Spiritual Forums

Home


Donate!


Articles


CHAT!


Shop


 
Welcome to Spiritual Forums!.

We created this community for people from all backgrounds to discuss Spiritual, Paranormal, Metaphysical, Philosophical, Supernatural, and Esoteric subjects. From Astral Projection to Zen, all topics are welcome. We hope you enjoy your visits.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest, which gives you limited access to most discussions and articles. By joining our free community you will be able to post messages, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload your own photos, and gain access to our Chat Rooms, Registration is fast, simple, and free, so please, join our community today! !

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, check our FAQs before contacting support. Please read our forum rules, since they are enforced by our volunteer staff. This will help you avoid any infractions and issues.

Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Complementary Therapies & Traditional Medicine > Natural Remedies

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-01-2013, 12:21 AM
Sapphirez Sapphirez is offline
Master
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Us
Posts: 1,691
  Sapphirez's Avatar
serious wound healing

hi! thank you for opening my thread.

when I say serious, I mean very serious...

If you don't want to read my story you can skip to the end where I say so that's what brings me here lol


My dad has had both of his legs amputated below the knees (they were about 5 years apart, some vein disease tho I'm sure his lifestyle contributes)

My dad has had a pretty troubled life and has tons of negativity, and some might say that his condition is karmic, But I personally would not say that.. and I love my dad even tho we haven't had a close relationship.. and I think he has a lot of potential and some wonderful qualities.


He is obviously very ignorant, and his current life is very sad. it was already sad, but not being able to move around and being in so much pain obviously magnifies that


He has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember and also smoked cigarettes and did other drugs. currently I think that he just is on pain killers (probably oxycotin but I'm not sure) and smokes marijuana to combat the nausea they give him. He is also currently smoking cigarettes but he did quit for like 2 months recently with some prescription (I told him I used a homeopathic spray to quit after 10 years of smoking and I've been smoke-free for 3 years but he doesn't listen that well or care I guess. but I guess not smoking made his pain worse, not sure, I mean I wouldn't advocate him being on a prescription for it anyways)

the good news is that because of his growingly dire state he doesn't socialize much and has cut back a lot on his drinking alcohol. He always had a case of beer or wreaked of it as I grew up, (our parents divorced when I was 10 or younger and since then usually we saw him once or a few times a year) but the last time I visited him he hadn't really been drinking though he did have some beer on hand and I drank some just to deal with being there *sigh* lol sorry..

I was trying to tell him that he can help himself.. and open his eyes and stuff.. (I wrote a list with the limited knowledge I could think of and had then, and when I last talked to him he said he tried it for like 2 months but I highly doubt he really did what I suggested or to the extent I suggested it)
He isn't very receptive. his life consists of laying in bed in his studio apartment watching TV, two TVs usually for some reason.. Very loudly. and often old war shows.. he doesn't sleep for 8 consecutive hours ever because he has to get up to take his pain pills. he has some little portable stove thing in his room, but I think he usually just uses the microwave..
he drinks coca cola, and coffee in the morning I believe, and Sunny-D.. and the way he drinks water is by diluting his Sunny-D with a little bathroom tap water!
He doesn't get much fresh air.. his room was soooo smoky when I was there last, it was horrible. He doesn't have shins/feet so the bottom half of his bed is covered with gadgets and toys, mostly model airplanes and kits to fix them, as he has like maybe 50 airplanes around his little room and so much mess n stuff.. it is a shame and he just told me that his doctor is talking about cutting off more of his legs, above his knees. he's so ornery and doesn't want that to happen, but when I tell him that it's up to him and he can help himself he doesn't believe me. and I offer to help him figure out how to help himself, but he just resolves that he's doomed and there's no hope or help...

I am so sure that he can at least moderately heal himself and prevent having his legs cut off more.. I should also mention that the wound(s) aren't healing.. the more recent one, which I think it's been more than 2 years now, is worse off and I think it's just like a gigantic open sore, perhaps you can even see the bone, I don't know, but it's a deep sore.. (he has prosthetic legs but can't wear them because of the condition)

I know his lifestyle isn't conducive to healing, but I don't know how to get through to him, but I don't want to give up on him. and I believe he can get better.

