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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #21  
Old 12-06-2014, 08:19 AM
annabelle239 annabelle239 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yumi14
I have to agree with what Black Sheep pointed out.

Sometimes people simply feel threatened by things they don't understand. It shuts them down and they react with force or pure rejection. Perhaps they are so afraid of the subject at hand that they feel they may 'catch' it. The thing is, what they don't realize is they won't Catch anything at all and if they opened themselves to a greater understanding of things, they may just grow themselves as well. It doesnt mean they have to agree with other viewpoints; but to open oneself up enough to know that there are indeed different angles at looking at things. Some people are so rigid with their beliefs or viewpoints that they shelter themselves from the unknown and put a brick wall up which becomes impenetrable. . Its threatening to them. So what does one do if they perceive a threat to their own thoughts of what reality is? They, then go in defense mode. They don't know what to do with that information.

I don't think it has anything at all to do with you. It has everything to do with your Mom trying to maintain HER reality of how she sees things.

Its sad, tho. Because its not going to hurt her to sit down and truly listen to you and your experiences and to embrace them for what they are. It hurts. I know it hurts. Maybe someday down the road she will be capable of lowering down that wall she has up and open herself up to listening to you. Until then, I would distance yourself a little. Don't stop talking to her, but guard your heart with the things you bring up.

Hang in there. And please, do share here on the forums. I think this is a pretty safe place to open yourself up to. There are people here who will embrace your experiences :). Hugs

I'm truly convinced she thinks i'm psycho and won't move on. Although really,i think i've been healing at an authentic pace. Feeling my feelings,while using them to transform,express,be creative and still being logical enough to work on functioning and doing the practical things in life. I don't think i've moved on too fast. Nor do i think i'm moving on too slow. My very practical friend i work with who is very smart with science and went to medical school and has doctor husband believes in this stuff and i even got her intrigued showing her a near death stories website. She was getting quite immersed reading some of the stories. I appreciate that she can be open to things,things even i wasn't sure about before,and is still very practical,much more so then me.

i suppose i shouldnt be surprised by my mother. she got angry at me few years ago when i would start talking about positivity and law of attraction stuff. at first,tolerating and calling me crazy but then getting very annoyed by it. i just thought the ADC stuff she might find comforting since she lost her mother,brother,and father in a few year span.
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  #22  
Old 12-06-2014, 08:23 AM
annabelle239 annabelle239 is offline
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Location: United States
Posts: 790
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Visitor
People who respond with tension (anger, insults, put downs, etc) are scared people.
They fear loss, or further loss, of an investment (ideals, beliefs, hopes, expectations, etc).
The best way to deal with it is to simply see these people as scared/fearful and they themselves do not know how to deal with it.
Approach and respond to them as you would to a scared person - gently, softly, reassuring, listening, and never take any of their tension upon yourself.

In times of grief and loss, there are several stages one goes through before the last stage - acceptance. Anger and blaming is an earlier stage.
I suggest you have a read about this and then you can deal better with yourself and others through the grieving period (which is usually about 3 months).

Here is a Link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model
Yeah,that is smart. I need to do that next time,just see them that way and respond that way. I do feel bad a little.
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  #23  
Old 12-06-2014, 08:33 AM
annabelle239 annabelle239 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyTerra
I am so glad you have a friend to help you through this time. It is very difficult to lose a Beloved FurBaby. My FurBabies are just like my own Children.

How comforting it must have been when your Kitty came to visit you.

May I ask about the experience? If so--how did your Kitty communicate with you?
It was very comforting especially because this was the first one to happen when I was in a good mood. I had worried if i healed enough and seemed well,if she would see i'm ok and not feel the need to communicate. Since,i was in a good mood,and having a good day,it was like the icing on the cake of a great day,like she was saying,even on your good days,i'm here. Since my mood was good,the ADC occured and i felt more focused during it that it literally felt so unexpected like i got scared for a minute and was like do i have ghost. then was like "her name." and just knew it was her. and felt happy. the ADC was my good condition computer that was charged and even charging while i used it flicked off suddenly like a TV would if someone had shut it off. It was like a plug was pulled out. I had to re-start it. This only happened once when she did it before when i was very emotional and had just talked about how upset i was that she gone,so very shortly after name was mentioned. Both times same incident. Just very different moods. The mood of this recent one,i had actually set the intention the night before that i would hear from her again before the month was over. And,lo and behold,it took less then 24 hours. I don't watch TV at all but use my computer quite a bit so it's natural she would use that as communication vessel. I sometimes felt while alive she would think i was on the computer too much. lol. This ADC was like she was saying,hey,i'm still here in a friendly way so i feel good. Actually,that's the feeling all the ADC's from here have had,like she's just saying hey,it's ok,i'm still here.
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  #24  
Old 12-06-2014, 02:12 PM
LadyTerra
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by annabelle239
It was very comforting especially because this was the first one to happen when I was in a good mood. I had worried if i healed enough and seemed well,if she would see i'm ok and not feel the need to communicate. Since,i was in a good mood,and having a good day,it was like the icing on the cake of a great day,like she was saying,even on your good days,i'm here. Since my mood was good,the ADC occured and i felt more focused during it that it literally felt so unexpected like i got scared for a minute and was like do i have ghost. then was like "her name." and just knew it was her. and felt happy. the ADC was my good condition computer that was charged and even charging while i used it flicked off suddenly like a TV would if someone had shut it off. It was like a plug was pulled out. I had to re-start it. This only happened once when she did it before when i was very emotional and had just talked about how upset i was that she gone,so very shortly after name was mentioned. Both times same incident. Just very different moods. The mood of this recent one,i had actually set the intention the night before that i would hear from her again before the month was over. And,lo and behold,it took less then 24 hours. I don't watch TV at all but use my computer quite a bit so it's natural she would use that as communication vessel. I sometimes felt while alive she would think i was on the computer too much. lol. This ADC was like she was saying,hey,i'm still here in a friendly way so i feel good. Actually,that's the feeling all the ADC's from here have had,like she's just saying hey,it's ok,i'm still here.


