How do you deal with your past life karma ?

[Marie]

The first thing I'm thinking here, what about detachment? When anything they do towards me doesn't affect me anymore? When they can't reach me and what they do is confined within their own boundaries?
Think too there's a difference if they want to change and are trying to not.
But I think that no matter what they do, there's something to learn still if they're there in your life and that the only way to be free is to learn it. And remain detached. Maybe the actual detachment is the problem?
Not that we should accept abuse though.
But a soul connection or whatever they do I've found as long you're attached, and it can be tricky, you won't ever get escape until it's done lesson seen etc.
Like, things only happen because you're attached to something. Or I actually think they would just...disappear. Or, stop. Simply.
Also we are responsible to allow things in the first place. If we are detached and not allowing where is the bad behaviour ?

Regarding the sexual again, seems like too many stuck in programming. Why has it with friends I don't get it. That's been conditioned by society TV etc. what a low way to live. I wouldn't say you're spiritual truly if accepting those ways either or having issues with 3D ways.

[Marie]

Of course, when we see and understand the lesson, and not repeat it shouldn't we be set totally free?

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Marie

The first thing I'm thinking here, what about detachment? When anything they do towards me doesn't affect me anymore? When they can't reach me and what they do is confined within their own boundaries?
Think too there's a difference if they want to change and are trying to not.
But I think that no matter what they do, there's something to learn still if they're there in your life and that the only way to be free is to learn it. And remain detached. Maybe the actual detachment is the problem?
Not that we should accept abuse though.
But a soul connection or whatever they do I've found as long you're attached, and it can be tricky, you won't ever get escape until it's done lesson seen etc.
Like, things only happen because you're attached to something. Or I actually think they would just...disappear. Or, stop. Simply.
Also we are responsible to allow things in the first place. If we are detached and not allowing where is the bad behaviour ?

Regarding the sexual again, seems like too many stuck in programming. Why has it with friends I don't get it. That's been conditioned by society TV etc. what a low way to live. I wouldn't say you're spiritual truly if accepting those ways either or having issues with 3D ways.

If we are detached and not allowing where is the bad behaviour ?

Marie, I think you have the right of it. Equanimity is the first part...and part of this is a more dispassionate acceptance of what is regarding the other. This is how he or she is with you...they may tend to dismiss you, or they may tend to insult you, or to shun you, or to beat you...or whatever the case may be. The reality may be that you are able to express love and caring more consistently whilst perhaps they are not able to consistently do so.

The second part is evaluating your trauma (physical, emotional, and spiritual) and your peace of mind against enduring the situation. If it is traumatic to endure, even with equanimity to counterbalance things, it may be far preferable to leave and to physically remove yourself from the situation.

Equanimity leads one to a place of alignment with spirit and balance in spirit. Meaning, you come to truly love and value yourself equally to the other. And that means your well-being and your peace of mind is truly as important as that of the other.

You are never less important. You are equally important to anyone else. And that includes your thoughts and feelings and what nurtures and sustains you. You matter too. This is a radical message that many of us have not received in any concrete way from our society of the course of our lives.

Equanimity is not there to allow you to endure a life in prison (unless prison is literally all there is). Equanimity is there to remind you that you can live elsewhere in peace and freedom, and that you deserve to do so as much as the next.

Regarding the sexual again, seems like too many stuck in programming.

Agreed.

But I feel that the dissatisfaction many speak of is so deep and pervasive over a lifetime, that many will have no choice but to confront themselves in the mirror and return to the plain & simple getting to know you and love you first, cookie later. It's just no good any other way if you're looking for a more profound and blissful connection.

It's like the porn-based non-physical ED (i.e., ED that is based on trauma to the heart, mind, and spirit from repeated use of streaming porn) that young men in particular are experiencing, but it's not as fast and furious. Instead, a life of easy, casual sexual relationships without authentic love for the other produces a much more a slow-burning ED of the heart over a lifetime, which ever increasingly takes the good edge off men's sexual enjoyment.

So, it does come back to them head on. In the end, to satisfy the soul, there's nothing for it but to stop using others for sex and convenience...and to start digging in. That is, to start getting to know and love one another first and foremost just and people and as friends, and only then as loving partners. For many, that means owning your game perhaps for the first time in your adult life, and finally finding and exercising some long-term self-discipline and some newfound respect and appreciation for others as people in their own right. And not just as your sex outlets, your roomies, and your casual squeezes.

