TBH, I have never wanted to recall my past lives. Let's be honest...most them really sucked... Hahahaha...unfortunately, I have in fact recalled bits from most of them...LOL. Mostly having to do with near or around the time of death, which is typical, I think.
But seriously. Times were typically very hard if your lives were here on earth. Other places had their war-torn, oppressive eras as well. A small number of us had an easy life here or there, filled with joy and love and belonging. But most of us, not so much, LOL.
That said...you may have recalled some actual past-life moments or impressions, and yes a big part of that is unresolved pain. Most of it stems from either the death event, or something else traumatic in that lifetime. Meaning, someone murdered you or betrayed you, leading directly to your death...and you have unresolved pain as a result. Or something traumatic and potentially life-threatening happened to you during your lifetime, like abandonment or shunning, war-time torture, slavery, starvation or disease, or abuse and battery. Or both.
Unresolved pain and emotion are rarely as a result of a good thing. It doesn't mean there wasn't a great love between you and your family member, friend, or partner. But all I'm saying is, it was all too common to die brutally and (per usual even now) at the hand of someone you knew and loved.
The love of souls is very real, but I would caution against overly romanticising it. The anguish and confusion is every bit as real -- no matter if you died at the hand of a brother, a friend, or a partner, for example. It really doesn't matter your particular relationship...real love is real love, full stop.
I do get that as these things surface, they force us to at least momentarily look at them, sometime repeatedly. And who knows why some lives come to the fore at times whilst others do not? There is some truth contained within that is seeking to surface, is all I can make of it. And as difficult as it may be, we are often forced to deal with it and to process those truths as best we can.
I also think there is something in the universe right now that is bringing much that was hidden to light. Sometimes the reasons appear to be obvious to all...and sometimes the truths are more obscure, and may require some mulling over in the quiet realms of the heart.
I recently had another dream, the first in many years, of an earlier life where my brother killed me...not sure if he shot me first or just ran me off the roof. I am missing time right before that too. I had no idea and thought we were on some sort of day trip where he needed me (I was involved in some political underground and knew my way)...I was so happy to be spending the day with my bro helping him however he needed it. I was walking the erosion ledge for fun, petting the old folks' cat army, just acting a happy fool. I saw my own face whenever I looked at him, but I loved him very much as his own unique person.
I didn't realise, but apparently he secretly loathed me and despised our resemblance. He had resented me and perhaps also my underground activities (?). I forgave him even before I died, but the loathing and resentment may (?) still be there, carried over on his side. And I think it left me carrying a visceral fear and hopelessness. A sudden fear at the end of his murderous hatred and resentment, of the hidden barrier to the heart which I had loved but apparently never really understood. Hopelessness because he didn't want his brother's love or presence and preferred my death. I bear no anger or malice toward him or his soul, though, only love (mixed with a tinge of the remnant anxiety and hopelessness). I really didn't want to know more of this life, aside from what made him do it. I mean, who would? It's been a real drag and frankly I'm not sure why it's come up. But there it is...I'll mull it over further and see what comes to mind.
Beyond the memory of the death scene, the deeper aspects have all come to me in the last few weeks with the "dreams" of earlier moments, prior to the death scene. Mostly of awareness and feeling. It all sucks really...there is not one "good" feeling to come out of all of it, just a deeper awareness for the rubbish we all are stuck with carrying over and really must purge and deal with ASAP. I feel for all of us really, LOL...we had some really brutal and violent lives, most of us.
Unfortunately, I also don't think that a lot of these issues are necessarily mutually resolved in later lives. Some ARE resolved and reconciled, and that's truly wonderful. And I know that's probably the point and that there are probably opportunities across several lifetimes to reconcile and to share support, love, and healing.
But just as often (if not more often), you will have a situation where you are ready or able to reach out and they are not, or not adequately. Or vice versa. You have to do the best you can to either meet in the middle and do no harm, so that you can both benefit. You have to gracefully accept that no one can carry another's burden or make their choices -- meaning, success in the realm of reconciliation is always a mutual endeavour, always an mutual act of lovingkindness. And so likewise they too can choose to meet you in the middle and do no harm, or not.
These days, you don't have decades to shore things up with most folks, unless they are your parent, sibling, or child. Perhaps a few treasured friends, but not often. Spouses, neighbours, and coworkers often don't last that long either, because marriages, homes, and jobs are all shorter-lived in our modern era. Moreover, we can do great harm to a much greater number of folks nowadays, depending on how cruel or careless we are with the lives and feelings of others.
It seems we often won't get as much time as in the past to resolve things with anyone. But whether or not there is a mutual sharing of love, support, and reconciliation, I think we need to understand that the act of reaching out matters tremendously. It is the offering of love, forgiveness, and reconciliation that matters, even if the situation ultimately remains unresolved or unreconciled.
We can use this wisdom to guide us in our day-to-day lives.
The knowledge that time is very precious in this lifetime means if we want to mend fences with those in our lives, we need to act with love and courage. We need learn to reach out, to be forthright, to be true to who we are and to rise to love, forgiveness, and reconciliation in this moment. Whether we remain or part ways, ideally all should be done kindly and with love, and with the greatest respect for one another.
Peace & blessings
and much love & light to you,
7L
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