Near death & turning point in my spiritual life

I would like to share a little story with you and I hopefully won't go in to too much detail and make it so long.

In late 2000 I had somehow contracted Chicken Pox (I was 22 years old) I had two weeks off work and i was scrathcing and itching, they healed and I returned to work. 2 days into work I felt really bad and collapsed I moved back to my parents place (probably wasnt the best move) as I knew something was terribly wrong. I was very ill and our family doctor had no idea what was wrong. I had become so weak that I could not talk, eat or walk I literally sat in a chair all day till someone carried me to bed. Anyway 2 months had passed and I had lost 25kg.

The doctor Finally refered me to a neurologist and he found that I had Encephalitis and another disease that was eating through my spinal colum at the base of my brain (no idea the name). By this time my vison had gone and I was seeing cross eyed, my reflexes had also given up and I was taking moon walk type steps with the shakes Haha. I was having halucinations and I knew the end was near, still not eating or talking I used to sit and cry wondering why I was not in hospital, even though I could not ask. I was living on Panadol and black tea.

I finally was able to get out one word " Hospital" and my mother (very simple family) was horrified at the realisation that it is where I should be. The doctor came to the house on the Friday evening and I remember him saying " you wont be able to get him in now, its the weekend - If he is still alive on Monday - try then" That night I prayed many times to God. I was too weak to care but I asked that he would show mercy and after 3 months finally take me and not put my family though any more of this. I started to gain strength from the next day and was ok in two weeks.

I was so happy and saw everything in a different way, I loved everyone and everything untill one day I could not stop crying. There was a dull feeling inside and it was tearing me apart, shrieks of laughter followed by intense sobbing, I was very confused and literally did not know which way to turn. I was diagnosed with Cronic Depression. Depression I believe is one of the scariest thing you can deal with - the absolute confusion of you mind it is terrifying. I was on one of the strongest pills available and It was working so I started to take myself off. Shortly after I had an argument with my father over something stupid and he told me to leave his house as I'm no longer wanted there (I think the pressure of the past 4 months was getitng to him) I was in tears all the way home and decided then and there to take my own life. I was doing 160KM on the freeway and was going to hit the rock cliffs head on. My girlfriend called me on the mobile and she sensed somthing was wrong, she kept me on the phone till I got home and I was so angry with her - I got home and went to sleep.

Anyway I'm sorry it was rather long, however tis is the Readers Digest version haha. Its 6-7 years later and I see things differently. I still don't know all the details of the time as I suffered memory loss. It has taken some time to remember friends names and details. I am also I tuch Dislexic as I type words with letters around the wrong way and I sometimes talk with swapping two letters from two words Ie: If I say the Cat Ran - I could say the Rat Can. haha.

Looking back I think during that time, what was keeping me strong enough to live were spirits, Im sure they were around me when I was alone, someone was there offering me support and it wasnt a physical being. I want to be hypnotised one day so I can remember all the details as I want to publish a book for people to understand what is like to go through such a thing. However I am scared at reliving the experience.

Ok so that's it , I thank you for reading this very personal story and I would valure your comment.

Love and God Bless.

Richie

Thanks for sharing your story Richie. I used to be suicidal in my younger days, due to being a drunk. And yes, I was so bad that I really was a drunk. I would wake up at 3 AM with the shakes so bad I'd need 2-3 stiff drinks so I could get back to sleep. I agree that the depression at least seems worse than the underlaying causes. Congratulations, and continued success.

John

Hi John,

I did read about your experiences in another post and I'm sorry to hear about that. Good to see we can over come these hurdles.

All teh best,

Richie

Originally Posted by Richie

Hi John,

I did read about your experiences in another post and I'm sorry to hear about that. Good to see we can over come these hurdles.

All the best,

Richie

I agree, whatever we can overcome and survive only makes us stronger. It's simply differnt ways of growing both personally and spiritually.

John

[Emmalevine]

Well done on getting through your experiences Richie, and you too John. I agree with yours and John's comments - these things can help us grow spiritually. I was also very suidical when I was younger. I never got as far as actually attempting it but I was in a very dark place and I made the decision to die. I also believe that spirits were around me and showing me the way forward, as I don't really know how I got through it. I had a wonderful counsellor who I believe I was meant to meet.
I believe that all experiences, good or bad, guide us to the ultimate reality, which is love. Thanks for sharing them.