Importantly it also means understanding that anyone who is willing to be touched by a hand that doesn't love them will be toxic for you (as a man or as a woman, either) if you are looking for authentic love in partnership and intimacy, and is to be avoided like the plague even whilst you wish them well on their journey. Growing up is hard these days, LOL...particularly for lots of "grown ups" who are only just beginning to discover what that means for themselves

Peace & blessings
7L

[Marie]

I so agree with you, 7L. I can proudly say that I haven't been sexually active four over ten years. I live the law of ONE. Where what you're talking about is practised. So you're right. It has it's place, namely, procreation. Under loving circumstances. Not the misuse and abuse were seeing. Definitely not. That's not love. It sure isn't. You got it. If you cannot be friends, and love without it, there is not much love. I know it's true, because I live it. Thankfully I've never been addicted to all that. I've had my experiences but I have never been addicted.
And I know that's rare. But, that's just me. Never really been interested, but basically only done because of the pressure.
To me, melting with a true love is much more satisfying.
I hate it the way it's seen and done. That casual. I hate it. Always have.
They deserve what they create.
They can never reach high, pure stares being like that. Zero.

I agree again with the other part:) but, what do you do, when it's a twinflame? When you know they're healing?
Have you ever experienced that?

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Marie

I can proudly say that I haven't been sexually active four over ten years. I live the law of ONE.

There is no spiritual law stating one shouldn't be sexually active. If you want confirmation on how damaging such beliefs can be, look at priests in the Catholic church. Abstaining from sexual activity is a personal choice, it is neither correct nor incorrect. Spirituality is about balance: approaching all life questions and situations with equanimity, never allowing any one point of view from hijacking your emotions and thought life, and thereby becoming a close-ended religion.

But that's where the karma question comes in. Due to past life karma and pre-birth decisions, the soul may well have a religious-like pull towards this or that POV with any life question, including this one. That ONE law then can be understood as quite real for the individual, the soul's guidelines it set for itself in this particular incarnation.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Baile

There is no spiritual law stating one shouldn't be sexually active. If you want confirmation on how damaging such beliefs can be, look at priests in the Catholic church. Abstaining from sexual activity is a personal choice, it is neither correct nor incorrect. Spirituality is about balance: approaching all life questions and situations with equanimity, never allowing any one point of view from hijacking your emotions and thought life, and thereby becoming a close-ended religion.

But that's where the karma question comes in. Due to past life karma and pre-birth decisions, the soul may well have a religious-like pull towards this or that POV with any life question, including this one. That ONE law then can be understood as quite real for the individual, the soul's guidelines it set for itself in this particular incarnation.

Baile, hello. Nothing to do with organised religion at all. It's just the way most women feel as they grow and come into their own. Many are already married to someone they love, and so this arrangement (committed life partnership) is well-aligned with a mature women's emotional and spiritual nature. I also think many men come to this place on their paths as well, particularly once the heart centre is opened and they are living from the heart-led consciousness.

The law of One is simply that you live in alignment with spirit, source, and/or your higher self (or however you conceive of what is), whilst seeking the highest good for both self and others equally.

Meaning, if you love another authentically (seek the highest good of the other equally to yourself) AND if you have openly committed to them and to actively seeking and supporting their highest good, then sex may be an appropriate, mutually respectful, mutually honouring, and mutually desired and loving part of that authentically loving commitment.

Otherwise it generally is NOT all these things and thus is not in alignment with your highest good AND the highest good of the other, equally.

There is no outright preclusion of sex per se...rather, there is a preclusion (at the level of the soul fully living its truth) of sex apart from a pre-existing and openly committed mutual authentic love for one another.

From the perspective of the highest good of all, you simply find sex unappealing and undesirable (misaligned) if it is less that a mutual total engagement and commitment on all levels, and especially the emotional and spiritual ones.

I think I get what Marie is saying...and I agree

Peace & blessings
7L

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Marie

I so agree with you, 7L. I can proudly say that I haven't been sexually active four over ten years. I live the law of ONE. Where what you're talking about is practised. So you're right. It has it's place, namely, procreation. Under loving circumstances. Not the misuse and abuse were seeing. Definitely not. That's not love. It sure isn't. You got it. If you cannot be friends, and love without it, there is not much love. I know it's true, because I live it. Thankfully I've never been addicted to all that. I've had my experiences but I have never And I know that's rare. But, that's just me. Never really been interested, but basically only done because of the pressure.
To me, melting with a true love is much more satisfying.
I hate it the way it's seen and done. That casual. I hate it. Always have.
They deserve what they create.
They can never reach high, pure stares being like that. Zero. been addicted.


I agree again with the other part:) but, what do you do, when it's a twinflame? When you know they're healing?
Have you ever experienced that?

I don't know if you are with this person or apart from them.

However, in general....
If it's a close soul connection, you ultimately both have to open your hearts to healing and send one another love and blessings, even if from a distance. It's much tougher going if the healing work is mainly all being done on your side or all on theirs. In particular, you need to send love & blessings to yourself and to the other whenever you are going through a bad patch or if you know they are.

