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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #11  
Old 09-06-2018, 01:47 AM
lunapixie lunapixie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldlf16
It's also pretty normal to deny a connection (whatever you call it) when you're rejected and enraged. That's why I asked if he had been to that place of anger before. I'd be curious to see if it melts away. I mean mine isn't really a love story, more a weird story, with love involved. I had a recent side "love" story (no cheating or affair, but mutual, intense) and it was nooottthing like this. No drama. No jealousy. No weird stuff. No triggering. It's faded over years, instead of growing. It didn't take up my every though. There wasn't hearing his voice in my sleep. So different.

Regarding the "running", just because he didn't get divorced overnight doesn't mean he was shunning her. She started something brand new!? Not even history or obligations, just tied up to another? I think that's classic avoidance.

Rejection and abandonment seem to be big themes on the TF journey. Perhaps she felt both. None of us can know for sure. And some people, when they feel rejected and abandoned, tend to look for a band-aid relationship to try to cover up their pain. That was never my case but I can understand how she probably thought that moving on swiftly was her best bet of freeing herself from something she too didn’t understand and probably didn’t want to be a part of since the man she loved was not in a place where he could make any kind of decision that would honor and value her as she deserves to be loved and valued.
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  #12  
Old 09-06-2018, 02:44 AM
starstar starstar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lunapixie
No offense, but I have been everywhere he is at and felt everything he is feeling. You cannot and will never be able to understand where I’m coming from because you don’t know what it feels like to live in this... situation like the rest of us do.

But you could be right on one thing, maybe he just had an affair. And you know what, I hope that’s all. I hope that he was indeed mistaken and they are not twins. I hope that he moves on from this and returns to his family and leaves all this behind. However, if theirs is a true twin flame connection, I will stand by my previous post. There is no end to this.

You can’t know what you don’t know, by the way. And when it comes to this section of the forums, it’s amusing to see people offering advice on things which they have absolutely zero experience in.

Anyway, onward we all go. Let’s see what’s next.

I wish OP the best. Hopefully, his isn’t a twin flame connection.

Just because you cant get over someone doesnt make you a twin flame.
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  #13  
Old 09-06-2018, 06:05 AM
Lorelyen
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunapixie
No offense, but I have been everywhere he is at and felt everything he is feeling. You cannot and will never be able to understand where I’m coming from because you don’t know what it feels like to live in this... situation like the rest of us do.
No offence taken though I smile ruefully at your claim that I'm not part of a privileged community that has felt emotional pain. That I don't know what it's like... Sorry to disarm you but I do know. Of course I can't know the exact quality of someone else's pain simply because it's impossible to experience someone else's experiences. If I told you I had a headache there's no way you could know exactly what my headache is like. Sad to say that's how it is.

It could be that facing emotional pain/anguish at a younger age I was able to cope; have more things to turn to, shoulders to cry on and kindly people who could impart at least some wisdom. I learned. One thing I learned was that it IS possible to bounce back; that I might as well face that I could never own someone so if they leave me, hurt as I may be I have to cut my losses. As CaliLove said in another thread, there are plenty fish in the sea. Another thing I learned is that people own their emotions. They can't blame others for what they feel.


Quote:
But you could be right on one thing, maybe he just had an affair. And you know what, I hope that’s all. I hope that he was indeed mistaken and they are not twins. I hope that he moves on from this and returns to his family and leaves all this behind. However, if theirs is a true twin flame connection, I will stand by my previous post. There is no end to this.
And you would be right. If it is one of those very rare twin bonds it won't end.

Quote:
You can’t know what you don’t know, by the way. And when it comes to this section of the forums, it’s amusing to see people offering advice on things which they have absolutely zero experience in.
You see, you're doing in again. There are extremely few people in the world who meet the requirements of twin flames. You may be one. I can't know. I take your word for it. But that doesn't mean others haven't experienced deeply fulfilling intimate relationships. Remember, twin flames is a belief not an absolute fact. I know of a few couples who have happily spent lifetimes together. Are they twin flames? Are they even bothered that they might be? Answer: no. There is no one else here who has had exactly your experiences, nor mine. The only hope is that they can imagine from similarities- because the mechanisms behind emotions are the same for all of us. However, our interpretations of pain and pleasure are always our own.


