Do I have to like people?

[CrystalSong]

My experience is I love everyone in the Big Picture. However their human identity/personality/ego maybe most unpleasant and I am not required to hang around it.

[Torgo]

Originally Posted by Neenu

Hey Bhavani,

Spirituality is not a hiding place, and cloaking everything in 'love' is just a way of not confronting the true feelings that lie below. Loving everyone is just a way of hiding from your own emotions.

There are several wrathful deities in Buddhism, like Dorje Drollo or Yamantaka. Not everything is always about peace and love, but also about transforming negative to positive. Like tough parenting, it comes from love but can be hard for the child.

We all have the ultimate true Buddha nature in our selves. The true buddha nature is just clouded by our own dualistic mind and loads of karma.

Pain and existential discomfort is one of the best motivators for development spiritually. With spiritually I mean clearing karma and developing clarity of mind and a diminishing sense of self. Not new-agey things, although they might come as a by product as the mind gets clearer and clearer.

As the self diminishes (the sense of me, I, myself), you also have less emotions /dislikes towards people or things. One starts slowly to realize that the stuff happening around is not aimed at you, it is just stuff that happens. There is no you to whom the stuff happens, and so it looses its grip (emotion) on you.

Wow, the first sentence I put in bold really hit me like a ton of bricks. It was the missing piece of the puzzle for me. Thank you.

And I've heard the other stuff in bold so many times before, but for some reason it really resonated just now. Thanks for posting this.

[Iamit]

Originally Posted by CrystalSong

My experience is I love everyone in the Big Picture. However their human identity/personality/ego maybe most unpleasant and I am not required to hang around it.

If only there was a 'you' to choose to hang around it or not, despite appearances to the contrary:) If it is required for you to hang around it, there is nothing you can do to prevent hanging around it happening. If it is not required for you to hang around it, there is nothing you can do to make hanging around it happen:)

"If you want to understand the Secrets of the Universe think in terms of Energy, Frequency and Vibration"

Great quote. At least if you want to understand the nature of resonance, in particular when the resonance is between one's mind frequency/vibration and the frequency/vibration of the concept "All is One"

Mind (KA BOOM) blowing:)

[davidsun]

Originally Posted by Bhavani

Hi, I am posting in the ND forum as that is where my beliefs lie.
I have kind of had it with liking everyone.
There is a certain notion that spiritual types should deeply love everyone.
Isnt is possible to know that we are a love manifestation, whilst also not liking people?
Of course there is the idea of projection. That what I dislike in another is what needs to be healed in oneself.
And of course to give time to healing a self, only furthers the ignorance.
I like most people. I easily tolerate just about everyone. But I do dislike someone.
I am now moving from: "overcome your dislike, they are another one having a human experience", to...."nah, i dont know why, but I really dislike the that person even though they appear to be harmless, and i will now accept my dislike". It feels better (more correct) to just give up trying to like them when I dont.
Any thoughts?
Obviously I am not at full realization, but appreciate the perspective of you non dualists on this.
TA :)

If and when you LOVE something (like Life Itself) of someone (like another person), the issue of whether you LIKE or don't LIKE them becomes IRRELEVANT. The issue/point then becomes what will (and won't!) SERVE to promote/advance THEIR 'development' in a positively FLOWERing (of greater goodness/love) way/result.


P.S. To 'drive' my point 'home': Do you think a mother/father/brother/sister LIKE's the 'smell' of a bay's SH*T?

[Tobi]

Viewed en-masse, humans can be a blasted nuisance....

Yet individually it's weird. How many times I have come across someone with whom I haven't the slightest thing in common, and yet I can't help "liking them". Yes that's weird. Sometimes I just see them in a deeper-down way and just want to give them a hug spontaneously and for no good reason, but don't because they probably wouldn't like it.
Some humans are worse than cats...

[Nature Grows]

You know what I don't like, the thing I don't like that some people do is, when I am walking through the shopping mall or any place really going somewhere and some people cut In front of me an walk really slow, I also don't like it when people take for ever to do something, so I have to wait for them, like we need to fix the car for example but they want to take there time and just make the process longer then it has to be by also doing other things to the car as well that don't need to be done, another example if we are going somewhere but the person I am with is taking for ever to get ready or sort stuff. Another one is someone is trying to do something maybe on a GPS in a car for example and doesn't know what they are doing, but thinks they do and just sit there trying to figure something out that I could do in one second.

I don't like it when people are slow and stupid basically especially when stuff needs to be done, stupidity on its own is ok cause it can be funny, but slowness mixed with stupid.. no! .... rant over.

[revolver]

Its nothing about loving everyone, its all about knowing that most are asleep and don't realize who they truly are, for this reason we should have compassion for those who are still asleep, after all we were once asleep.

[Torgo]

Originally Posted by revolver

Its nothing about loving everyone, its all about knowing that most are asleep and don't realize who they truly are, for this reason we should have compassion for those who are still asleep, after all we were once asleep.

This is great, too. Thanks for that.

[Torgo]

It's liberating to know that's it's okay-- where I am right now in my evolution-- that I don't have to like or love everyone. With more experiences and ego death I am sure I will get to a point of feeling more connected and see things as they really are. But for right now it's empowering to know that my job is to simply identify my emotions when they arise instead of denying them. Once I can identify them, I can liberate them and go beyond old toxic patterns and then *honestly* have some room for compassion and awareness to grow.

For example, this morning I thought long and hard about a couple of people that don't like me and I don't like them. Instead of trying to wonder why we all just can't be friends, I just sat there and accepted that I don't like them. They don't like me. Period. And I didn't try to change this or control it by finding ways out of the discomfort of it. I just sat there and felt it.

And the more I thought about how I don't like them and how they don't like me, etc., I found myself actually genuinely liking things about them. I still don't want to be their friend or let them use me as a doormat, but I can now honestly appreciate from afar things about them that are wonderful. I didn't have to force myself to feel those things-- it just naturally and honestly flowed. But I still maintain my boundaries. It's stating to make sense how attachments and aversions really have no weight. It all becomes equal weight eventually.

Anyway just thought I'd share. Thanks for this thread. It's been helpful.

[davidsun]

Originally Posted by Torgo

Anyway just thought I'd share. Thanks for this thread. It's been helpful.

WOOHOO!