I will not give up, and I will try more, but the clock is ticking. I don't know when he would have surgery scheduled again, so my goal is to pick him up something(s) affordable enough that will make a quick drastic difference.

and that is what brings me here lol... I don't know enough about everything offhand to particularly say what would be the best for all this.... I also know that he should have some sort of spiritual healing (I got him an amethyst and tried to enlighten him with a book or two and my speeches but he will be more receptive to a pill or something for now, at least the main concern is getting him healthy enough to not have further amputation) but if I am able to help him with that it will be an afterthought as I don't think there is anything that would convince him he could will himself to health or whatever..

so, I have studied a lot in general, and a couple material remedies come to mind, but they are just guesses or hunches, nothing I am confident enough in as you see this is sort of an emergency..
so I was hoping that somebody here would have some nice advice for us..

I was thinking of getting him grapefruit seed extract as the first order.
I don't have hundreds of dollars so I can only afford a couple things, but I am willing to sacrifice some of the little money I have for this endeavor.

another thing was possibly camphor root? or maybe castor oil? I don't want to do anything dangerous to him, but I read that those are good at "drawing" out impurities and promoting healing. I really don't know, so that's why I'm here

oil of oregano is another thing I was thinking of. there is much more, but as I've said I am just not sure lol, so I'll stop speculating and hopefully somebody has some suggestions. any thing is appreciated, thank you very much
__________________
peachy
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-01-2013, 01:32 AM
Silver Silver is offline
Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 20,100
  Silver's Avatar
Lightbulb

He may be ornery, but with such a caring, loving daughter, I'm sure he's appreciative, even if he doesn't show it all that much. You are so nice to him. I wish I knew what to suggest in the way of supplements or vitamins. I take it he's diabetic? My grandmother had both her legs amputated above the knee years and years ago - she's long gone.

It's likely time to start thinking in terms of acceptance - that's always a positive thing for anyone to do...I'm not saying give up on finding stuff to help him - but a calm, steadfast loving acceptance of what is happening could possibly get his attention and hopefully start observing what's important in life.

I lost my son almost 3 years ago. It's taken time, but I'm adjusting. I presently have a neighbor / friend who is losing the battle and she's not in good shape at all right now. Her car broke down, so I've been able to take her to her doctor appointments for about a month now. I'm pretty sure people can sense how much you care about them.

Best wishes to you both.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-01-2013, 05:02 AM
Berry Berry is offline
Master
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,070
  Berry's Avatar
I'm sorry I don't have any good advice but I want to say that you are a very loving daughter and I applaud you for all that you are doing for your Dad.

I just wanted to add that be careful giving him grapefruit seed extract. I read that it can interact with many meds. The other point would be being allergic.

http://www.ehow.com/info_8013484_gra...eractions.html

http://news.ca.msn.com/canada/grapef...-can-be-deadly

I hope you'll find something that is beneficial for your Dad.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 06-01-2013, 05:31 AM
iolite
Posts: n/a
 
Comfrey... This is what the herbalist Dr. Christopher wrote about comfrey.

THE BENEFITS OF THE USE OF COMFREY
IN HERBAL PREPARATIONS

MEDICINAL QUALITIES OF COMFREYCOMFREY
by Sabrina G. Seitz, RN This site brought to you by The School of Natural Healing & Christopher Publications

-----------------------------------------------
To make up a salve with comfrey for your dad to apply to the wounds, the recipe is as follows;

http://www.herballegacy.com/Seitz_Medicinal.html

You can get the comfrey root powder at Mountain Rose Herbs:

I would get the 4oz bottle of comfrey oil as my oil and the comfrey root powder and some manuka honey as it has antibacterial properties and make a jar up for your dad to apply to the wounds. When he changes the dressing, he should just apply more paste to areas and not try to remove any of thepaste that is there, put more paste on top and re-bandage.

