Relationship Dilema

[CrystalKitty777]

To make a long story short, back in 2015, I met someone online. We seemed to get along very well, and about a month or so, he confessed love to me. I am a bit embarrassed and reluctant to say this...but in retrospect I went along with it, partially because I'm a people pleaser, partially because I avoid conflict at all cost, partially because I might have been afraid to say no, and partially because I thought I could grow to love him. Our attraction seemed to grow more and more intense, but on my part it was just infatuation and getting caught up in his emotions and feelings [I'm extremely emphatic, so much so that I'm often not sure if I'm feeling my emotions or someone else's.] This all lasted for a little more than a year, maybe less, until one day I realized that the infatuation was gone, and I felt, for lack of a better word, nothing. I tried to force myself to feel love, but I knew better than that and stopped. Also, for reasons I will not go into, he had personal troubles and multiple identity crises, and I was swept along with it all].

I have tried to explain this to her [he became a she awhile back, though in gender, not sex] multiple times in the kindest way I could, but I might have been a bit too kind, in a way. She is still in love with me. She doesn't contact me much, but every time she does I am reminded of the whole thing over and over again. I want to let go, and have been trying to let go, for months now.

In retrospect, it's clear now that it was a karmic relationship from who knows how many life situations ago.

I'm not exactly looking for advice, though that is welcome regardless. I guess I am not sure what to say.

I do know, however, that both of us need to move on.

[FallingLeaves]

I been on both sides of your fence. Neither side is a happy place to be.

For the guy I didn't want in my life, what I really wanted was an easy out. For him to jsut go away and let me be. But he didn't want to take no for an answer. I felt really bad about it but the only thing I could think was just to ignore him. So over a period of years I mostly did just that any time he would call or text. And felt bad every time... but he mostly leaves me alone now, except for popping up in a dream now and again.

Honesty is the best for all. It's no use trying to pretend you could love someone if you "work at it"; no use dragging it out beyond its sell-by date. If you have to work at love then is it love, the stuff that comes from the heart? I reckon not. You will have shared at least a few things otherwise the issue of love wouldn't have come up. so there'll be regrets and misgivings on both sides - if so, that's to be expected.

But as I see it, you've avoided deceit. Good for you.

[CrystalKitty777]

If/when she contacts me again, I'll try to be as honest as I can, without being too blunt.

[angelic star]

It's really hard to let go of soul connections, especially if you have been connected in the past. It's like there is something deeper ingrained there, a longing that seems to pass, come and go. And we do not really have an expression for that, so it hard to completely let go of someone. It does trigger emotions even if it isn't the same.
If your feelings have changed and you want to move on, then you did right to make them aware. It would be wise to hold onto your earliest thoughts to move on, and take next steps towards your journey. If the other person is having a tough time moving on from you, they might need help to move on and it might be difficult for you to let go since you also have been connected to them in past. So be patient at this time and bear with the process, bear with them. If needed cut etheric cords with them and it will not so bad.
Be kind to yourself and don't worry too much about this. In time everything heals and falls in place, and regardless of the feelings the other person holds towards you, they will shift their energy and allow you to be as well. All the best to you on this ~

[CrystalKitty777]

Thank you very much.