About a friend

[Marie]

Hi guys. I'm so repulsed, I have a friend, that been looking for her past life lover a long time. Well, she thought she found him, and he moved in with her, and her husband ! To her husband she say I think he's a cousin, or a friend. Not sure. Something along the lines. When I've asked she's said he's fine with it because of that. Yeah, so far so good yeah she thinks he's the lost lover from another life. That we both appeared in as close friends. Well, I remember this lost lover very well and I am positive he's not the lost lover. I have stayed out of it and are continuously, but she's continuing behaving and talking on Skype with me like he's it, and he appears on Skype with her, and do same. I know I can't save her but man, I saw a picture of the guy, and I'm really repulsed, everything screams a homeless guy that's done drugs. And that's kinda also what I've been told. Kind of. HS using her I can see it, and I don't like it. She will never listen, and say he does never go anywhere. She's had problems with her husband about it, but he's hanpecked. The guy got drunk and became a different person, beat her and said a lot of things among others he's not him, and that she can go to...
Abused her too. I don't know what I want with this just hope she wille ok. The last thing is he's convinced her to buy two dogs I could see it's because he wanted to. The look in his eyes, laying beside the dogs, was just like they're mine. It was creepy combined with what I saw. And no, he's energy repulsed before too on numerous occasions for the sane reason. I just hope nothing will come to her, or her husband or the animals. He seem stuck there. He's admitted he uses weed. Where I come from, when I grew up and so forth at least, that's same as being a druggie. Not used to that at all and always told it's bad. I don't judge though, but I saw heavier drugs, what I saw and sensed.
Any input? I might just be rambling, but I'm somewhat worried after what I saw.

[Native spirit]

Hi marie,
There is not much you can do about it it seems like your friend has made up her mind,that the guy is her lost love,i cant understand her husband allowing her to give this guy a home with them.she will have to learn the hard way just be there for her when it happens

Namaste

Originally Posted by Marie

Hi guys.

............Yeah, so far so good yeah she thinks he's the lost lover from another life.

What a wonderful excuse! An obvious lie because she's having to pretend he's someone he isn't with her husband.

I have stayed out of it

Very wise. Let's see what her husband says when he catches her!

HS using her I can see it, and don't like it. She will never listen, and say he does never go anywhere. She's had problems with her husband about it, but he's hanpecked.

Even so it's her choice. She and her husband must work stuff out. Dangerous, I'd say, because in his condition he could be disease-ridden.
Until her hubby takes her aside and tell her he's going to get rid of the guy nothing can change. It is up to them.

Certainly if things seem to go wrong and she keeps bending your ear on Skype with her problems, simply tell her she must own her problems and deal with them. Then kind of "switch out" (i.e. let her talk but don't particularly listen) if she keeps on about it. Difficult but the important thing is to distance yourself from agreeing - and for that matter outwardly sympathising - with her (she is after all being pretty dirty) as that will a) reinforce her thinking she's doing the right thing - and, b) with a neurotic person like this, you may come in for a part of the blame when the stuff hits the fan. Point is, take care she doesn't emotionally drain you.

(My feelings basically are that recalcitrant and neurotic people are best dealt with by withdrawing love - or in this case withdrawing interest. Disdain or some moral indignation isn't the way. Just be disinterested. For instance, if she asks YOU what she should do, just say you don't know - she knows her situation far better than you. Be disinterested.

[Marie]