Edited by SF Staff

Last edited by arive nan : 14-02-2013 at 02:05 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 06-01-2013, 11:54 AM
Sapphirez Sapphirez is offline
Master
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Us
Posts: 1,691
  Sapphirez's Avatar
thank you guys, that is sweet of you to say about me being sweet lol


thank you Berry! the reason I was thinking of GSE was for its antibacterial effects.. I'm glad you warned me about potential dangers, I am sure there are alternatives that would be more suitable



iolite! awesome! comfrey root is on my list of top 5 things to buy for myself! lol... I recently read that it was amazing at healing scars n stuff. d0h like I didn't even think about it for him haha.. I was just wanting it for vanity reasons for myself and planned to buy some asap! I even have several forms of it in my amazon shopping cart! lol...


it's almost 6am here and I've not gone to bed yet so I will have to read your post later, but I am so glad you posted all that, I look forward to reading it! in case you happen to read this before I come back to read your post, I just want to ask, you absolutely think it's safe and good to put directly on such a deep wound?
thank you so much
__________________
peachy
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 06-01-2013, 04:10 PM
iolite
Posts: n/a
 
Yes, Dr. Christopher gave the comfrey paste recipe to parents of a boy who burned his hands so badly that they were practically charred. He and a friend had been playing with gasoline. His hands had severe 3rd degree burns. Dr. Christopher told his parents to apply the paste to the hands and fingers and bandage, changing the dressing daily and applying more paste -- never try to remove the old paste just put more on top. The comfrey healed the boys hands and he regained full use of them.

http://www.herballegacy.com/Bone_Fle...Cartilage.html
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 13-02-2013, 12:24 PM
Sapphirez Sapphirez is offline
Master
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Us
Posts: 1,691
  Sapphirez's Avatar
hi again. I'm sorry that I took so long. I get overwhelmed by simple tasks too often and it wasn't much and I read and write all the time but it seemed like a feat to read all that lol and reply.. but of course it was a great post, really fascinating.
well, those examples are about burns, I'm afraid it's not exactly the same with severed limbs?

