Purpose

[Inika]

I never experienced depression in my life until I met him.

then again. I'd just had a baby. my third baby. I had a 13 year old (she is now almost 21). a 14 month old and a newborn and a failed marriage to boot. Maybe depression was already there in the works and it got triggered in a major way when the sc removed himself from the situation. Leaving me to having to deal with how life was on my own. I got scared. but if none of this happened. where would I be? Would I have overcome any of it?

All you have is strength at the end of the day.

what was the point for him? I may never know.

[Ariaecheflame]

Hey Inika.

I was planning how to end my life when I put an ultimatum out to the sky. I'd been chronically depressed for 10 years before hand felt so utterly exhausted in every possible way.

As soon as I pleaded with the sky a memory of the pure love connection I'd felt with my soul connection came flooding into my being and I heard his voice speak to me... I had not seen his physical person in five years.

It quite literally saved my life and started me off on the journey of complete healing from my chronic mental health issues. My biggest hope in my life is that I will one day see and speak to him again in person - as I really feel that it would be such a blessing to be given the chance to express just how grateful I am that he took the time all those years ago to be a friend who I felt just really saw me - who I am at my core - and who eventually inspired me on this journey back to me now being able to see myself as the reflection I saw... and felt... and truely know and believe in my own value.

[Inika]

Thanks emerald :) there are many purposes to the why.

to be clear. my son was not a newborn when i met the sc. he was a year old by then. It was during that time, since his birth, that i'd undergone marriage separation and then followed a spiritual awakening. coming to this forum to seek answers of paranormal type discussions.

I was high spiritually, understanding and trusting inner sensors for the first time in my life. seeing more than only this physical reality.

when i met him. for the first time ever i had met someone that 'got it' at that spiritual/soul level. so i was buzzing on a high in that alone. totally excitingly happy every day, feeling him before he'd be there. smiling all day, every day.

so when the fall away came. I had nothing to see but what had all gone on. Had i dealt with my marriage being over properly? Had I dealt with the toll it took? or had i just gone through swings to avoid it and hold onto my sanity through exciting experiences above the 'norm'. I'd go through a period of self doubt and self sabbotage and many therapists to get me diagnosed so i could put it to rest. medicate the problem so it stops. the fix my life pill.

i had to deal with the reality of the toll it all took emotionally on me in my life and stay in this reality to do so. sc diving with me into other worldly lucid realities was not the solution. he'd feel it anyway. heavy energy. so became no fun. I'd have to work at this at the soul level by working on the 'avoidance' until i am ready to feel light enough to truly benefit anyone.

i'd even not work on my practice until i knew i wasnt carrying so much emotional weight.

I can go forward slowly without attaching anything onto him that is not going to help him or me. because i'd not experienced soul talk with another ever in my life until him, i'd had no one else to compare that to. and i couldnt say relationship because the energy didnt have a title. its hard to describe. but im done bypassing the purpose by focusing on the theories and their meaning.

really, and all honesty. do they feel the same about a spiritual/soul connection? without a title. if so, why must it go or become a specific way to be something other than love?

kind of sucks. maybe someone gets what i mean.

its sucked total ballz but been totally helpful too.

[Inika]

what i have learned to 'live with' without it needing to come of anything, is the energy of 'feeling them' close by now and then.

accepting it's part of connected energy.

[Anne]

Originally Posted by Inika

what i have learned to 'live with' without it needing to come of anything, is the energy of 'feeling them' close by now and then.

accepting it's part of connected energy.

I feel this is where I am in my journey.

My penchant for ranting and raving at the Universe for having the rug ripped beneath me is slowly diminishing.

Acceptance is key. The sublime energy remains intact, and for that I am grateful.

[Inika]

thanks Anne :) accepting yes and trying not to let it become too distracting.

I have a great spirit guide that helps keep me on track here in 3D. To achieve goals.

Emerald, would you say you are fully there in overcoming depression? 10 years is a long time. 3 years of it felt like eternity for me!

