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  #21  
Old 04-12-2017, 05:05 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
It's been building up for a while now and needs more of a sustained release over a few hours and then, the dam will break and flood my room...at the moment, water is seeping through a small crack in it and I'm trying to hold it back...I've been doing that for about a week now...nobody really talks about how awesome and beautiful He is...their personal relation with the Divine and it also touches that aspect of Him also within me...and we are 'kindred spirits'....anyway, have a beautiful sleep tonight dear, pleasant dreams.


ayyyy. shivatar don't quit when the dream is within arms reach.

talk is here to be held for as long as you need it until the dam breaks.

--

So you haven't been having your weekly/daily/monthly breaks of Shiva eh?
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  #22  
Old 04-12-2017, 05:25 AM
running running is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naturesflow
If your integrated into a whole body awareness of energy, have an awareness of masculine and feminine as part of your own separation and focus that can be a direct experience as one, then the sensations of movement or activations are just happening as things are as a whole creation.

Where one is looking and noticing, feeling, seeing, is where one creates it to be happening.

The whole of nature is a interconnected dynamic of movement just happening as nature is as a whole.

So in an example, we can look at it this way. When a volcano erupts with such force and intensity and power, where we are within and noticing, experiencing this force and intensity is according to where we are experiencing and noticing within ourselves aware....As an example, if I am sitting close by meditating, in stillness/unmoved, feeling the intensity and current, aware of this eruption, connect and feel all the sensations of this moment in nature in myself, what creates the story/movement in myself to know and speak it as a Shakti/she power? Who decides I am moved or unmoved? What part of that experience says my silence and my Shakti are two separate aspects of myself and the external? When masculine and feminine are not divided in self the experience is a direct experience of your true nature, aware and open to the whole of yourself one with nature..

What part of me says the volcano stands alone in that moment of its own powerful experience as nature is as a whole?

the identity does. ok. thanx for sharing.
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  #23  
Old 04-12-2017, 05:30 AM
running running is offline
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Originally Posted by django
Mostly these are external sources, but to play devils advocate, what if these external avenues were cut off - say you became a quadraplegic stuck in a nursing home, not even able to ask for stimulation, what happens then?

energetic connection doesnt happen through the ordinary senses. so things are possible still.
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  #24  
Old 04-12-2017, 05:30 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shivatar
ayyyy. shivatar don't quit when the dream is within arms reach.

talk is here to be held for as long as you need it until the dam breaks.

--

So you haven't been having your weekly/daily/monthly breaks of Shiva eh?
Sorry I was off for a bit, needed to eat.

No, I haven't...it's like I've just been going through the motions in the awareness of that love and not the full experience of it.

I haven't been giving into it and letting go, because I'm trying to hold on to that part of myself that still thinks it is in some way separate...ego yeah.

The dam will break on its own, with a certain trigger which will appear tonight or tomorrow...it has started as of last night, and I've been teary all day.

It's been a while since it last happened (about 8 months now) and since then, the ego-engineers have been working hard at reinforcing it...but I'm like that little Dutch kid, plugging the hole with my finger...and Shiva is saying "get your finger out" and I'm like "no...you tickle me".
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  #25  
Old 04-12-2017, 05:45 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
Sorry I was off for a bit, needed to eat.

No, I haven't...it's like I've just been going through the motions in the awareness of that love and not the full experience of it.

I haven't been giving into it and letting go, because I'm trying to hold on to that part of myself that still thinks it is in some way separate...ego yeah.

The dam will break on its own, with a certain trigger which will appear tonight or tomorrow...it has started as of last night, and I've been teary all day.

It's been a while since it last happened (about 8 months now) and since then, the ego-engineers have been working hard at reinforcing it...but I'm like that little Dutch kid, plugging the hole with my finger...and Shiva is saying "get your finger out" and I'm like "no...you tickle me".


Ayy babe, shiva sent me ;) ya know how freaky Shiva gets lololol

Why let the dam break on it's own when I am here knocking on your door?
and not in the spirital form, literally, in human form knocking on your door?