the bummer is that I guess my dad already had more cut off.. We talked around Christmas or actually it was probably closer to New Year's, and he had hung up on me, well he told me he was going to hang up.. cuz I was telling him how there is hope and he's not doomed, etc.. and I guess I couldn't really convey everything I know or believe or really think or suggest, so Idno maybe just sounded like pipe dreams to him.. but I just knew that there was an alternative yknow?
but so then I put off calling him again.. and he rarely ever calls me..
I got the comfrey root tho, I actually got an extract and it's the Dr. Christopher brand coincidentally enough! but I don't have the leaf or root form or whatever and won't be any time soon...
so I don't know, for myself anyways I just put some of the extract into some olive oil in a bottle and I use it as a moisturizer/lotion...
I was planning I guess to visit my dad later this month, cuz his birthday is on the 21st.. I know it's not really that difficult, but I take the bus and don't drive, so it isn't like I can just drive over to my dad's house at any time.. I have to take 2 buses to get there. but still it's only an hour or so to get there by buses, so it's not really an excuse.... but a little better than if it were easily convenient.. well anyways, this might be tmi, but I'm gonna write it anyway.. so unfortunately I overheard my mom (I live with her but we're not on speaking terms and haven't been for some time) talking on the phone to a friend and she was talking about my dad being in the hospital. and it wasn't clear whether he is there still yet from having more cut off from his legs, or really how much more he had cut off, or if he was there mostly for another reason.. when I heard them talking about him having done the stinking surgery, I heard that he was a wreck because his (on again off again for lots of years) girlfriend was found dead.. she was an alcoholic so I guess that lifestyle ended up taking her life a few days ago. I think she was sort of a vodka for breakfast sort of alcoholic.. of course it varied through the years how severe her drinking was if she wasn't sober, I don't know.. they didn't have an ideal relationship, but there aren't many people in my dad's life.. so I can't imagine how traumatic this is for him.. I haven't even called him... I think he's still in the hospital. I don't really know what to say. I feel bad because I can't access what that pain feels like and can't really say much about it.... tho I can cry for him, and for her.. and the tragedy of it all.. I always want to have a solution tho, words of wisdom, etc.. and if I call him, on the phone, if you're just supposed to "be there" for a person whose gone through this, how do you "be there" in a phone conversation, on the phone you need to say words.. anyways, he didn't call me, for any of these reasons, not when he went to get his surgery and not when his girlfriend (ex or not, I'm not sure if they were together at the time) died.. at first I heard that she killed herself, but I guess only in the sense that she drank and perhaps starved herself to death I guess..
so I don't know... he's always been an alcoholic as well, for as long as I can remember.. tho he drank beer.. but I was sort of glad he was so miserable in the last half a year or so because he wasn't really drinking anymore cuz he mostly just stayed in bed and napped and watched tv n smoked so he could take stupid pain pills.... it was nice that he for once was able to not be a slave to beer anymore.. but anyways, I bring that up because one of the last times I was there (the other last time whichever it was he didn't drink but I drank some of his beers, cuz I have a bad anxiety problem so it's extra hard for me to be with him, or anyone, and alcohol helps tho largely I've abstained from a partying lifestyle now) we drank together... and well, he is a Pisces Sun and I have a Pisces ascendant, and I know that Pisces likes to escape like that... I think my dad has a heavy Capricorn and Aries influence tho, he always seemed like more authoritarian... anyway, not sure if you know about Astrology or are even listening to my story lol.. but I saw you have Aquarius listed as your sign on your profile... I thought my dad was Aquarius for the longest time, cuz my mom born on the 1st of February was and I didn't know Astrology that well to realize that the cut-off date for Aquarius is the 20th..
well anyways, I don't know when he will start drinking again, if he does, if he's not out of the hospital already, but I think I will try to visit him for his birthday.. it's pretty uncomfortable.. I don't know what it will be like or what we'll do, or if we'll drink or how we'll feel.. I do like my dad tho.. and love of course.. it was rather bittersweet the recent times I was there.. reminiscing slightly tho we don't have many memories together really, and well we were talking about bad stuff mostly.. like past family stuff.. but also about hope for him and stuff like that, and Idno life in general maybe.. We listened to music, from his generation, stuff I grew up on and grew to love, classic rock is my favorite kind of music if I had to pick one genre.. so it was kind of strange, our hanging out one of those last times.. something about it was cool n oddly comforting, but probably disturbing at the same time.. well lol guess that's enough of that.. so, part of the reason I stayed away from here was probably because I was afraid my dad wouldn't really do what I wanted him to anyway, that either it would go off sloppily, or ineffectively entirely, (I mean as in him not obliging me) or perhaps whatever not working enough.. or also it being too late.. tho that's not really something in my vernacular, but his, and it's his body so yeah.. and then he had told me he did all this stuff that I suggested for him before, said he did it for two months.. I find that sooo unlikely tho.. for a man who dilutes his Sunny-D with bathroom tap water as his water source, and lives on coca-cola and the microwave at least half the time, etc.. and doesn't even care to open the window to air out his smoky little room!? nah... it's highly unlikely he put forth a reasonable effort toward whatever my list consisted of which I forgot now.. that he said he did any of it tho was a pleasant surprise to me.. but I had to wonder what he really actually did and how.. *sigh* anyways... so now it's too late, he got more cut off.. and I heard him say it may very well prevent him from having prosthetic leg usage... tho of course he had 2 already but wouldn't be able to use those ones then, if he were actually able to use any ever again anyway... such a shame.. and I know I'm not exactly to blame, but I feel it still just the same.. and I feel I could have helped his gf too.. tho I didn't see her much, if I had.. perhaps.. well, now, hopefully I go visit him in 2 weeks.. er.. less than 2 weeks.. and he will still need help healing his wounds.. another big thing tho is that I'm afraid, to administer it myself.. it feels wrong in a way.. I know that we've been conditioned to think that we shouldn't do medical things ourselves.. and that it isn't simply true.. but you know that stigma is there.. and this is such a serious problem.. how can I possibly remove bandages of stumps that half legs were cut off and apply a paste or ointment or whatever that I make with eye droppers full of herb extract I got from online and I don't know whatever vehicle to put it in... on these remnants of leg attachments?? but how can I let the same thing happen again and just let him rot away without doing anything? I'll need to bring him some probiotics too as they probably gave him lots of antibiotics.. *shudder* I gave him some before and he reported to have taken them pretty responsibly or at least sporadically.. they're probably no good any more if he still has some left tho.. I guess I'm writing it here as a reminder for myself so I don't forget. I should bring him some crystal/stone(s) too..
all right I guess that is it lol... not sure if anyone is reading this so I'll just end with a
__________________
peachy
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 13-02-2013, 02:42 PM
Miss Hepburn Miss Hepburn is offline
Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southwest, USA
Posts: 24,945
  Miss Hepburn's Avatar
Thank u for reminding us of comfrey.
I will say the comfrey (leaf) paste or poultice on any arthritic joint ( I think we all know
Someone with arthritic pain)
Over night covered with plastic wrap, then held all together with
A simple elastic sport wrap, like a knee wrap...and the pain is gone overnight.
A bit messy but who cares...and I was told to just use olive oil and honey.

