I remember when I wanted *this person* soooooo badly!

[hitch]

And now, it’s just the opposite.

Having been through this for over 3 years now and manifesting them when I was a completely different person, I can’t accept this.

To think about the situation, it feels dark and heavy. My heart sinks into my chest and I feel unseen and small. Immediately, I feel drained and exhausted.

When I decide to leave this behind and go towards my life’s passion (career/work) and the prospect of someone new (when the time is right) who will love me for me (the Universe repeatedly told me *this person* didn’t think I was good enough for her; I was okay, but I was runner-up to who they really wanted) it gives me hope and joy. I feel lighter and more energetic.

She is now engaged to marry someone new. Yesterday, I rec’d glaring back-to-back signs about *her* and I no longer felt energetically charged by it. Previously, I’d love to get these signs, it made me feel tied to her. Now, I felt disgusted. She’s engaged and even if she was emotionally available to me, I still would pass on engaging with her. To get signs about someone who is with someone else is now appalling and I feel bad for her fiancée.

It’s such a polar opposite to the days I longed for this person and was in such pain. The old version of me would have waited for her to come back, because I could then shower her with my love and devotion, and would have been grateful for getting signs about her despite being engaged and planning her wedding. Now, I can’t help but think “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.” But the wish/manifestion was made when I was so different.

Wow. How things have changed. But this is my situation...

If you feel that you are no longer interested in *this person* (insert whatever term you feel fit) share your story with me. What happened to have you shift your perspective, how do you feel about love and twin flames in general?

[FairyCrystal]

I've been with a narcissist for 10-11 years, so lots and lots of abuse, all kinds you can think of. Yet, I think back and remember the good bits, what I learnt from it all, how I've grown from that relationship and gotten so much stronger!

When I look back at me and my TF it's very similar.
There is no disgust, not even with the narcissist. That is inner strength, that is healing and bouncing back.
If you cannot look back and see the good, the wonderful things, the great memories, and look back with love you are not even close to being over it and being healed. You likely are getting in worse state actually, closing your heart, closing off from feeling, and everything. At least when there's disgust you still feel genuine feelings & emotions.

[hitch]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

I've been with a narcissist for 10-11 years, so lots and lots of abuse, all kinds you can think of. Yet, I think back and remember the good bits, what I learnt from it all, how I've grown from that relationship and gotten so much stronger!

When I look back at me and my TF it's very similar.
There is no disgust, not even with the narcissist. That is inner strength, that is healing and bouncing back.
If you cannot look back and see the good, the wonderful things, the great memories, and look back with love you are not even close to being over it and being healed. You likely are getting in worse state actually, closing your heart, closing off from feeling, and everything. At least when there's disgust you still feel genuine feelings & emotions.

I don’t think I’m in a worst state, at all. I briefly thought about closing myself off, but I realize I can’t do that.

Also, I’m just removing myself from the situation. To forcefully project myself to where someone else is at without processing and releasing my emotions wouldn’t be honoring myself. I think I’m understanding flow and my own intuition more and more. “This is where I am and it’s right where I need to be” type of thing.

[jro5139]

It isn't that I am no longer interested, but lately a part of me has been feeling like... he should be a lot more grateful or appreciative of the fact that I have been even willing to still talk to him (given where he is and what has happened to him.) I don't want to say that I am out of his league now, but well, maybe I do lol. He has been brought down quite a few notches from where he was when I met him. Meanwhile, I am on my way up.

At the same time, I am much more accepting now of where the situation is and where he is. He needs to go through what he is going through for his own awakening and soul growth. Given where he was, there is really no other way. And for him, right now, that means a pretty horrific dark night of the soul, which isn't over for him yet and probably will not be for about another year. His journey is about his awakening, just like my journey is about my awakening. One of the biggest mistakes we make is making these connections about the other person or about the pursuit of the "perfect relationship."

I'm feeling much more detached and much more accepting. I can talk to him when it's right for us to talk, and I can let him be when it's better for us not to talk. I would also say that sometimes the signs are more about what we should be doing in the moment or the message we are receiving than about the outcome.
For example, I received another very specific and mind blowing sign the other day. But I believe it was more about the message I was receiving at the time and how I should handle the current situation than the ultimate outcome of it all. It's our tendency to think of signs as always pointing to the outcome that can cause confusion.

[hitch]

Originally Posted by jro5139

For example, I received another very specific and mind blowing sign the other day. But I believe it was more about the message I was receiving at the time and how I should handle the current situation than the ultimate outcome of it all. It's our tendency to think of signs as always pointing to the outcome that can cause confusion.

I’ve gone a few days with no signs, thankfully. It feels good and I’ve also read it’s a good thing. I’ve tried before, but this time is more organic. I’m also focused on my career and healing. Yay.