I URGENTLY need help in disconnecting from my twin flame

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by white-dove

This means so much, thank you! I am having a little cry and feel like I'm not alone... Yes. I know in his case it is that he has so much self-hate, what he is projecting onto me is not hate of me but rather hate of himself. He is so totally isolated, so traumatized by his experiences of pain, hurt, exclusion by people. No wonder it is intense - I'm getting it all!

I know how he feels about me, under the anger and frustration.. last night I got a tonne of the 'pure love' just pouring off him... which I accept and give back!

I have realised one of the main ways I can deal with this is by whatever comes at me I just psyche back some pure love. It costs me nothing, on the contrary. It's like smiling.

The other way is that I must have connection here on the ground. I need my family, my sister, my close friends. I need to be in nature, with my dog. Just being HERE and CONNECTED. That also protects me.

Your words have meant so much, thank you. The understanding, and relating of your similar experiences, this has helped... and your warnings to be careful. You're right, I'm very sensitive and painfully empathetic and need to learn to protect myself. And not trust tooooo much, or at least take my time to give real trust to people!! Specially those I never met.

Your own suggestions sound wonderful...and you're very welcome!
Be sure to set your own boundaries in spirit regarding the sort of energy and messages you won't accept...that's very important re: the messages as well and I wish I'd done that years ago.

For example, I'll no longer tolerate any messages or undercurrent (unspoken message) of resentment, of casting me as burdensome or unworthy somehow...none of that.
And I basically ignored this for years because I didn't know how to draw my boundaries in this way. Hope this helps.

Much love & light to you!

Peace & blessings
7L

[Goddessa]

Originally Posted by white-dove

Goddessa, oh yes! I just walked by the river and felt this amazing connection with everything. I can feel the energy now, the consciousness.. all around and in every tiny thing. I feel awake and alive, even though in between it's f-ing hurting.

I was walking and knowing that he consciously hates me but subconsciously adores me... I can never write to him again, I promised I would not and i feel his difficulty and pain. There is no way to circumnavigate it, all i would do is make it worse. All I can do for him is return and give the feelings.

On a level I think he 'set me free'... he knew it was destructive for me.

Anyway it's LOVELY to know that this connection will not necessarily end there - that I would be capable of experiencing this again :-)

Can I ask you more about this and your experience or is it too personal to share here?

The effects of my twin flame experience has been an aversion to intimate relationships. Its something I'm aware of and had shelved for later introspection because I felt that there were other more pressing issues which needed to be dealt with (family relationships, my life purpose, my relationship with money, my spirituality etc). I now realise that I can't ignore it. I will PM you and share my story as soon as I get the time. Its a long story.

In the meantime, good luck with everything. The only advice I can give you now is to look at the whole picture and not get to near obsession about trying to figure him out. Take a look at what other issues arise from this connection.

[white-dove]

Originally Posted by Goddessa

The effects of my twin flame experience has been an aversion to intimate relationships. Its something I'm aware of and had shelved for later introspection because I felt that there were other more pressing issues which needed to be dealt with (family relationships, my life purpose, my relationship with money, my spirituality etc). I now realise that I can't ignore it. I will PM you and share my story as soon as I get the time. Its a long story.

In the meantime, good luck with everything. The only advice I can give you now is to look at the whole picture and not get to near obsession about trying to figure him out. Take a look at what other issues arise from this connection.

Yes, thank you! Can't tell you how much this has meant to me, hearing this. Last night I went to see an old friend and we sat up half the night, I told her about someone who encouraged me so much by telling me about their experiences and that the 'twin flame' thing and energy connection with another does not stop there.

She has not got the twin flame thing but is crazy in love with her Buddhist teacher who also desires her... and she's married and so on.. and with tears in her eyes just said 'all I wanted was to feel this connection - it feels good, it can't be wrong!'. And I know this too... these are the words I wrote in my diary last year 'surely something that feels THIS good, cannot be wrong'.

So I told her I think this is what it's about:
We are all craving, CRAVING connection. We miss it, the way our daily lives and society is geared and set up. No wonder we have such strong longing. Then we find someone who channels that energy. We put all our time, all our energy, our OBSESSION into that relationship. That connection, it just feels so wonderful! I've had moments of what must be 'nirvana'. Well that pretty much describes it (I don't mean the sexual stuff though that is amaaaazing, I mean that feeling of being 'held in the light', outside of any space or time, seemingly forever.. the most amazing, beautiful, incredible thing I've ever in my life felt!!!