Sapphirez, you can do it....natural poutices really work...you are on the right path.
Might be messy and take a little time with the right ingredients...
..I mean if he would let you.
__________________

.
*I'll text in Navy Blue when I'm speaking as a Mod. :)


Prepare yourself for the coming astral journey of death by daily riding in the balloon of God-perception.
Through delusion you are perceiving yourself as a bundle of flesh and bones, which at best is a nest of troubles.
Meditate unceasingly, that you may quickly behold yourself as the Infinite Essence, free from every form of misery. ~Paramahansa's Guru's Guru
.


Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 14-02-2013, 10:56 AM
Ciqala
Posts: n/a
 
You sound like you are very caring. He's lucky to have someone like you there for him.

I think you might benefit from looking into Al-Anon, it's an amazing 12 step group for friends and family members of alcoholics. It's a group where you can talk and rant to like minded people who know what it is like living with an addict, and you also learn how to work on your own shadows, codependent issues (if there are any) and important things such as how to cope with, or support or talk to someone who suffers with a drinking problem.

All you can do to help him with his drinking problem is mention to him that perhaps he might want to check out AA or something similar.

I'm not sure what the medical situation was/is with his amputations but I do know many who have had limbs amputated and the recovery rate even for healthy individuals takes awhile. I'm not sure what I could suggest, because all the healing techniques I know for myself are things I do on myself, like positive thinking - it works wonders for healing injuries. I even healed my fractured foot once in a day, just by visualizing it healed.

In general injuries are depressing and debilitating, but amputations really traumatize and destroy some patients. I think he would benefit in talking to a counsellor, even one that specializes in injury rehabilitation and the trauma and depression that goes along with it.

If he is that incapable of being able to take care of himself, someone should be looking into support care for him - support workers, in house nurses, putting him in a home, ect.

It really should not be the job of a loved one to be a care giver.

He sounds like he is going through a very tough time especially now that his girlfriend has died, I think even if he doesn't show it, he would appreciate someone being there for him, especially family.

I'm a recovered alcoholic myself.
You can't force an alcoholic to stop drinking. You can't force someone to get help either. If he feels like festering in his own pain, then its his decision and no one can do anything about it.
But you can keep dangling hope there for him, and remind him that he does have things to live for and people that love him.

I can guarantee you, that all severe alcoholics are cowardly, fearful people that are just plain miserable and all we wish for is for life to be easy, and for love, and for people to show us love. Some of us may go to extremes in fear and push away our loved ones, but the fact still remains, that we drink at the end of the day, because our loved ones never saw behind our stupid action of pushing them away and decided to just "leave us alone".

Man... if I had a dollar for every time I pushed away my loved ones, they listened and walked away, and then I blamed them for betraying me. What I'm getting at is, people are still people at the end of the day, and all people want to be loved and cared for and for someone to be there to stand up for them, despite how mean and callous they have made themselves.

