Holding on too tightly

[Elysium]

I get so tired of holdng on to this story. It makes me wonder, if i simply vanished...would it even matter? I said im over it. I am in some way. But theres still something pulling at me and it pulls my attention to what our story could have been. I guess at this point it seems impossible. I thought i let go but i contacted her again. And got blocked. I dont understand how someone who told me that our relationship was sacred to her could treat me thus way. For what reason does she treat me this way? I dont understand why she just pulled away fron me. I remember i started going through some weird intense awakening, and thats when she left suddenly. I mean she was spiritually open minded. Why would she be put off by me? She never explained anything to me.

I just do not understand this whole situation im in withmy twin flame. Why do twin flames seperate? Why does she come back to me telepathicallybut wontphysically speak to me? Am i deluding myself here with this telepathy thing? Its like i blame my strongest loce feelings on her. Im so tired of this confusion

[Heart]

Why does she come back to me telepathicallybut wontphysically speak to me?

Because the physical is just but a stepping stone to something greater. you are far, far more than what a physical relationship will show you who you are.

to fall in love with her energy is to know about suffering and art of letting go this is the very nature of physical relationships yet you are more than this, far far more

If you treat the physical as a stepping stone you can use it to move yourself through the suffering to the greater you

[Elysium]

Its just the wound ill never forget. What gets me all choked up is that she is such a great person all around. Shes beautiful inside and out..compassionate, understanding, an excellent listener, encourages others. And that im the one she chose to cut off for whatever reason she saw.

Sounds as if your "intense awakening" put the two of you out of step. If you were suddenly enlightened about something (doesn't have to be one of these glorious Buddhist enlightenings) then it would have changed you.

Perhaps she just moved on. Had you made her aware she was your twin flame? Does she hold these same beliefs about eternal marriage? - the recurring separation/reunification cycle? Had you been trying to re-energise the relationship a lot recently which prompted her to break the connection?

♥

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

it's sometimes said that purely loving energy is too powerful to exist within
physical form... it's thought that it would cause a body to vaporize, or explode
due to the 'high vibration' of it. [i don't believe that such a limitation exists.]
if you had remained in that relationship, and it had grown even stronger, it
may be that you'd have exited this physical realm... and perhaps there are
things left here for you to accomplish yet.
your 'telepathic communications' may be with her higher self identity,
taking place beyond the threshold of her recognition/understanding.

[Elysium]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

it's sometimes said that purely loving energy is too powerful to exist within
physical form... it's thought that it would cause a body to vaporize, or explode
due to the 'high vibration' of it. [i don't believe that such a limitation exists.]
if you had remained in that relationship, and it had grown even stronger, it
may be that you'd have exited this physical realm... and perhaps there are
things left here for you to accomplish yet.
your 'telepathic communications' may be with her higher self identity,
taking place beyond the threshold of her recognition/understanding.

Thank you so much Horace. I really, honestly think this is what happened. You know what too? I even told her the reason we couldnt be together is because "i loved her too much" and i felt like i did. It was weird. At the time i said it i had instantly realized i loved her very deeply. Before that moment i saw her as a good friend. Then also at that time she left me.

I read your response early this morning. Ive been digesting it, seeing if it is true for me. When i first read what you said, i felt a release. Like "yes this is what ive been needing to know"

I dont know what the future holds, if ill keep holding on too tightly or if ill learn to let go.

[white-dove]

Originally Posted by Elysium

I get so tired of holdng on to this story. It makes me wonder, if i simply vanished...would it even matter? I said im over it. I am in some way. But theres still something pulling at me and it pulls my attention to what our story could have been. I guess at this point it seems impossible. I thought i let go but i contacted her again. And got blocked. I dont understand how someone who told me that our relationship was sacred to her could treat me thus way. For what reason does she treat me this way? I dont understand why she just pulled away fron me. I remember i started going through some weird intense awakening, and thats when she left suddenly. I mean she was spiritually open minded. Why would she be put off by me? She never explained anything to me.

I just do not understand this whole situation im in withmy twin flame. Why do twin flames seperate? Why does she come back to me telepathicallybut wontphysically speak to me? Am i deluding myself here with this telepathy thing? Its like i blame my strongest loce feelings on her. Im so tired of this confusion

I reckon it was too intense for her. Too scary. She felt too exposed and in danger.

We have all got our baggage from our conditioning, past etc.