Quote:
Anyway, onward we all go. Let’s see what’s next.

I wish OP the best. Hopefully, his isn’t a twin flame connection.

Yup, I'll shut up on this one now. It's good to be neutral sometimes!

NEXT...!


Last edited by Lorelyen : 09-06-2018 at 09:47 AM. Reason: more focused response
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  #14  
Old 09-06-2018, 01:33 PM
Inika Inika is offline
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He said it's not a TF connection. Nor do 'angel cards' verify such a thing. Expectations unmet lead to lots of anger at times. She left a marriage. he didnt and she moved on.

An affair on their spouses couldnt only be because of lust and horny feels. it had to be valued as a spiritual tf connection to excuse it.

the signs and syncs lead him nowhere. Following leads outside of the self that caused deception and disappointment. It didnt turn out as he had hoped.

'im trapped in a loveless marriage' -----------really now?

spineless coward. What will i read next. Your wife holds you to gun point?
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  #15  
Old 09-06-2018, 05:01 PM
Tuesday Tuesday is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inika

'im trapped in a loveless marriage' -----------really now?

spineless coward. What will i read next. Your wife holds you to gun point?

For some reason you dont seem To understand emotional and mental attachment To a person Or situation. Is not as easy To leave as An outsider might think. Although i think Kids are not good enough reason To stay In a marriage you dont enjoy yourself. Kids get over their parents separating. Instead living In a toxic environment where the parents dont love each other, that screws them up.

With rest of your message i think i agree on.
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  #16  
Old 09-06-2018, 08:17 PM
Inika Inika is offline
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You have no clue what I understand. Being attached is an unhealthy excuse for an affair, same as a tf claim
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  #17  
Old 09-06-2018, 08:42 PM
Lorelyen
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuesday
For some reason you dont seem To understand emotional and mental attachment To a person Or situation. Is not as easy To leave as An outsider might think. Although i think Kids are not good enough reason To stay In a marriage you dont enjoy yourself. Kids get over their parents separating. Instead living In a toxic environment where the parents dont love each other, that screws them up.

With rest of your message i think i agree on.

And you don't seem to understand the emotional and mental attachment kids have to their parents and how deserting them can be seriously disorienting. You don't even know these kids ages.

I mean...do you think you have a judgemental monopoly on what people should and shouldn't understand? People come on here with this superior attitude as if they're the only ones who know about the many shades of intimate relationships and can lecture others....

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  #18  
Old 09-06-2018, 11:46 PM
lunapixie lunapixie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorelyen
And you don't seem to understand the emotional and mental attachment kids have to their parents and how deserting them can be seriously disorienting. You don't even know these kids ages.

I mean...do you think you have a judgemental monopoly on what people should and shouldn't understand? People come on here with this superior attitude as if they're the only ones who know about the many shades of intimate relationships and can lecture others....


You have often called people’s twins their “target.” And those of us on this path have to accept your view as such, as the view of someone who knows not what they are delving into. You judge us and condemn us, and yet, you have so much compassion for children who are at present being subjected to a father who no longer loves their mother and is staying in that marriage purely out of obligation?

Once, many years ago, long before I realized that I was in this TF thing, I was already going through the roller coaster after having met my twin online and not being able to understand why I couldn’t get him out of my mind. At that time I was separated from my husband but still living in the same house because I believed that our young child needed to at least have some memories of both parents living together.

During one of my many moments of despair due to my situation, and because I couldn’t stop longing for the unknown man from the Internet, I went to a park to cry in peace. I parked my car and just sat there, crying my eyes out because I couldn’t see a way out of my predicament. I had a job at the time but not enough money to move out. And what would become of my child? There were so many variables at play and I felt desperate and lost.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw an elderly man leaning against his car. He slowly started to walk with the assistance of a walking stick. For some reason, I couldn’t stop watching him slowly walk a few steps away from his car and then make an enormous effort to walk back to his car. I decided to get out of my car and strike up a conversation with him. To this day, I still don’t know what made me do that.

I told him everything. About my marriage, my separation, about this stranger from the Internet with whom I felt the most profound connection I had ever felt to anyone, I told him about my lack of money and my fear that, if I left home and got a divorce, my child would suffer.

