I give up

[Tigerlily]

Having a strong connection to someone you cannot be with is painful. I got over someone a few months ago, or cthought I cut the chord. And today his energy is back. I have dreams of another who I never met.

I'm fine being alone. I've done so much by myself that I really don't need someone. Big things, like go on vacation alone, eat at a restaurant alone, live alone for years, etc. The smaller alone things I've done myself too. The one living that I miss/worry on Vaca or at work, or anything i do that im out of the house for extended periods the most is my pet. He's like my child.

My spiritual growth continues to evolve and I'm grateful for it. I have so many questions, but again try to do it on my own. Why do I feel tormented by a soul or souls I love but cannot be with and enjoy this life together? Tonight I feel like it's cruel.

[M.Tesla]

Idk sometimes these connections are painful. Its just the way it is. I hope you feel better, just try to focus on manifesting all good things...stay busy... send them love... theyll receive it one way or another and you will feel better cause youll feel thr love too and it helps to know one is still capable of loving.

Just some ideas.

[57tcjc75]

@Tigerlily, I hear you. I watched a praise & worship on Sunday. Last night he(preacher) talked about how in life there are times that one has someone in life they can't hold onto to, or something a person can't hold. But it's like it's meant to be, though not easy.

I'm thinking about this this evening, as there are 2 near me I think in my immediate soul group.. & out of 12, there are only 2 near me. I talk with one of them regularly, another in passing. The rest.. I believe i know & it's meant for our meeting, but if light workers, then not meant to be complete till other side.

What strikes me about this, to me, it's the back & forth of it all.. If there is clarity I can make something else work, usually over time. But during the push/pull, or there is a sense of one is not committed to the friendship, or whatever it is.. it is stressful.
I also think when our closest of souls are not with us, maybe that is a time the earth goes through transition. I see that coming soon enough (from 3D to higher dimensions/ heaven).

The pet sounds like good idea. I've enjoyed the bonding of pets in my lifetime too. Doing what one loves doing or perhaps too during these times of shifting to being more alone (can relate to this also), it's about pulling into the larger soul group/s connection.
I get discouraged too. My close soul connection who lives where I live (same apartment complex), though I don't think we are to hang out daily or talk that often as we are clone like in many ways.. he feels the same as me. My advice to him is same I give myself.
Plus being alone isn't so bad because we aren't really alone.
It's being with someone who is not really wanting to be with us, for whatever reason & maybe not about, "us," at all directly...

I feel God has shown me how this comes together in heaven. I am very pleased at what I feel I see... I have known great love, & to me it's about attaining the highest place in Heaven I can get.
This earth as is is in passing. 3D is passing away.

The dreams are of heaven, forever & with God & the loves I know, doing what I love, no separation forevermore.
The peace is seeing this into completion not of this earth as is.
Hang in there. The clarity of not hanging on when they don't want us to hang on(&/or vice versa) allows for truth to transpire into the dimensions.
Also, can relate the grief work isn't easy. Pets are wonderful!

[TwinFlameHarmonics]

You can be with them if you really want to :) the reason anyone keeps showing up to you is because there is unfinished business with them whether it be karmic or because you have something important to do together. With twin flames they sometimes have spiritual work to do together that can't be done with someone else for example. Sometimes, not all the time. Or maybe it's because you both want to be together in your hearts but your mind is blocking you from being together. Thinking things like you can't be together and that it's okay and you've accepted it, when that's not truly what you feel in your heart is like you blocking you two from being together. You've already accepted that you wont be together, but it's more from pain and losing hope, or thinking that things will always be the same, not working out, and not really from truth. So maybe all it takes is listening to your heart more and clearing any karma that might be involved in the connections too, just in case that is what keeps bringing the energy back to you.

[Inika]

the connection is inner felt? I am guessing.

i'd go there. inward.

what we feel yet dont see on the outside. why not?
doesnt add up.

our physical world is flawed with deception.

i would like to physically spend time with the current sc. he lives in another country and is a very very busy man. i understand you missing the presence.

