"Out Of the Closet"

I know I haven't posted in a LONG time and now I'm asking for help, but I honestly don't know who or where else to ask this.

I've been a lot more open about my spirituality lately...like the last couple of years and more so the last 6 months or so, and by open I mean NOT hiding it. I've never, nor do I care to ever shove my sprituality in anyone's face.

I also try not to lable myself because I kind of am open to anything, as long as I deem it to be morally sound and ethical. But I do tend to hang out with and relate best to "pagans", so people lable me as such, which, for the most part, I don't mind, but the other day my mother-in-law said something about me being pagan and it kind of made me feel.... wierd. She's a pretty open minded person and would never actually make me feel bad or call me evil or anything like that, but I just can't shake this bizzar feeling I have about it. Then, to try to ease my own tension, I was relaying the story to my sister in law as kind of a joke, ha ha, but then she got all quiet and "weird"<----which is weird because she's spent a lot of time leaning about witchcraft and pagan type things.

When my mother in law asked the question "....because you're pagan?" I just shrugged and was like" uhm...yeah...."

Anyhow now I'm sitting here feeling panicky and I want to call them and say "you know I don't practice witchcraft.....I just like to read about it " or "I'm not really pagan I'm just open!" Now...this is not because I feel ashamed...well it might be...but I guess it's that I feel vulnerable now, and like I've opened up a piece of myself that I used to like to keep between myself and I and Spirit.

Anyhow I can't shake this feeling and meditation and relaxation and smudging has not helped. I wish I could take it all back and just go back to being silent about my faith.

Any insights would be most helpful!
Thank you all so much!

just be yourself time is a great healer and your faith will win through

[Silver]

Hmm. What did your mil say in regards to your being pagan? Was she seeming to insinuate something about it or?

It would seem there is some sort of question between all of you about it, so it wouldn't hurt some time when you're all in a casual mood to just say, hey, you know what, I don't really practice witchcraft or do spells or any of that, I'm just interested in it, and you could say to your sil hey, I thought you were sort of into it, too (as in just interested like you are). It can be handled casually without much muss and fuss. It's too awkward to just let it be for you, I don't think it'll turn out to be any big deal, as long as you're open about just being curious and read about it not practice really.

Ugh I typed up a response but then got logged out and lost it.
Anyhow thank you both for the reply!

I think things are fine nothing was really said or has been said.

I realized what I was feeling weird about was that since they've labled me, I've been really worried that they're not going to see me as more than that. Like my sil was suprised that I knew when Lent started! Like I couldn't possible know.

Anyhow I'm over it now and I think that nothing will come of it.
Only time will tell I guess.

[Silver]

{10 days ago}>Anyhow now I'm sitting here feeling panicky...

{today}>Anyhow I'm over it now and I think that nothing will come of it.
Only time will tell I guess.

It's funny how a really bad feeling comes over a person, then sometimes, before you know it, it just dissipates and disappears. Cool.