Yes, good advice! Thank you ! I've stayed out of it as good I can, keep hearing new stuff though. She even have this guy on her Facebook, holding her around her waistline. She knows fully well I don't agree with it, or think he's it. I've made sure about that. He has nothing of the energy our real, old friend had. It's creepy. I'm the first to stand in for that if you're in a relationship or married, especially, you're staying. I'm very old fashioned and only see real, solid reasons. She say they don't "do it"... She's sworn they don't. .. But her husband is jealous of him, and he is jealous of her husband. That's right! They've been fighting before. About the issue. Her husband even wanted him to leave, when that happened. The guy wanted to escape to Canada or Mointana. But .. He's said he's got no money or home. She said she took him in, because people were after him where he came from, for different reasons and having no job. He could of course get a job, he has valid training, at least, being claimed. But it would of course take some traveling back and forth. Quite small town they live. Nearest would be Albuqurque. But, it's a big city so.. But no. He lives in the guest house, which is planted a bit far away from the real house. Yeah, even more recipe for disaster.
She's been married for over twenty years. This guy what can he be... Maybe thirty.. Or something ..
Her husbands very nice, although he doesn't help around the house. But very nice. I feel sorry for him. And with her fragile emotional self at stake. I care about people, as you might tell. I'm staying out, but wish I could help..
I know that in U.S. It's common at least where she lives, with guns etc, but here in uk, where I am, it's quite a shock, when they showed me all of a sudden the biggest gun ever on Skype. He did it of course. Telling me he never forgot my face grr. My partner doesn't like this one bit, or him. He feels sorry for them both though, not the guy though. He also say stay out of it. Yeah, you bet I do, he's a wise guy. I just can't help to wonders ponders what's gonna happen? When is it gonna explode? She's gonna need me. Oh god she's even invited us over. My partner doesn't say anything when I talk about that. I didn't really took a look at the guys energy until recently, it's changed for the worse. Much much worse. I wonder if that's a bad sign?? I'm actually worried what he might do to them. They live quite vulnerable out in the sands. The police there doesn't do much. I know that.

[Shaunc]

Stay out of it. Remember the Russian saying. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Yes, the situation sound pretty dodgy. At least if you're in the UK it can't suddenly land on your doorstep. That's often a problem when a third party gets involved. The woman is a fool but I suppose after years of marriage there's a temptation if things have fallen flat. Shame.

I don't feel sorry for people like these. They aren't children and presumably have the brains to see it for themselves if only they'd look! A dangerous game...I wouldn't honestly blame the husband if he walked out or ejected this guy then sought an injunction.

.....

[7luminaries]

Somethings you can do...

If this dodgy bloke ever threatens anyone, including you, then you should tell the police about his gun and suspected drug use, just FYI. Tell them you need to remain anonymous for your own protection. Call it in from a public phone if needed.

Same way, if your friend mentions physical abuse, particularly if it is ongoing or has just occurred. Call it in and specifically request anonymity fpr your own protection. Say you were in the area when she called and heard the incidents but didn't go in. Get them out there.

Best of luck

Peace & blessings,
7L

[MIND POWER]

I believe your friends husband needs to get a divorce! it seems like she is taking him for granted and has initiated some sort of self destruct sequence...........hahaha! that boy needs to get out! and get to neutral ground fast!

This (Dangerous) situation has completely been orchestrated by herself, and probably because this boy loves her! and love can be blind (apparently that's what they say!) probably because of this he is playing along to her wishes.........Big Mistake!

If i was this boy.

If i was this boy i would probably make my disagreement with this situation known (First with my girl!) and i would do this very calmly and gentle! when we are alone! Kiss her on the hand, give her a rose or something! knowing in my mind that this is the last time! we are going to share these intimate moments......

(I would make her understand that i care for her safety, and that's why i am in disagreement with this situation! this is not about love anymore)....

Phase 2 just for the fun of it! for my own morality as a man.


And then i would threaten this other boy (Just for the fun of it!) i would just completely make something up! again when we are alone together, i would phone you up Marie! and tell you to take your girlfriend on friends date or something.......

And i would just create a problem...

Like..

"Why are you slamming my fridge door, is there some kind of problem Mr?"

Other guy "I didn't slam your fridge door!"..

"Are you calling me a liar, BOOM! punch him in the face! and i would render him helpless! i know your game, so listen? don't ever hurt this woman!"....

Then i would make arrangements to get a divorce! forever!

[O]

Originally Posted by Shaunc

Stay out of it. Remember the Russian saying. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

That's a Russian saying? Didn't know that. Thanks!
I occasionally use that one on my boss when he starts complaining.

Originally Posted by MIND POWER

This (Dangerous) situation has completely been orchestrated by herself, and probably because this boy loves her!

I reckon I know what he loves and so does she !!......A down and out unable to pick up a prospect elsewhere.

....