I am so alone

[Grace222]

MysticRose37,

I know a bit of time has passed since your original post and you likely have picked yourself up and forged forward (well, because life asks us to). Just wanted to mention this - the souls of your kids chose you to be their mother before being born. Whatever plays out in future, realize that. We never grasp the soul contracts we have with each other, but I do wonder if this is to help you learn your own worth and to become empowered within yourself. Yes, there are external matters we are not able to control, but there are those bits we can. You sound like a wonderful, warm, empathic person. To me, it just sounds like you are in a stage of believing in/recovering your worth (no matter what anyone around you says, even your children who are parroting the other parent) - don't dim your light for anyone.

A book comes to mind that you may be interested in: "The Secret Pathway to Healing" by Linda Drake. In it, she lists the major issues or lessons we as souls come into life to work through. She includes cases she's worked with using current/past life regressions, reiki, and channeling the collective Abraham to determine each person's challenge(s) so that they could be aware and to better navigate. Interesting read! Was lucky enough to catch her give a talk once.

Also, you may have already, but maybe look up books about narcissism or toxic relationships and how to draw boundaries (that's empowering). "Dodging Energy Vampires" by Christine Northrup and "In Sheep's Clothing" by George K. Simon come to mind. But there is also plenty of free material available about boundaries and toxic dynamics (and how to handle them) on the web - can look at youtube. And affirmations to build yourself up. You are worthy and deserving of love and dignity.

One last thing, along with affirmations (just put sticky notes around with them on it - I'm not consistent with repeating them so that's what I do), there's blessing yourself. Actually got this idea from youtube and love doing it.. Simply picture a ball of energy between your hands and put in it what you would like (patience, supportive people to come your way, strength, joy, peace, etc.) and then state "I bless myself with pure love and light. I bless myself with purified source energy." I say it 3 times, but I'm sure once is fine (just like utilizing the power of 3). Then, I move this wonderful energetic blessing ball into my chest, into my heart space.

Best wishes to you,

Grace

[Mysticrose37]

Thank you Grace222
I will definitely look into those books.
Incredibly my ex-husband has just sent an apology. Something he very rarely ever does. I took your words to heart about my children's connection. So today I didn't respond to him. I knew with certainty you were right. My girls know I love them. I know now he was toxic but I have a new found strength. No matter what happens they will be part of me. So again thank you.

[Mysticrose37]

Badcopyinc.. I really listened to what you had to say. I have decided to start visualising they are here. I moved four hours away to be closer to them. So thank you. I really appreciated your message. I am happy things worked out for you.