Waiting for a cry eh?
No need for that anymore. It's time for a good feeling, that is the impression I get. the feeling you are getting now but are not entirely aware of it.

yeah? feeling it now?
I really hope it only a little nudge. you know how i am.
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  #26  
Old 04-12-2017, 06:07 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shivatar
Ayy babe, shiva sent me ;) ya know how freaky Shiva gets lololol

Why let the dam break on it's own when I am here knocking on your door?
and not in the spirital form, literally, in human form knocking on your door?

Waiting for a cry eh?
No need for that anymore. It's time for a good feeling, that is the impression I get. the feeling you are getting now but are not entirely aware of it.

yeah? feeling it now?
I really hope it only a little nudge. you know how i am.
Yeah, you are His Avatar, I know...I'm still trying to work out which one, or if He created a whole new one just for me.

I know...I also love you dear friend.

When I am lost in tears of love for Shiva...when I find myself face-down on the floor, fully prostrate at His beautiful radiant presence...letting the love flow like a giant game of snowball ping-pong...something happens...and this also has to do with the topic...

I lose all sense of self, time, space, motion and my spine starts playing the electro-whip...kundalini rises.

It's been many months since it last did...I try and keep a lid on it because of the intensity of the whole experience and when the dam totally breaks...water turns to fire and rushes up my spine like Mt Vesuvius and I don't know if I'm ready to let that happen again yet, but it's getting to the stage of 'like it or not, here I come'.

It takes something so beautifully Shiva inspired, like a song, image, maybe the words of a dear friend to start it off....and the resistance is broken, but I also know I have to allow it and not try and force it to happen either.
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  #27  
Old 04-12-2017, 06:21 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
Yeah, you are His Avatar, I know...I'm still trying to work out which one, or if He created a whole new one just for me.

I know...I also love you dear friend.

When I am lost in tears of love for Shiva...when I find myself face-down on the floor, fully prostrate at His beautiful radiant presence...letting the love flow like a giant game of snowball ping-pong...something happens...and this also has to do with the topic...

I lose all sense of self, time, space, motion and my spine starts playing the electro-whip...kundalini rises.

It's been many months since it last did...I try and keep a lid on it because of the intensity of the whole experience and when the dam totally breaks...water turns to fire and rushes up my spine like Mt Vesuvius and I don't know if I'm ready to let that happen again yet, but it's getting to the stage of 'like it or not, here I come'.

It takes something so beautifully Shiva inspired, like a song, image, maybe the words of a dear friend to start it off....and the resistance is broken, but I also know I have to allow it and not try and force it to happen either.

Lol you think I am a singular one.

Are you a singular one?
Maybe I am talking to the the wrong one.

shiva created us both at the same time friend. if I wanted to I could coax Shiva out of you. However for egotistical purposes I prefer to keep Shiva within myself. I hope you take my word for it though, Shiva is in you too, it's just a game for now as to why you can see it in me vs in yourself.

---

Maybe you are just recharging. I don't blame you(shiva), nor do I (shivatar) attempt to understand why you act the way you do. I (shivatar) act in cycles too and Shiva is sometimes elusive to me (except when I post on spiritual forums lol).

Do what makes you feel good. I know that you will someday blossom unto the perfect lotus that you are meant to be.
----

Ayy, by the way, what is so bad about breaking into a total shiva experience?

The depression?
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  #28  
Old 04-12-2017, 06:24 AM
naturesflow naturesflow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by running
the identity does. ok. thanx for sharing.


The ID does?

SO can you elaborate further as to how your own direct experience is determined as being what you call it? The labels we apply are human designed. We separate things out and single things out. The whole connection or movements are within you as a whole host, as they are without in the same way...
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  #29  
Old 04-12-2017, 06:36 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shivatar
Ayy, by the way, what is so bad about breaking into a total shiva experience?
The depression?
It's not depression...I thought maybe fear, but it's not that either...I don't know...maybe it's me still trying to hang on and be Shivani...as I conceptualise...I can't say what stops me from breaking into a full Shiva experience...when I feel it starting, I'm like 'no ya don't...not yet...not ready...I wan't so badly, but don't want...I'm still getting over the last time'. lol
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  #30  
Old 04-12-2017, 06:38 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
if I wanted to I could coax Shiva out of you. However for egotistical purposes I prefer to keep Shiva within myself.
Drop the ego and just do it for both our sakes. <3
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