I wouldn't want to show my face around my family when I knew I was letting them down, that I was an embarrassment, that I had lost everything, that I had lost all of my pride, and had nothing to live for. But my family did support me, when they eventually found out I was stealing from them to support my drinking habit, and the only way they found out was because they were phoned up when I nearly died this one time and the paramedic told them I was in the hospital every second day.

So I think if you really want to be there for an alcoholic or addict who is suffering pretty bad, being there is simply just showing compassion, and nothing else. For example, even getting him a card would be a nice gesture.

You can tell him that you are proud of him. You can tell him that you notice that he is trying, even if you don't believe it. Everyone wants to be believed in.
Sometimes you may not see it, but your Dad is one strong man. I can tell you guaranteed, if I went through what he went through during my addiction, i would have killed myself long before it ever got to that point. To me, it sounds like he is working hard and I think he is doing amazing. Especially if he has gone through a period of not drinking. If you have one sliver of suspicion that he has a drinking problem, you've got to know - there ain't nothing that would stop an alcoholic from drinking, other than their own decision not to, so I think you can be hopeful that he is trying.

You really don't even have to say a thing. Just seriously, being there, sitting beside him - maybe watch a movie with him, play a game of cards. He will appreciate the fact that you are there. Right now, I can only imagine how alone and depressed he probably feels.

Chances are, getting into the conversation of things he has to work on, is just adding more stress and depression into his head.

Instead of focusing on someones low points, when you pick out the positive, it makes them want to be more positive. But when you pick out that flaws, it makes them not really care about trying at all.

If you celebrate valentines day perhaps, get him some flowers. It might be a depressing day for him. Give him your condolences for his gf too. It's always awkward being around someone who is mourning, and remember that everyone reacts differently when they mourn too.
For example for me, I didn't want to be around people offering their sympathy and would have given anything to have someone talk to me about something else to help me distract myself from it. But other people really need the love, the hugs, and the sympathy.

You don't have to drink with him - that will only encourage his drinking problem. Instead, maybe bring him a nice latte from starbucks, or even take him out for a meal.

I don't know... I'm a major sucker for corny gestures and sentimental things :)

But you don't want to become victim to their anger, and you can't take the responsibility of their health on your shoulders, because it's not your problem, it's his.
All you can do is be there for him and show your support in sentimental ways - not fixing things ways.

See, I've heard the same things from my mother, even during my recovery and while I've been doing well, she still never knows what to say, and she still always feels like fixing things, finding the answer to everything, she still worries too much, she stresses out over everything now that she puts her own health in jeopardy, and what's more she is damaging our relationship because meanwhile I am doing well, but she is not doing well at all and now often times attacks me verbally because of her own stuff.

And I tell her the same things. Mom, you don't have to tell me any answers, I just need someone to listen to me. Or you don't have to do anything for me, just go out for coffee with me and show that you care.
I've even tried telling her bluntly,
I'm a corny sentimental person, you don't have to buy me things, you don't have to clean my house, you don't have to have the answer to my woes, all i need is a friend right now, and
all a good friend does is say, "yeah man, that totally sucks, I feel for ya, I'm not sure what to do, but just know that im here for ya every step of the way. You are all right in my books :)"

But of course she doesn't understand any this, still and it has been 2 years since I've recovered.
And I have a feeling, that is exactly why they have Al - Anon groups.

See, it goes both ways. A lot of the loved ones think it's all the alcoholics fault. Well, in a perfect world, perhaps. But I don't think I know ANY person in AA who has ever had a decent family life, and all members, though not all addicts, do seem to contribute a little to dysfunction and toxic relationships.
Even for myself - my family are what you could call perfect. But even they have their problems. I don't think anyone in this world can get away with not having to take responsibility for something. I guess what I'm saying is, when we follow the 12 steps of AA, we put a lot of time and effort into completely changing ourselves, but the family - they do nothing most times - and this can be very disappointing when the family stays unhealthy and toxic when you no longer are. Sorry I realize I just began ranting about my own relationship problem. Well, maybe some of this might be of help you, sort of like how it is helpful for me to see the view of someone not coming form addiction.

