Sudden feelings for the soulmate "that got away"

[AandN]

Hi all,

(I probably have never posted this much in such a short period of time, but 2016 has so far been very enlightening and a bit overwhelming to say the least).

As a lot of you are aware, I spent years mourning the falling out I had with my SC back in 2014. It took me two long years to finally reach the point where I can now function even better than I did before meeting him without feeling as though my life and his have to be entangled.

I also mentionned a few times a soulmate that I met back in 2015, with whom I had an instant connection. Unfortunately, we were co-workers and I wasn't over SC, so I rejected him pretty harshly despite my feelings for him. There were also a few other co-workers who clearly had a bias against me and said some not so nice things about me to dissuade him from chasing me. When I left the company, I told myself that if I ever were to move back to his country, I would try to reconnect. He was really the only man who caught my attention after SC because I hadn't felt anything for anyone else since 2013. That new soulmate left a strong mark on me, but I ended up forgetting about him for a little while in 2015.

Anyway. In the beginning of 2016 (January), I kept getting dreams involving him. I didn't understand why because I still had this grandiose idea that SC and I would wind up together, and I was not interested in that soulmate anymore. SC was very much single at the time. I even viewed this soulmate as "the one that got away" and my heart is filled with major regrets. However, the dreams became more and more frequent and so did the synchronicities. Again, I was left scratching my head because I was not seeing that man in a romantic light anymore. Yet, feelings of regrets started growing. I didn't understand why because he was the last thing I cared about.

Then, in April, on the day I found out about SC's new girlfriend, this soulmate updated his Facebook status in which he said he's moving to the city where I am currently located (different country hours away). I thought it was an odd coincidence, but didn't think much of it because I was heartbroken over SC.

After I gathered SC and I were taking different paths, I let go of him and the fantasy to focus on myself. The more I did so, the more my feelings for this other soulmate grew for some unknown reason. I don't even know why him specifically. The feelings, dreams and synchs have since intensified which I still don't understand. I went from yearning to be with SC, to now having feelings for this man and being close to indifferent to SC's existence.

I'm so confused! The more I let go of SC, the more this man takes over in my mind. I still don't get why him. I don't understand what is happening. How can I go from wanting SC one day to suddenly growing feelings for a man I haven't seen in a year! There are plenty of men out there (though this soulmate had a real impact on me and no one came after him). The feelings just keep increasing.

Can anyone help me understand what is happening here? Have you experienced something similar? If yes, what was the cause/end result?

Thank you!

[Mused]

Maybe your mind is replacing one addiction for another...

Ok, that didnt sound too good, but take time to be honest with yourself. And instead of overanalyzing, maybe you should reach out to this person

That would make things clear in terms of whether hes interested or not before your feelings grow out of hand when nothing happened between you two yet

[Impulsv]

Sometimes we have to clear karma with others first before reunited n

[Somnia]

I'd say try and contact him and see what happens, but at the same time try to prepare yourself for no expectations in case he doesn't reciprocate your communications...This way you will have a form of closure with him regardless if he responds or not...Who knows, if he does responds and wants to reconnect with you, it may be something worth pursuing...If he doesn't respond at least you can feel a sense that you tried and will not go through life wondering "what if" by never contacting him at all...

[lancing]

Maybe there is something there that you need to explore. This strong attraction to this person could be the universe leading you that way for certain reasons. Personally, I don't like to resist the pull of the universe, because we as human beings are oftentimes unaware of what is actually best for us. Self-imposed limitations can sometimes stop us from experiencing the things we need to experience. If it feels right, then go with it.

This could be caused by a great shift and increase in your own awareness and maturity. Perhaps this will lead you to a place where you realize that these deep connections are, and should be healthy. Perhaps it will lead you to more lessons about life, love and soul connections that you need to learn. Maybe even facilitate a deeper respect for love, for yourself and for all parties involved. Who knows? But, without exploration, you may never know. We are too often ruled by fear or even unnecessary devotion, but...nothing and no one that is holding you back should be allowed to hold you back. Your devotion should be to yourself. Act from love of yourself not from love of anyone else.

You may fear that you'll lose something...maybe a great love or great feelings...but...fear is often irrational. One thing is for damn sure...when love is pure, it cannot be lost - it lives within you. Your love for your SC is within you, and you can respect and honor that by respecting and honoring yourself. Being with someone else whom you want and love is not disrespecting that, because then you are living your life authentically. People may not understand that, but it's not for them to understand. Why limit yourself romantically? You'll never know what experiences may increase your capacity to love, live and understand.

Some of us just have to realize that moving on does not mean that things are lost, it just means that we are no longer clinging to certain things. Indifference towards being with your SC is quite natural, as it means that you are moving on and that you are getting better. Even more growth can be obtained, especially when you realize that indifference towards being with him is natural, but...indifference towards him...is not necessary.

If you're feeling something for this other person, then perhaps you should reach out to him.

[Somnia]

Originally Posted by lancing

Maybe there is something there that you need to explore. This strong attraction to this person could be the universe leading you that way for certain reasons.

This is exactly what happened with me before I got together with my mate...I felt this crazy strong urge/pull to call him up and talk to him over the phone, after having no contact for over a year due to him graduating High School (he was one grade above me)...So with encouragement from a friend, who basically told me the same thing you are saying here...that "the universe is leading you that way for a reason" I gave it a shot, called him up....and long story short we've been together for nearly 16 years...

:)

So you never know...It might lead to something long-term, or perhaps a short-term experience meant to further your personal growth in some way (learning life lessons, evolving spirituality, etc.)....

