1st PLR this Fri 12/7 - suggestions/tips?

Originally Posted by Belle

This is a very healing time in the universe and what you need to be shown you will be shown, but that is only part of the story, it does take effort and will to change very very deep seated patterns which might have been in your cells for many many lifetimes.

Take the past lifetime and see how you / your medium / your fellow travellers can find the meaning for you for the now so you can transform your life.

(Sorry if I've waffled too much)

I hope I figured out how to use the "quote" function properly... we shall see...

Belle, I resonate with your entire post, even the details feel relevant for me. Thank you for sharing so deeply (no waffling by my view!) I'm excited, but scared... I'm also wary of hoping 'this is THE thing' that will change patterns & struggles I've tried to address in various ways for over decade... I'm so tired of the onion layers (yep, you're right about that!)...is it ever unpeeled and transformed into something else entirely? Like... ingredients for a lovely, health sustaining meal, perhaps?)

I feel like what I'm dealing with IS in fact some sort of energy/belief/behavior (?) pattern (the latter formed & fed by the former, subconsciously?) that I'm 'resorting' to this technique to see if it helps. Two astrologers looked at my chart (lots of 12th house stuff & another aspect or something or another or two) and said "Wow, you have huge secrets/possibly/probably traumas hidden to you, that you can't see, and they effect all you try to do in this life. I recommend PLR..." I think I may encounter something from my birth/pre-birth, as you mentioned you did, too....and/or seeds of something from prior lives that feed what I suspect has been 'implanted' energetically from something with my parents (whoever they may have been to me before...)...

I'll (gulp) be ready to see if I am not always the victim (ugh!) I definitely feel like this time around, but perhaps the perpetrator & a part of these ongoing dramas...my conscious deep desire is to just let go of and heal these patterns...and thus far conscious/cognitive work on them has only had minimal effectiveness. Energy work like EMDR has been very helpful, though. And now, for what I see as an even deeper, dig out the root of the wart, the weed, approach...

I thank you again for your candid, open hearted sharing! I've found it so supportive, helpful, and encouraging in it's honesty.

xo Shannon

Originally Posted by Raineco

Often even when I can forgive I can't stand to be around the person, who's still in their old ways. I applaud your integrity and strength with your sister."

I'm with you, Raineco. I've done the 'forgiving' (?) (not entirely sure I know what that means....Oprah says it's letting go of the hope that the past can be any different...which seems different from other ideas I've heard about forgiveness....but seems closest to what I've been able to do with folks who have hurt me deeply...but like you, I keep my distance. Forgiving is not forgetting, and who I choose to spend time with and energy on is important to me, and it's not people who don't do their own work on their own mistakes & challenges....

Anyway, thanks for your sharing and input, too! And maybe this is true....(esp. since we probably can't prove our PLR's one way or another...)...whether the details are true or not, if the perspective and information they offer help us see and release/heal patterns in this life, they are just as powerful a tool to use to help oneself as anything else, eh?

Love to all, I'll report back whatever I think may be tranferable to others after Friday...

xo Shannon

[Belle]

hi - curious as to how it all went if you wish to share?

Hope you are ok.

Hi Belle (and all).... well, it didn't happen. Briefly, the practitioner & I didn't gel & I didn't feel safe or comfortable so she referred me to her practitioner who I spoke to on the phone but didn't feel it with her, either. It was a shocking turn of events as my in person experience with her was SO different than the phone appts (mediumship readings) I'd had with her...I'm super disappointed & was really shaken up on Friday.... I don't see a use in getting into alllll the details I guess...so not sure what to do.