Easier said than done at times. I recommend variations of the Buddhist Metta practice, for transforming anger, suffering and pain into lovingkindness, goodwill, and blessings. I also recommend reaching out to your guides for assistance with heart healing and with spiritual healing when you feel you are at low ebb and cannot even really manage it all on your own. That is what they are there for. Ask them for healing for yourself or, if you are moved to do so, for the both of you.

Contemplation and meditations on mystical writings on the sacred heart, or the heart-led consciousness, and on divine lovingkindness and compassion are also very healing...they guide you to release, accept, forgive and to be gentle, with yourself and others. I can recommend many...Jesus and Thich Nhat Hahn are classic in their simplicity and purity...but it is hard to beat the writings of Nachman of Breslov for illumination and healing...he's one of my all-time favourites. Probably because he struggled with lifelong depression and truly understood the needs of the heart/soul here on earth. Also Nachmanides, another great mystic, and most of the Sufi mystics -- many of whom were great poets as well.

I use all of these things myself and have done many times...with parents or fam, with friends or partners...etc. They're not one-time things, though...you will probably need to use them regularly for coping and healing major trauma.

Wishing you all the best on your path...

Peace & blessings
7L

[Baile]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Baile, hello. Nothing to do with organized religion at all.

My point with that comment is that we make our chosen beliefs our private religion. We attach ourselves to these beliefs and ideas, the same way organized religion would have us attach to their ideas about god, Jesus, salvation and the like. We create our personal religions and in the process enslave ourselves with our rigid relationship to those beliefs.

The idea of abstinence and refraining from sexual relations as a higher path, is such a belief. It is not a spiritual law. It is a human-created and primarily-religious belief. And it has nothing to do specifically with women, the Catholic priesthood is but one of many examples of that.

My interpretation of Marie's comment is she views abstinence as a higher path. It seems she relates sex to the "lower" 3D world that she often speaks of, and abstinence as an aspect of "purer" 5D reality. That's what I'm hearing. And that's what I responded to. If those are her beliefs, I'm pointing out she has created a religious-belief relationship to this question. And if so, that to me would be very unhealthy.

Even the idea that 3D life and reality should be rejected for 5D reality, is a rather unhealthy religious belief in its own right. It's a form of life avoidance; rejecting the incarnation experience and the soul's mission here in the physical. New-age ascension beliefs are no different than religious beliefs about spiritual purity and rapture: people rejecting the world and it's "base human desires," for some perceived sinless or higher state, or paradise or plane of consciousness.

I read, "They can never reach high, pure states being like that. Zero." and I wonder where that statement is coming from. Because reaching higher states in a relationship has nothing to do with the question of how couples choose to explore their sexual natures. Couples can be sexual in any number of different ways, and it can be their path to those higher states. And to clarify because it's important, I'm talking about healthy loving relationships here, not dysfunctional ones.

[7luminaries]

My interpretation of Marie's comment is she views abstinence as a higher path. It seems she relates sex to the "lower" 3D world

Baile, I understand your comments now, based on your interpretation.
I didn't get that all from her post, though. What I got is that she's living in alignment with her soul or her centre.

I very much understand how living in alignment with centre means you seek the highest good of all.

And if sex is not meaningful or desired by you without a mutual authentic love that seeks the highest good of one another (which for you may be committed, monogamous life partnership in this context), then you ever more readily pass on it when that mutual authentic love is not present.

If however, the other is more than willing to have sex without a mutual authentic love which seeks your highest good equally to their own...then they will need to refrain from putting their sexual needs on you in isolation (isolation from mutual authentic love). This requires them to own their game whilst coming to love you authentically or to remove themselves from you and seek purely or primarily sexual partnership with others who do not require or desire authentic love to have sex.

I think it's really that simple. Living in one's integrity, seeking the highest good for self and others, often leads one (many women, for certain) to pass on sex -- quite easily, actually -- if it is just sex without an authentic, committed love which seeks their highest good equally to that of the other.

At a primal level, when we are well-aligned with our centre, sex without full engagement on all levels and a mutual authentic love often begins to feel ever more like rape or coercion to a woman. To say it's unappealing is an understatement, which is why so many of us are turned off when some men press for sex repeatedly up front, after just a handful of dates or weeks, with little to no real mutual emotional engagement or knowledge of one another. Likewise, if a committed life partner comes to us without being fully present in his heart, it can feel the same way.

There's nothing else that needs to be layered or projected onto it to understand, IMO. And BTW I completely agree that fully engaging in our material existence is why we are here...why else? We are here to elevate the baseness and celebrate the wonders.

Peace & blessings,
7L

[Baile]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

At a primal level, when we are well-aligned with our centre, sex without full engagement on all levels and a mutual authentic love often begins to feel ever more like rape or coercion to a woman.

Yes, I understand that. And I didn't want to invalidate that point, which is why I added my disclaimer about my comments relating to healthy and loving relationships, and not dysfunctional relationships.