BUT the connection, though it has to happen, does not have to all be channeled into one person. In fact it shouldn't be... far too dangerous. If only I had known sooner what it was I would have self-protected. I just thought this man was Perfection. The living incarnation of all that was good, generous... all he did was give to me. I did not realise he was a real person with all the jealousies and anger that go with that. I did not self-protect, very much the contrary.

Once the connection is awakened, it won't go away.. but I have to now invest it in all the things around us, and connect with everything. The people, the surroundings, nature, universe...

It's just not that easy!!!!! I am still totally obsessing over him. Last night again no sleep, this time I think he felt I was blocking him (when actually I was just chatting to my friend, though I felt my forehead ache all the while), so he kind of punished me by sending an endless barrage, not of anger but just of his heavy presence, the intense pressure on my forehead, the crushing sensation in my body... by the morning I was aching and had almost not slept. Maybe he was not punishing me really but just really, really suffering. Finally he fell asleep at about 7am my time (1am his) and I got in-between some gentle love waves while he slept, but finally it was peaceful. But then I had to get up and work. Help.

Getting through this bit, it's hard. At least I promised not to contact him so I can't... though I spend a great deal of my time imagining creative ways I could somehow, somehow get in touch with him. But I know there is no way, I know I can't. Sigh.

Goddessa, sorry for the endless message! I would love to hear more of your story, I think it would help me no end. When you've time, and write as much as you like !!!! It helps me a lot to hear it.

[white-dove]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Your own suggestions sound wonderful...and you're very welcome!
Be sure to set your own boundaries in spirit regarding the sort of energy and messages you won't accept...that's very important re: the messages as well and I wish I'd done that years ago.

For example, I'll no longer tolerate any messages or undercurrent (unspoken message) of resentment, of casting me as burdensome or unworthy somehow...none of that.
And I basically ignored this for years because I didn't know how to draw my boundaries in this way. Hope this helps.

Much love & light to you!

Peace & blessings
7L

Thanks for the love and light (I need it!) and kind words.
Thank goodness for you wonderful people here, I don't know what state I'd be in without you

Yes, I know now that I MUST work on my boundaries... this is really, really important. I dissociated nearly all my life, ending last year when this thing happened. Now I'm as defenseless as a child. And so optimistic, so naive! I have to learn to be more mature now.

Thanks for the strategies you've suggested - I now know what I have to do. The journey has only just begun (and I hope to goodness that was the hard bit!!!!)

[IndigoViolet]

Twin flame is somethimg that can go either very good, numb, or worst. It is not something u say controlling emotion then it can done. Recognize YOU are the one with an individuality, that you are a creation of God in the deepest spiritual level and no souls can replace God, or the capital Him.

All the evidence is that he wasn't a twin flame - his soul didn't notch with yours or the result wouldn't be as you describe. Wonderful as you say he is you take a risk with someone mentally unfit. So there's a lesson here. It's best to purge him from your life. Grab at any distraction. Put it down to naivety. Know that you are free to get on with your life.

[white-dove]

Originally Posted by Goddessa

The effects of my twin flame experience has been an aversion to intimate relationships. Its something I'm aware of and had shelved for later introspection because I felt that there were other more pressing issues which needed to be dealt with (family relationships, my life purpose, my relationship with money, my spirituality etc). I now realise that I can't ignore it. I will PM you and share my story as soon as I get the time. Its a long story.

In the meantime, good luck with everything. The only advice I can give you now is to look at the whole picture and not get to near obsession about trying to figure him out. Take a look at what other issues arise from this connection.

It’s good advice, Goddessa

Unfortunately all my life I’ve had an aversion to intimate relationships, and it seemed to me that this amazing relationship (so physical, far more satisfying than any ‘real’ relationship I ever had) had finally got me over my huge reserve and barriers.

I can’t express how hard it is to give it up... especially as the anger lasted only 2 days and then the intense love was back.. if anything even more intense than before!

But I think I must try to block it (this week I again stopped resisting and just let myself enjoy... it also became far more ‘reciprocal’ in that in the lack of email contact I’ve learnt to be more disciplined and intentional with what I send to him. Actually I have a throbbing in my pineal gland (‘third eye’j as I’m not used to contact this way around!

But without the daily emails (the ‘thread in the labyrinth’) and knowing how conscioisly he’s full of anger and self-hate, I can’t help but think it couldbe that this way lies madness. Also of course it’s so easy to become obsessive, look at his pictures, online, etc. etc.

Or .. with a little discipline.. using my new-found control I could just spend wonderful telepathic nights with him and otherwise live as normal? I think I’m strong enough psychologically, but would it be fair on him??

Oh, dilemmas.