If the eyes don't shine...

Originally Posted by SomewhereInTime

When I look at recent pictures of him and focus on his eyes, something deep inside me happens and I want to cry and really want to hug him. Even though I'm pretty sure he is just fine and living a happy life, but there is something deeper that I see or feel, and I can't put my finger on it. To me, his sweet face always has a hint of sadness to it.

I've seen pictures of him when he was younger (high school) and his eyes have more of a shine or sparkle to them.

Even the day I saw him in person, his eyes looked different than they do now. That day he seemed to just glow all over, at least to me he did.

Maybe that's what he needs is a hug :).

[Kiwigirl11]

I was just wondering if any of you have gone through a phase, (temporary or perminant), where your TF had lost the sparkle, the *shine* in their eyes? Since I reconnected with mine, its gone in his eyes and I can't understand it. My intuition tells me that it has to do with his current relationship and I just have this feeling of need pulling at me to help him get it back.

Yes absolutely ,i noticed how sad his eyes were ,the first time he had cut contact and i bumped into him one day ,It's so hard to explain ,but i noticed something in his eyes that i would say was more than sadness ,i know that sounds weird but it was ....I have seen people who are depressed or sad and their eyes show it ,but man this was something different what i saw,he gave me a bug smile ,seemed really happy to see me ,but those eyes .....I wanted so bad to just go and hug him but i couldn't :(

Wow. So it really seems that this happens to quite a few of us. When he spoke to me the other day he looked me in the eyes and his eyes almost surprised me. It was almost like the light went out. Like he wasn't himself anymore. He looked like the youth got sucked right out of his face. I never thought that it could be depression ..but maybe that does have to do with it. Its very hard to keep my ego from ruling my mind while I'm around him especially since he has a gf..but I'm going to do my best from now on to shine my light and love toward him when I can. I kind of feel now that he was reaching out in more ways than one when he approached me the other day for the first time since reconnecting.I can't say whether he seemed happy or sad.. he kind of just acted like a little boy so maybe he needs some nurturing. I always notice how my eyes shine around him.. and I've awakened so much since I last saw him. I just want to give him some light for those beautiful eyes!!(:

Oh...yes. When TF & I were in constant contact, his eyes sparkled/twinkled all the time. Then he abruptly cut ties but we had lunch 4 mos later & it was gone - he looked sad & lost & kept his distance physically. The conversation flowed but he didn't smile much & I thought he seemed depressed. Then when we said goodbye, he hugged me extra long & when I looked over when we were both driving away, he was staring at me with only a half smile - more sad.

After that I texted him & said "where's the TF I fell in love with? The sparkle in you eyes is gone..." He replied, "I don't know". So I said, "we'll, I know you're still in there somewhere & I don't care if it takes a lifetime, I'm going to chip away at that wall you have built up!" He just said, Thanks, Shawnee".

This is where I struggle to reach out & let him know I'm there or just let him be & hit his own rock bottom? :(

[Aponee]

All I can think of is The Killers song Read My Mind "...I don't shine if you don't shine..." :)

Shawnee, I think the very best thing for you to do is just make sure he knows that you are there for him. Sometimes things need to get really bad to bring out the good. I speak from personal experience when I say that if I hadn't hit my rock bottom, I never would be where I am at now and where I am is exactly where I need to be:)

I love the lyrics to that song, Aponee <3

Wow. I always thought about this eye thing. I had noticed it too meeting up again after our 4 year separation. A distance. I wonder if too, it happens to the other twin and they notice also. Maybe both of us don't light up again until we have everything in the bag so to speak. The eyes are the window to the soul of course. It turns out he does have clinical depression but still...

[SomewhereInTime]

Originally Posted by Jenhearther

Maybe that's what he needs is a hug :).

I'd love to be able to.

It was weird, last night I was looking around on the internet for stuff from my home state (I get homesick sometimes) and a very recent article caught my attention. The article is from a region of the state I've never been to or ever read about. The title just caught my eye.

Started reading it and found out that he was involved in this particular case. After the article they have a comment section. People were being so negative towards him. When I saw those mean comments it felt like someone hit me in the chest. The thought of anyone being mean to him or saying hurtful things to/about him really hurts me. I wanted to make some comments in his defense, but unfortunately the article was closed for further comments. I felt so protective of him, even though he probably doesn't let it get to him due to the nature of his job training. I still had that instinct. I REALLY wanted to be able to hug him last night.