Ironically, part of my astrology chart that prompted me seeking a PLR also shows I am here this life to learn to only rely emotionally on myself (which just seems like an awful, lonely existence...I'm probably taking this wrong but that's how it feels at the moment)... so I'm wondering if I am not to work with a practitioner, or anyone, really, to help me with these things, maybe I'm on my own with all this, too.....ever since my fiance died in Aug 2011 I've felt very very emotionally alone, on my own to deal with all the grieve & peripheral loss of illusions of family & friends that one would think would support me & either didn't at all or so little it was shocking....my heart is totally broken...and when I reach out for help, like this PLR that I believed would help me get to the root of these abandonment issues I have repeatedly in my life..... that doesn't happen either.....I'm pretty defeated, actually... am I really here to go it alone? That just doesn't seem like a logical life path to me... I don't know. Either way, it sucks. So I"m okay as I can be given all that. Thanks for letting me get it out a bit here.

As far as PLR, it's not something I really want to try on my own... I don't think I'll get myself deep enough (read some folks on here talking about self-hypnosis CD's from Brian Weiss or others)...but I really really wanted the PLR....so not sure what I'm going to do. Thanks again for listening!

[Belle]

I can see that being hugely disappointing, I'm very sorry to hear it.

I would give yourself a lot of space and time, you don't need to make any decisions as to what to do next and just because it didn't work out then, it doesn't mean it's not right for the future.

As to relying on the self emotionally - well - I actually believe we are all meant to be emotionally self-reliant predominantly, that doesn't mean we don't seek people to help us get to grips with our emotions, have people share the highs and lows of our journeys as we share their highs and lows. But at the end of the day, we are all responsible for ourselves.

Have some comfort food and be very gentle with yourselves and allow yourself the space and time - and ask the universe to help you know the way forwards.

Originally Posted by travelgirlfl

...I'm super disappointed & was really shaken up on Friday....

Ironically, part of my astrology chart that prompted me seeking a PLR also shows I am here this life to learn to only rely emotionally on myself (which just seems like an awful, lonely existence...
...ever since my fiance died in Aug 2011 I've felt very very emotionally alone, on my own to deal with all the grieve & peripheral loss of illusions of family & friends that one would think would support me & either didn't at all or so little it was shocking....my heart is totally broken...

so sorry to hear that Travelgirl/Shannon, what a bummer. Sounds like maybe you could turn around the "only rely on myself" thing - to something not so punishing? Just an idea, that you could put a different spin on it, that you don't need to deny your need for support in order to still make the most of that insight about self-reliance. (and can I ask how exactly does a chart suggest this? is it in the houses/depend on rising sign? i'm doing a lot of self-study on astrology and don't quite understand houses).

Perhaps its about strengthening that part of yourself & your reliance on guides and angels and God that gives you core strength that isn't dependent on others - who are now not the same people as those who abandoned us earlier- and not as culpable, but we still have a gut level reaction of hurt when they remind us of the distant past & some unconscious memories, which can include belief that you were unworthy/deserved to be abandoned, hence attracting it, vicious cycle.

There is someone to do the PLR with you if thats what you really want. But maybe you need some preparation of lifting your core beliefs about what you deserve and what IS 'out there' or in the universe to support you. I think whoever said "only on yourself" may have just randomly chosen words that weren't quite right - what was meant was really just that emotional self-reliance is an area you need strengthened, to forgive others in the past, and so you'll have more to give & demonstrate when you have healed. I hope that helps, it's a rocky path, I know. We all need help and we don't get there straightaway, more challenging IS more rewarding.

Belle, thank you so much for your kind hearted and honest response. I've noticed you have that gift of saying something powerful in a small amount of words. I envy that :)

Raineco, let's see if I can do the quote thing....when you said,

Perhaps its about strengthening that part of yourself & your reliance on guides and angels and God that gives you core strength that isn't dependent on others - who are now not the same people as those who abandoned us earlier- and not as culpable, but we still have a gut level reaction of hurt when they remind us of the distant past & some unconscious memories, which can include belief that you were unworthy/deserved to be abandoned, hence attracting it, vicious cycle.