I felt depression was indicating non-alignment within. knowing you are not following the right path that creates your highest joy. A trapped feeling in the mind, like a bird in a cage.

[Ariaecheflame]

Originally Posted by Inika

thanks Anne :) accepting yes and trying not to let it become too distracting.

I have a great spirit guide that helps keep me on track here in 3D. To achieve goals.

Emerald, would you say you are fully there in overcoming depression? 10 years is a long time. 3 years of it felt like eternity for me!

I felt depression was indicating non-alignment within. knowing you are not following the right path that creates your highest joy. A trapped feeling in the mind, like a bird in a cage.

I remember I used to write alot of songs and poetry about being a caged bird! I felt trapped for so long and didn't know how or that I even could free myself and Yes 10 years is a long time - too long. Especially an age and in an environment where all the adults around me were also trapped in their own mental health prisons - who were in such dense dark clouds of their own that they could not see me drowning.
Thankfully though I had two childhood friends who helped me without even being aware of their impact - who saved me - one who kept my head above water and kept me in the sun when I could not do that alone and the other who saw the light flickering within me when I was drowning in the darkness...

I don't know if I will ever be able to express how grateful I am - but I know that I must find a way to do so... in some way... however my soul needs to express that... and so even sharing here now is one way which I can pay those blessings forward so to speak.

In answer to your question - Yes - I would say that I cured the worst of my depression -at least many of the core issues anyway... this mostly happened in the three months of purging which followed awakening in 2012. I do still feel depressed occasionally but it never seems to last more than a few days- and mostly occurs when I am purging another layer where I feel I am isolated, disconnected, neglected by source, or out of alignment with my highest self aspect as you mentioned.
I have learnt to access so many tools on this TF path which I now use on a daily basis. Some of which came through via a psychologist who I was seeing or something my sibling passed onto me through a wonderful counselor she had but for the majority it was through my own dedication to this TF path of self - love and healing.

When I was a kid we used to own the Louise Hay book 'You can heal yourself" and I remember getting really angry when reading that depression can be caused by repressed emotions lol!
Mindfulness practice has allowed me to live in the moment and learn to embrace my emotions as they come. I was at one point so disconnected from my body, the earth and my emotions that I wasn't even aware that I had any emotions! I had learnt to suppress them as a child for survival.

Now days when depression comes into my experience I welcome it as an old friend - it always has something to show me - it is always trying to alert me to something which my soul needs me to know which my ego might be trying to deny.
You know how depression is called "The black dog?" Well I used this analogy and treated my depression like a friend, a lost little dog who came to me for love and nurturing - I even gave it a name and when it came to visit I would talk to it and ask it what it needed from me... depression has taught me so much about having compassion for self... more often than not even the act of acknowledging what it has to show me is enough.

One think which the TF path has given me is the knowledge on how to access, connect and receive the field of pure unconditional love and ask on behalf of my higher self to heal and transmute any trauma, pain, grief and feelings of disconnection... in doing so though I am open to receive or be guided to what I need and love myself enough to accept compassionate assistance.

I hope that something in my post has helped you - I wanted to express myself as freely as possible in hope that my words would serve the highest good.

Any step - however small you take towards healing adds up - every step however small is a step made with courage and is something to feel quite proud of

[Inika]

thats great, thank you emerald! :) the book we had of louise hay when i was a kid was 'feel the fear and do it anyway' my sister and mother would rave on about it. I've never been a 'the book to cure your messy life' type of person. the answers are always within me. just that, it sometimes takes so so much bloody time to 'get it!!!'

the black dog is a familiar too. It resonated.

I always wondered, why now? i get to my mid life (30s) and now? after each birth of my children, fine, life is upbeat. until a year later after my third child and meeting someone did it erupt uncontrollably that urgent help was needed. It could NOT, would NOT be ignored or dismissed. something major was not right.

wth? but i did it, am doing it and will keep doing it. Growing stronger, happier.