The man then told me his story. He was in his 70s and suffering from lung cancer. He knew that he would die soon but he still made the effort to go for a “walk” in the park. He told me about his loveless marriage in which he had only stayed in because they had four young children. He said that at around five years into that union he knew that he didn’t love his wife and that she had never loved him. But he chose to stay for the children. He wanted to be a good, decent man. He wanted to provide for his wife and children even if that meant giving up on any possibility of happiness for himself. So he stayed.

But as soon as the last of their children went to college, his wife immediately took on a lover and filed for divorce citing the fact that she had never loved him. She also took most of their possessions with her, including a brand-new condo where she lived with her lover, which my park friend paid for. You see, even after all he had gone through, he was still trying very hard to do the right thing. Even while she also bought a brand new car with his money since she had never worked a day in her life.

I know that many people will say that she too had paid her dues in that marriage and that she deserved her portion of his assets. But it wasn’t just the fact that she took all the money. It was the profound callousness with which she pretty much told him that the only reason she was ever with him was because of his money. Obviously, I only heard one side of the story and it’s hard to know if he was telling me the entire truth. But the truth is a funny thing... you feel it in your heart when someone is being truthful with you.

So my park friend told me that he had lived a life of sacrifice and sadness. And now it was too late because he was dying. He told me to not make the same mistake that he had made.

To make another very long story short, within six months I had moved out of that house, got a formal divorce, and was landing at an airport where my twin lived to meet him for the first time. I spent my 41st birthday with my twin. And I’m beyond happy to say that my child has benefited so much from all my choices. Everyone around us is astounded by the fact that we became much better parents after our divorce. My son has become an incredible human being all around. The other day I asked him if my leaving had negatively impacted him in any way. He said that it had not, not at all. That his only fear as a little boy years ago when all this was happening was that he wouldn’t be able to continue seeing one of his parents and, that since that never happened, he didn’t really care about our divorce. Throughout my son’s school career his father and I heard many times from school teachers and other school officials that they had never seen a divorced couple who worked as such a great team as we do. They were literally incredulous because the norm is for them to see full on fights between divorced couples who go to school functions together.

In any case, no one is suggesting that OP should abandon his children. What we are suggesting is that we all teach our children by example. What good is a father who loves and respects himself so little as to live a complete lie? What is that telling the children? What place does truth and raw honesty hold on all this? What about the fact that they all know and witness a loveless marriage? What will those things create for them in their own future relationships? I believe that these are very valid questions that we should all ask ourselves.

Nothing has been easy for me since I met that man in the park. But I firmly believe that by living my truth, everyone around me has benefited greatly.

But to each their own.

Just my thoughts on this matter....
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  #19  
Old 10-06-2018, 12:12 AM
Ariaecheflame Ariaecheflame is offline
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There are so many possible outcomes to individual scenarios... In some cases - perhaps the experience catalyses the realisation that a marriage isn't salvageable and there is no point dragging out the suffering for everybody... I was the child of unhappy parents who stayed together... I'm OK now but it was a bit of a pain in the butt When I was growing up.
Divorce is painful for kids... And so is witnessing parents who are unhappy together.

I don't agree with cheating through regardless of what connection or label one puts on things. If I was in a similar situation I would at least try my best to be respectful of everyone - cheating and lieing isn't a great example to kids.

In my case my mirror served as a catalyst to awaken me and it also served to save and strengthen my relationship with my then partner turned husband.
My husband and I had our shared path set and my awakening served to strengthen our bond.

We have always quite openly talked about my experience with the catalyst and we generally are quite open about connections we experience in general... Honesty has been a good policy for us... I won't lie though... There were times which we called it quits... It was quite a challenge - but in our case we worked it out... That was OUR path together - and that has also been the best outcome for OUR family unit.

With everything I say though... I can see both sides but I have to agree with Lorelyn on one thing... I don't like it when people use labels as excuses to cheat...
What of the tables were turned? How would it feel?
There should be a more responsible and respectful way to leave an unsalvagable marriage...
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  #20  
Old 10-06-2018, 01:03 AM
Khalli Khalli is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emeraldheart
There should be a more responsible and respectful way to leave an unsalvagable marriage...

There is and can be done without too much drama if you truly care about the person you are leaving. Like my ex and I decided to still be on friendly terms even though we both know that we are on different paths and our shared one is over.
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