I try to navigate sc i come by now into integrating them as growing lessons and initiations into a higher purpose when i pass away from this life.

last thing i need is more dissilusionment. last sc showed me how much i lived there.

[Tigerlily]

Yes, the connection is felt inner and very deeply. I don't know why it gets so intense like it did recently, but now I'm OK and just send love out there. It does feel good to do so and lifts the mood. I often wonder when it hits that strong if it is there love I'm feeling too, I don't know.

[FairyCrystal]

I think it's mostly a matter of perspective... Not unlike 'the glass is half empty" vs " the glass is half full".
I think the basic lesson of SMs (each partner is at least a soul mate) is underneath it all. It is about learning to be able to be in an interdependent relationship. Not being needy, not needing someone in your life, being able to do it by yourself AND be happy and fulfilled. Not just making by and doing okayish on your own. But truly being happy with life and being alive and all the things you do and achieve and manifest in life. Being truly joyful on your own.
That's what life is truly about. The problem -esp for women- is that sometimes we feel and live that way until we get in a relationship. Then our focus shifts to the relationship and partner and we make that the center of our universe.
If it then goes wrong we feel abandoned and alone and not happy and unfulfilled.

It really doesn't matter whether you're with a SM or TF in that sense, although with a TF it's even more important to be happy, joyful and fulfilled on your own, not make them the center of your Universe. A TF relationship cannot blossom and be sustained if both or one are still needy and co-dependent.

The shift in perspective is about not thinking the glass is half empty and life is over so to speak. The reason you feel cr@p is because you are not in alignment with what your inner being/HS is thinking and feeling about you and the situation.
Meaning it's just our smaller selves / ego that are feeling this way. It's about having a disconnect, NOT with your SM or TF or significant other, but with yourself!
As soon as you can feel this, realize this and shift to re-establishing the connection with you, you'll feel better again.
The reason you feel so good with someone else is only because then you are in alignment with your HS / inner being. That's what feels so good! Meaning we make our alignment dependent on someone else, being with someone else, which is an external factor. It should be internal... It's an inner job.

So when you give up, you are actually saying you are giving up on yourself. You are giving up on your own ability to get in alignment. You say that you need that other person to be able to be and stay in alignment and to feel good, and since they're gone and not coming back, you feel powerless, because you cannot control what they're doing. So you're now giving up and accepting that you will be miserable forever, all because you are dependent on external factors (= someone else) in order to feel good.
Yes, that feels pretty disempowering and depressing.
Thing is, you can make yourself happy and fulfilled and come into alignment. The one who's keeping you out of it is not the other person, but you. By this 'giving up' and kind of feeling sorry for yourself you give someone else way too much power over you, your life, how you feel.
It's saying "I can only be happy when they are in my life, when they do XYZ" which is total Bee-S. It also means you need to control the other, they got to behave in a specific way in order for you to feel good. One thing they must do is be with you and make you happy.
Doesn't work. YOU got to make YOU happy. Then you can add to that.
In short: co-dependency. Nothing to make a big hairy deal out of in the sense that most people are. But very important to work on it unless you plan to spend the rest of your life feeling powerless and unhappy.

[Thespian]

Hi Tigerlily, I do believe on those days when we feel their energy and connection very strongly, it is their love being sent our way!

Thespian

[Tigerlily]

I often question all this. I think when it hit that strong a few days ago, it just makes it hard to not be with them. When you feel so strongly for another soul. And f he is just sending it, why not drop a hi?
I feel better now and don't feel like giving up. It was just that strong hit that sometimes can feel overwhelming. And if it is love, why get upset that I can't be with them? Why not just take it in as well?
For example, I'll feel it from my cat all of a sudden. And here he comes a few minutes later here he is coming to me, from wherever he is in the house. At least then I can give my cat a big hug and kiss him and tell him I love him. He eats it all up and does his typical cat affection.

I think that is the hardest, knowing I can't give this soul a big hug and a kiss and tell them I love them. I can send it back, but the physical touch is missing and just adds to it.

[1111beings]

I think it's tormenting to be established and not have someone to share it with.

It is cruel!