Well also, many loved ones of alcoholics end up having their own emotional problems and as soon as the alcoholic does recover, it's a pretty intense shock for them. The alcoholic starts doing amazing, is spiritual and starts making amends - the majority of families have been hurt ALOT by the actions of the alcoholic and are very untrustful and doubtful. They've seen the addict go through phases before, and they don't want to get hurt again, so its only natural that the families don't react well. It's understandable.

Not to mention, there is usually a co-dependency in family relationships.

And also, the loved ones then begin to see the alcoholic in his/her vulnerable point and decide to take revenge - sort of like, I'm going to hurt you before you hurt me. I'm not sure why this happens, but it does. And unfortunately, mind games start to happen - and once the alcoholic recovers - the family starts to play blame games "the alcoholic was the only one to blame" and the family refuses to do any work to help the relationships to blossom.

I wish I could convince my mom into going. Our relationship isn't doing so well, and I've tried everything I can think of and unfortunately the only thing that is left is letting her figure it out on her own because she refuses to go, and even refuses to get a counsellor and im so worried about her health because she has terrible anemia and is just too stubborn to do anything about it, thankfully she is finally going to the doctors about her physical health, but as for everything else I know I've tried everything I can, and for my own health I know I cannot be around her abusive mind games, so the only other option is for me to not have any contact with her, or very little.

. I went to one once, mistakenly I thought it was an AA meeting. It was very uncomfortable for me as they often ranted about alcoholics, but it was also very interesting because I got to see the other side to things.
I do think my mom would benefit amazingly from being around other women that have come through it all.

But I think... sometimes I do feel really sad and unloved when my loved ones react in the ways they do.
My mom takes pride in the fact that she is very sentimental.
Yet... she is never sentimental towards me, I think she fears it for some reason.
She's told me she's afraid of saying the wrong thing, or afraid of not being able to fix something. So the only thing my family ever does these days... is nothing... Not that I'm suffering any great deal - but a week ago I was suicidal, and I had turned to her for support thinking, well, she's my mom.
And the sad thing is, she just made a joke and walked away.
How is that supposed to make me feel? It's certainly not how I would treat someone.
It's not the first time she's done aweful things like that to me. She shuts down on me. And acts like she never wants to have anything to do with me.
I try to tell her that it makes me feel unloved, but it only makes her upset and defensive.
I just wish I had someone in my life that would say to me, "you are amazing, I love you no matter what you do, you have so much to live for" someone that would take into consideration how i feel sometimes, instead of just passing it over,
the kind of things and morals you learn in elementary school.
Like when I say, "im fat" I'd want someone to say, "no you look beautiful, you aren't fat" regardless if I am or not.

Well, thankfully I do have someone like that in my life. My spirit guide haha. Without him I would be nowhere.

I don't want to compare people to a spirit guide. I know people aren't perfect. And I know most times, my family aren't especially, because of course they don't want to hear of terrible things about their loved ones.
But there is still a big part of me that is thinking, i feel so completely unloved with them sometimes.

Family, can't live with em can't live without em

Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08-04-2013, 12:43 AM
7luminaries 7luminaries is offline
Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,087
  7luminaries's Avatar
Sapphirez,
All the best to you and your father

On severe injuries...I would say the same as Miss H...olive oil and honey...for deep healing, you may also mix in powdered vitamin c in buffered form only and only when the healing is underway. It is also important to take Vitamin C and probiotics internally, preferably at times opposite to when he is taking any other medication, so as not to interfere. Otherwise the VC will tend to wash the meds out of his system if taken together.

Goldenseal tea can be used as an anti-bacterial/anti-fungal wash and also consumed internally...but it is a very powerful herb and may affect his other medicines, so you may want to just use it externally as a wash for disinfecting and healing.

Peace & blessings,
7L
__________________
Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.

Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.

For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way

and become themselves despite all opposition.

-- Rainer Maria Rilke
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:05 AM.


Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) Spiritual Forums