[lancing]

Originally Posted by Somnia

This is exactly what happened with me before I got together with my mate...I felt this crazy strong urge/pull to call him up and talk to him over the phone, after having no contact for over a year due to him graduating High School (he was one grade above me)...So with encouragement from a friend, who basically told me the same thing you are saying here...that "the universe is leading you that way for a reason" I gave it a shot, called him up....and long story short we've been together for nearly 16 years...

:)

So you never know...It might lead to something long-term, or perhaps a short-term experience meant to further your personal growth in some way (learning life lessons, evolving spirituality, etc.)....

That's beautiful and awesome!

[AandN]

Thank you very much for your input guys!


About SC:

In all honesty, the feelings are still there but I am nowhere near interested in having him back in my life (not in the desperate way I was before, at least). Of course, I wish things were different, but at this stage, I'm perfectly fine with following my own path. A lot of things have changed. The more I go, the more I am able to let go of him and the fantasy of the "reunion" to live my life.

The feelings are still there and they will always be, but in a different form. I've accepted the fact that we may never be together (again), but this should not impact how I feel. I feel as though he was a cataclyst that propelled me towards my destiny, but it is now time for me to sit in the driver's seat.

I am not scared at all of being with someone else, which took me a long long time. I'm not scared of losing SC (because I've already lost him physically to another woman). So, I've got no apprehension as on the surface, he's moved on completely. As a matter of fact, I don't view being with someone else as a step towards reunion, because I am not envisioning a reunion at this stage. I don't even attach the meaning of a new relationship to him at all. It's unhealthy and unfair on any new person who may come in, because you end up regarding them as a mean towards a goal. A reunion isn't something that is on my mind at the moment. At the moment, I want to expand my career and experience romantic love in a harmonious manner.

In the past (2013-January 2016), I would get high anxiety at the thought of dating someone new. I tried both online dating and dating in real life, and it always ended in tears and anxiety.

About this soulmate:

The only person who didn't trigger this feeling of anxiety was this other soulmate.

I felt something as soon as I saw him on his first day at work and I'm sure he felt something too, because he asked me to hang out with him after work a few times and I declined each time. Yet, at the time, I was so hung up on SC that I was surprised this man was the only one I pictured myself with after SC. There was an instant connection (which cannot be compared to the one with SC).

Also, he kept trying to get closer to me despite my multiple rejections.

Now, I think I took the fact that he's moving halfway across the continent to be in the city I'm currently in as a "sign" because although I was still hung up on SC after this soulmate left the company, the soulmate was still on my mind from time to time.

I thought he was a simply crush until I started repeatedly dreaming of him in January and the feelings suddenly resurfaced. I actually thought about whether or not I am trying to replace SC with him as a subsitute, but I've always felt something for this soulmate. It's simply that I was so caught up on SC that I couldn't allow anyone else in. Yet, the feelings for the soulmate resurfaced way before I let go of SC. It wasn't until I let go of SC that I gathered this soulmate could have been the real deal if I was ready last year.

The thing with this soulmate is that there is no "addiction". I am not obsessed with him. I don't even check his social media or try to find out every detail about him like I did with SC. I didn't Google him to find things about him or checked his Instagram. I don't care to, really. Whereas with SC, I was obsessed in a very unhealthy manner. I am capable of functioning normally. There's nothing "addictive" about this connection. I feel a pull but it's much more balanced.

I need to figure how I feel before making a move. I know he's single, but since I rejected him in the past, things are slightly tough. The pull has been consistent since January, so we'll see how I feel in a few weeks.

The one thing I however noticed is that when something is meant to be, it always come back around. If it's not, there is going to be blockages. For instance, I thought about contacting SC multiple times in the past two years and each time I started writing the message on FB, there'd be an update on his side on that very same day (moved cities, moved countries, relationship status) which led me to drop my plans. My laptop even broke down completely right when I started writing the last message in March. I took it as a sign from the Universe that it wasn't meant to be which turned out to be accurate because he swiftly updated his relationship status afterwards.

With this soulmate, I remember that each time I wanted to bump into him, I'd end up seeing him five minutes later even if he was on the opposite end of the building. Same when I wanted to talk to him, he'd come up to me within 5 minutes of me thinking about that. Hence, the fact that I took his move to my current location as a sign since I thought I'd reconnect if I were to move back to his hometown.

I believe in signs having experienced them first hand with many non-romance related events. It's astonishing how much guidance can signs provide you with. They helped me a lot regarding my moves and my career, so I think they can definitely have a certain meaning.

[Awakened Queen]

Don't overthink it and reach out if you can. Go with the flow. See where it takes you

[AandN]

Thank you very much Awakened!

Yesterday, as I was typing a response, a July tarot reading was in the background and the card "unrequited love" popped up. I assumed it mean it referred to this person.

Then I had a dream and it made me understand that the unrequited love reference relates to SC. I know it deep down inside. That chapter is over and it's burried six feet under at this stage. That's probably the reason why I suddenly opened my eyes and saw the true worth of this other soulmate, because the rose-tinted glasses from the past came off.

When you are obsessed with one person, you tend to disregard other soulmates who may then pass by. Once you let go, you've finally opened your heart again for someone else to come in, naturally.

This soulmate and I are friends on Facebook. I'm trying to get back into his good graces, but I was quite harsh on him. Yet, I know there's a reason why I'm feeling this way towards him. Whatever the reason is, I know there is a lesson behind this.

He's been consistenly appearing in my dreams since January 1st unlike SC who literally disappeared from my dreams almost two years ago. We'll see what happens.