Life support system

[ellespirit]

Hi, I recently had a discussion with a friend who had advised his grandfather had, had a stroke and was on life support for some months. He had the responsibilty of the decision to turn off the machine. He has since then been carrying the guilt of feeling he is responsible for his grandfathers death.

My understanding, which could be wrong so please enlighten me... Is that his grandfather's soul left with his stroke, and the life support machine was just keeping his physical body oxygenated. When the machine came off his physical body completed the process commenced with the stroke.

Your thoughts please?

I would agree with your understanding.

And I would advise your friend to try to discard his feelings of guilt.
They will not serve him in the long run.
Death is a part of life and he did not have the power to bring his grandfather back.

It is an awful thing to go through. I hope he starts to feel better.

[ellespirit]

Thank you, i just like to double check my facts.

[psychoslice]

It sounds like the doctor in charge didn't explain things right to your friend, he should of told him that she was brain dead, and that it was only the blood pumping through the body because of the machine that was making it look as though she was alive.

Originally Posted by ellespirit

My understanding, which could be wrong so please enlighten me... Is that his grandfather's soul left with his stroke, and the life support machine was just keeping his physical body oxygenated. When the machine came off his physical body completed the process commenced with the stroke.
Your thoughts please?

Death has been going on for millions of years... it's our machines and our beliefs that keep getting in the way..... guilt in this case is silly....

[Native spirit]

Your friend should not carry the guilt his grandfather would not want him to .the doctors should have explained that the machine was keeping him breathing.the best thing he could do for his grandfather was to turn off the machines

Namaste

[Kaere]

Guilt is a hard thing to let go of, especially in cases like this. It's neither silly nor unexpected. It's a valid feeling considering the circumstances.

Please remind your friend to be gentle with himself and that it was not his fault that his grandfather died. I would echo missrachel300's comments and perhaps add that your friend might consider talking to someone like a counsellor or priest who deals with funerals and bereaved families.

Originally Posted by Kaere

Guilt is a hard thing to let go of, especially in cases like this. It's neither silly nor unexpected. It's a valid feeling considering the circumstances.

Please remind your friend to be gentle with himself and that it was not his fault that his grandfather died. I would echo missrachel300's comments and perhaps add that your friend might consider talking to someone like a counsellor or priest who deals with funerals and bereaved families.

It's culturally induced and silly since it is so.... we've gotten used to a poor standard of experience over the years in regard to our feelings about dying... many older cultures viewed death as both normal and common... Death now happens in hospitals, it used to happen in ones home, or cave, or encampment... death is both sad and yet freeing... it's the thing that we do next after "being here"... :^)

[Kaere]

I'm sorry Steven but I do not believe that what anyone feels, for whatever circumstance, is silly. They are real feelings and to me, it would be incredibly hurtful for someone to call my feelings 'silly'... culturally induced or not, it doesn't matter. They are still there and are being experienced by a real person, not a concept.

[psychoslice]

No it doesn't feel silly at the time, but after the dust has settled you can feel silly, I know that I felt stupid after trying to keep my mother alive, when she was choking to death, which I found out later was part of the dieing prosses. I kept the nurse sucking out fluid which only made her last longer in the dieing prosses. If I knew what was happening I would have just let her die, but no one told me as this was happening, so yea, stupid doctors also.