I was shocked....because you are uncannily accurate in my mind. That's all I could conclude myself in the last year or so since my beloved's passing. HE was/is actually still with me, I could/can feel him, he sent/sends all sorts of signs, his love was/is still very present. But so few humans on the planet were, that I took to talking to him, and my guides directly (and realizing I could often discern between them, what was from whom)...and so in some ways it's been good, these experiences with Spirit, though the earthly experiences have been just horribly hard.It's weird, as I never thought of myself as not emotionally self reliant until recently, but as I've gotten older I see that my emotional needs and what I think as the 'norm' is not so for other people. I've questioned if I'm just hanging with (and related to) people too different from me, less emotionally expressive/aware/capable than me, or if I'm too needy ... I think probably both are true to various degrees.

At any rate, I was SO VERY MUCH hoping the PLR would illuminate the roots & hopefully even heal them...I did some investigating for other practitioners, there is one other near me, so maybe.

Raineco, about the astrology... I know the PLR was suggested because I have a full 12th house (Sun, Moon, Saturn, Mercury, Venus, Vulcan & Part of Fortune (no idea what the last 2 even are :) ....just from notes I took), and one said "a stellium of planets in Gemini" there, too. There was something about having 2 intercepted houses and Scorpio in my 5th house which is, she said, karmic, and indicates deeply hidden emotions... I have all air & water, no earth or fire (or a tiny bit of earth? can't remember)...There may be more she saw, but that's as far as we got with talking about it. If you are learning & want to practice with my chart, private message me & I'll send you my birth info.

It took me almost a week to reply, but I read both pf your helpful, on target responses Sunday & several times since then as I processed both the experience and your input this week. Thank you again for the insights and support! I am just really struggling, for quite some time, and getting so tired from it, so your kindness is so valuable to me :)

Blessings!

And I'll throw this out here, too: once I recovered a bit, I went to the Unity church bookstore Monday where I ran into a deeply spiritual and compassionate acquaintance who is lovely, and though I didn't tell her about the PLR ordeal at all, I did tell her about my fiance's death & briefly how hard things have been since. She suggested someone she knows that reads the akashic records for some reason (I can't recall what prompted her to suggest this) that she thinks is just wonderful....could this be another way to approach what I want to know? I know just a tad about the records (not mine, just what the records are). Should I post this elsewhere or is the Past Lives forum a good place for questions about akashic records? (I'm a bit new here) Thanks again!

[Belle]

Akashic records is a brilliant thought and a way forwards if you ask me. It's not something I have done, I don't know someone who does that and that's what has kept me away from them.

And how lovely that you have your spiritual acquaintences in real life - perhaps a relationship to be nurtured?

Not sure where best to explore this in terms of threads but have a look around, akashic is discussed elsewhere (sorry can't remember where).

Maybe you are seeing the purpose behind your unpleasant experience? Perhaps there is a much better light at the end of the tunnel.

It's nice to hear from you again, Travelgirl ... I just hope that whatever you do next for insights, you will have more peace and joy in your life bcuz I sense you have so much to offer with your sincerity and caring heart. We are basically all Empaths, and yes we can be needy! (But i'm not saying your too needy- just, ya keep looking for like-minds; support and understanding both online and on ground are crucial, sounds like connecting w Beloved is so too).

Well glad that repeat-past-attract-the-same insight helps, it's a pretty common theme in any kind of "recovery" or 12-step of self-help environment. Most people remain gleefully unaware of these patterns, especially if their effect was either mild, or so rough it led to anger & defensiveness, cutting oneself off. I've found if I faithfully replace that "mad-at-God" feeling with "I know this is an opportunity for my soul to grow.." kinda thing, it helps, I can keep moving on.

About reading about Akashic- ya the other forums on here probably have a lot, and lots of articles online too, now (what an awesome resource for us at this time). I'll share something interesting Edgar Cayce said about them but I'll have to look it up as it's hard to paraphrase (reading Cayce is difficult) so I'll get back to yall on that.

Stay warm & peace out