I think with such yearning.. of the beautiful scenario that could have been if my TF and I had not been so traumatised, wounded... mistrustful, TERRIFIED. By our past experiences, our childhoods etc. you know...

My TF pulled away from me too. I have suffered for 2 weeks. I felt his intense anger for 2 days then love, love .. more love. But he does not write and he made me promise I would not contact him either.

Now finally I finally find acceptance, of the situation... of myself and him and how things necessarily are (yes I still have my freak-out moments but they are getting fewer and further-between).

When you make your own journey of peace with it. That's how to heal (btw being in nature... by the sea, in the woods... this really helps, like REALLY helps - give yourself space, let the emotions come out.. try to avoid self-blame or blame of her. Recognise that you are going through a major grieving process, and give yourself space for that).

And then... and then.... you leave the path free. What might happen, could happen but YOU MUST LET IT GO FIRST!!!! That's the key. Sigh. So hard.

How are you feeling now?
BTW feel free to share with me also by PM if that helps.

[white-dove]

Originally Posted by Elysium

I get so tired of holdng on to this story. It makes me wonder, if i simply vanished...would it even matter? I said im over it. I am in some way. But theres still something pulling at me and it pulls my attention to what our story could have been. I guess at this point it seems impossible. I thought i let go but i contacted her again. And got blocked. I dont understand how someone who told me that our relationship was sacred to her could treat me thus way. For what reason does she treat me this way? I dont understand why she just pulled away fron me. I remember i started going through some weird intense awakening, and thats when she left suddenly. I mean she was spiritually open minded. Why would she be put off by me? She never explained anything to me.

I just do not understand this whole situation im in withmy twin flame. Why do twin flames seperate? Why does she come back to me telepathicallybut wontphysically speak to me? Am i deluding myself here with this telepathy thing? Its like i blame my strongest loce feelings on her. Im so tired of this confusion

I reckon it was too intense for her. Too scary. She felt too exposed and in danger.

We have all got our baggage from our conditioning, past etc.

I think with such yearning.. of the beautiful scenario that could have been if my TF and I had not been so traumatised, wounded... mistrustful, TERRIFIED. By our past experiences, our childhoods etc. you know...

My TF pulled away from me too. I have suffered for 2 weeks. I felt his intense anger for 2 days then love, love .. more love. But he does not write and made me promise I would not contact him either.

Now finally I finally find acceptance, of the situation... of myself and him and how things necessarily are (yes I still have my freak-out moments but they are getting fewer and further-between). I think I am anxiously/avoidantly attached from childhood and was clinging, panicking... not trusting, terrified of the intense feelings and of dependency and the potential for being hurt (before i just thought that HE was avoidant... but with more self-reflection I was wrong about that, I was panicking and on a 'kami-kaze' mission too!!!)

When you make your own journey of peace with it. That's how to heal (btw being in nature... by the sea, in the woods... this really helps, like REALLY helps - give yourself space, let the emotions come out.. try to avoid self-blame or blame of her. Recognise that you are going through a major grieving process, and give yourself space for that).

And then... and then.... you leave the path free. What might happen, could happen but YOU MUST LET IT GO FIRST!!!! That's the key. Sigh. So hard.

How are you feeling now?
BTW feel free to share with me also by PM if that helps.

[white-dove]

Originally Posted by Elysium

Thank you so much Horace. I really, honestly think this is what happened. You know what too? I even told her the reason we couldnt be together is because "i loved her too much" and i felt like i did. It was weird. At the time i said it i had instantly realized i loved her very deeply. Before that moment i saw her as a good friend. Then also at that time she left me.

I read your response early this morning. Ive been digesting it, seeing if it is true for me. When i first read what you said, i felt a release. Like "yes this is what ive been needing to know"

I dont know what the future holds, if ill keep holding on too tightly or if ill learn to let go.

Horace, I just read your post too. That is really, really helpful!
I was so often wondering why my TF would be giving me a whole bunch of communications through the emotions/telephathy... I could tell exactly what they meant! It was amazing and so beautiful and un-confusing.

Then his daily email would arrive and I'd think 'huh? is that the same person??'

And a part of me - yes I really wondered - perhaps he is literally NOT AWARE of what he is feeling? That part is kind of unconnected from his conscious brain. Wild.

[Universal.Vibe]

Push and pull isn't as dualistic as you think, in reality you are being pulled in two separate directions at once.
Ideally you need to find the middle ground between them.

Hard work I know, but get creative!