Desire causes suffering...

Hi - am familiar with Buddhism but how do you minimise desire without entailing lethargy/depression? For instance, I battle internally about whether wanting to cultivate friendships is spiritually weak - feel I'm missing something/not "getting" the correct Buddhist approach on this. Can you enlighten me on this?...

I think this is a job for me (lol)

There is nothing, IMO, 'spiritually weak' about cultivating friendships, I actually can't understand how you came up with this reasoning. It is most likely spiritually strong to cultivate friendships with others, everone you meet gives you a gift, something that you learn about yourself. So it would not be spiritually weak to make friends, but the other way round. You will gain strentgth both mental and spiritual from friendships, a friend is a great thing to have.

Enlightener

[daisy]

i completely agree with you there enlightener xx

Originally Posted by amy green

Hi - am familiar with Buddhism but how do you minimise desire without entailing lethargy/depression? For instance, I battle internally about whether wanting to cultivate friendships is spiritually weak - feel I'm missing something/not "getting" the correct Buddhist approach on this. Can you enlighten me on this?...

A single being is just like a line of poetry, alone you are just gibberish , significance lies in relationship with whole with fellow beings , then only one can write a whole poem ,whenever two person meet a new phnomenon is created ,a person who is afraid of friendship is afraid of himself,because in friendship he is mirrored,be with as many ppl you can to learn more about yourself ,and thus transcend

Of course friendships are good/healthy. My question on cultivating friendships is specifically in the context of the Buddhist belief that to desire causes suffering. What I'm asking is that, if I desire friendships is this a sign of spiritual weakness/a vice?

[chadley]

Originally Posted by amy green

Of course friendships are good/healthy. My question on cultivating friendships is specifically in the context of the Buddhist belief that to desire causes suffering. What I'm asking is that, if I desire friendships is this a sign of spiritual weakness/a vice?

I understand what you are asking Amygreen. Here's my answer:

Friendships/relationships are at their most healthy when they are joined without attachment, without reliance. It is a powerful thing to contimplate, but in order to eventually truly give up your body, as Christ did, you must be willing to give up all attachments including your friends, and even family. This comes with the total realization that we are all family. If you rely on friends, family or a loved one to be a source of security for your happiness, in the end, it is an attachment that will bind you to the physical world. This level of non-attachment is what separates the men from the boys in the spiritual world. But then again, Buddha was not your average dude, was he? Did not Buddha leave his wife and child when he left on his journey for truth?

Does this mean it is unhealthy to have friends? Not at all. It means that the desire to seek happiness through friendship is seeking it in the outerworld, the external, instead of looking within and uncovering the true source of power and joy, your divine star, the seat of your soul. True happiness does not come from other people, it comes from giving to them. As your vibration increases, you surround yourself with those of a similar consciousness, some friends remain, some you outgrow. This brings us back to attachment. Every outgrown your friends? It is almost inevitable in ones journey as everyone grows at different rates. You must be willing to let go of friendships that hold you to a lower level of consciousness.

Chadley.

The relationship between two people is sacred ground. It is sacred because without another person with which to identify yourself you would be lost. It would be like flaoting in the middle of a completely dark room, you would have no exterior stimulus with which to relate. Now, once you turn on the light you would be able to see the walls, the floor and the ceiling; you now have something to relate with and you can start creating experiences for yourself again. Now add a cat, and now you have another being with which to relate. Because we live in the realm of the relative9 we need other 'things' to relate with, so we can know who we are. Without others to show you what you are not, you become senseless. Relationships of any kind are sacred for they let you experience Who You Truly Are, and who you choose to be.

IMO, it is not 'spiritually weak' to desire a friendship, i'm thinking that you are coming from the teaching that life is suffering. I will tell you know, it does not have to be this way, life can be joyful, guilt-free and a great endevour for your mind and soul. Do not succumb to false teaching, which, even though famous are still based on the illusion.

[chadley]

Enlightener, though many teachings are false or have been twisted from their original truth, this one that Buddha gives is not. Remember, it is not saying that relationships are bad or that pursueing them is spiritually week, that is not implied. It is saying that reliance on them or anything besides self leads to suffering. How many women wait for their night in shining armor to save them, to make their lives better? And, how many Christians are waiting around for Christ to come save them? No one can save you but yourself, and no one can change your life from suffering to joy. It only comes by one's own actions which lead to the discovery of what prevents the internal Christ consciousness from emerging in one's personal reality. Is it not glorious to discover that nothing at all external is needed to rid yourself of unhappiness? This is what Buddha is teaching, that you need nothing, you need do nothing, that you already possess that which you need for eternal bliss and peace inside of you. Now how is that indicating that these are the teachings that life is suffering? ON THE CONTRARY!! It is showing you the path to the love, peace, joy, prosperity and eternal happiness!

I admit, I am not surprised at any resistance to this understanding as most are still working on giving up attachments like fancy cars and diamonds when I am suggesting eventually the ability to let go of all things is required. Now surely you have read enough of my posts to know that I do not come from the teachings of suffering, have you not? I even promote the use of the law of attraction to bring into your life that which you desire. As I have said, is it not in line with the divine intent to be happy in all ways including your material life? Of course it is, we are not meant to suffer. However, the danger exists when the things we bring into our lives, including friends and lovers, become our source of happiness. Our relationships should be as the result of our positive action, not the means to a positive result. Otherwise, the benefit is only temperary.

Chadley.

Amy green ,the bottom line is , do not seek others out of your happiness ,desire for others to share yours with them , then nothing shall be against buddha ,and if you are not able to find yourself happy ,meditate , it is the art of living with urself , a meditator can live alnoe for months together joyously without seeking others

Thanks for your replies - I am clearer now on this issue. I'm a past master at non-attachment to the extent where I'm (maybe too) content with solitude. Thought I should cultivate/seek out like-minded friends (a healthier balance) but was worried about desiring this; now understand this situation.