Oh what a wonderful experience...thank you for sharing it!

It is (also) a confirmation that you can call on her and connect. You have a wonderful Gift and it is wonderful to see what can be accomplished when we remain open to all the possibilities!

IMHO--she will continue to watch-over you and be with you (always).
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  #25  
Old 12-06-2014, 02:19 PM
elisi
Posts: n/a
 
there's also a very subtle way of slamming your beliefs. if a person keeps preaching THEIR beliefs as if it's the only truth, you know they're really saying they don't believe in yours.

someone on this board said it's all good IF one starts off by say 'this is what i think' or 'this is my opinion'.
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  #26  
Old 12-06-2014, 02:25 PM
LadyTerra
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by annabelle239
Yeah,she was really projecting. This was an excellent example of that spiritual truth. The fact that she was projecting,really does just make me feel bad now. But,what can i do.


IMHO...there is really nothing we can do about others--they must find there own way--in their own time.

What I do is work hard to be the best that I can be and abide by my principles and forgive others (and myself) when we inevitably fall a bit short.

We are only human and sometimes we can travel with others (for a time) when our paths take us in a similar direction and then there are times when our journey takes us in different directions. The best situation (to my way of thinking) is when we are able to wish the other well and part company in a loving and considerate way. However--because of basic human nature--unfortunately--this may not always be possible--but I (for one) do try.
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  #27  
Old 12-06-2014, 02:32 PM
LadyTerra
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by elisi
there's also a very subtle way of slamming your beliefs. if a person keeps preaching THEIR beliefs as if it's the only truth, you know they're really saying they don't believe in yours.

someone on this board said it's all good IF one starts off by say 'this is what i think' or 'this is my opinion'.


I agree.

I think it is (also) helpful when we thank the other person for sharing their perspective...especially if we hold a different one.

IMHO--circular arguments are futile and sometimes it is best to agree to disagree. Unfortunately--some people feel differently--as if they have a right to keep forcing the issue.

What is your view...Elisi?

Last edited by LadyTerra : 12-06-2014 at 03:39 PM.
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  #28  
Old 12-06-2014, 03:25 PM
elisi
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyTerra
I agree.

I think it is (also) helpful when we thank the other person for sharing their perspective...especially if we hold a different one.

IMHO--circular arguments are futile and sometimes it is best to agree to disagree. Unfortunately--some people feel differently--as if they have a right to keep forcing the issue.

What is you view...Elisi?

i agree with you. i try to make sure i present my words as 'my opinion' although i may not have done that. the only time i get irritated is when the person presents like their truth is the only way and you are less than if you don't think the same way. then i guess i can be a pain in the butt. :)
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  #29  
Old 12-06-2014, 03:40 PM
LadyTerra
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by elisi
i agree with you. i try to make sure i present my words as 'my opinion' although i may not have done that. the only time i get irritated is when the person presents like their truth is the only way and you are less than if you don't think the same way. then i guess i can be a pain in the butt. :)


LOL...me--too...until I remember that wonderful "Ignore List" option.
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  #30  
Old 13-06-2014, 12:09 AM
Tobi Tobi is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 6,513
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I can understand how this reaction must have hurt you, coming on top of such lovely, positive experiences as your recent ADC!

Almost everyone I know in my personal life does not have any experiences like the ones I have, and does not believe in a world beyond, life after death, etc. I probably wouldn't either -except that I had things happen which showed me for sure. (as you have had)
Those people, so far, have not had those things happen, obviously. But for all I know, they might, tonight....next week....who is to say?

Although I am happy to be very open about my experiences, and if asked, or in the right context, will gladly talk about the events which changed my life and viewpoint dramatically....when I am with those people I don't mention anything, unless the topic of conversation comes around to it.
I am so very lucky in that, if by any chance, the topic gets mentioned, and I briefly say that I have had ADCs, people who don't believe or know, will still be polite. What they think of me, or whisper to each other when I've gone....lol....I have no idea!

But it must be so much harder to receive rude or harsh comments, especially from a close family member. Especially when you are still processing the passing of loved ones.
I do get 'argument and discussion' from my brother, if the topic comes up however, as he does not believe in such things one little bit. Although he is a mathematician, and knows there are many dimensions, he does not think living Souls can possibly be multi-dimensional, and certainly does not believe in life after death.
We debate awhile, but I don't labour the point, and agree to differ, as only personal experience changed me -not someone telling me what happened to them. So I completely understand his viewpoint.

Strangely, being related to someone doesn't always mean you see eye-to-eye, or can discuss every topic which means something to you, with them. All we can do is have a tolerance, respect for our own state of mind, and their singular viewpoint, and try to be good acquaintances, even if 'real friends who can talk about anything' is impossible. Sometimes, it's best to keep a relationship a slightly more distant one, with kind thoughts to the person, and a visit every week/two weeks.
A big hug without words can often work miracles even with people who cannot reconcile their viewpoints. So can laughter.

One good thing....there is always someone who will understand on here.
Blessings,
Tobi.
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