Please....

[sea-dove]

Do you cleanse and charge your crystals?

[SikuX]

Originally Posted by sea-dove

Do you cleanse and charge your crystals?

It's something that's been done poorly. I was discouraged by information that was false before. Going with the belief system and simple cleansing along with some Citrine frequencies. Maybe even aquire it physically soon in order to have it do it for me as doing it makes me mindful to them and gives them a power they think they have over me as they know I am doing it. Going to be more thorough and staying hopeful. :)

Newest update : Went to church again with my sister and gained a new epiphany. Belief is belief. I took what worked for me along with it. We shouldn't limit ourselves and take in energies when they are in the right place. And I am now even more in tune with my mind as well as my spirit. Almost like I am catching up. ;)

It accomplished a lot within me and I now feel them shaking more and mostly in my root chakra. Going through the motions again but now with lighter feet.

I'm confident the final push or pushes are near! I was awakened prematurely by my twin flame and my vibration and belief system was not strong enough and required confirmation which it has been given. Now, time to fight without having to actually fight a shadow self. They are not me. <3

Thank you everyone! I'm doing my best to stay vigilant that she's on the other side waiting for me... and they don't continue to use my romantic nature against me further. A trap I'm always going to welcome because what's on the other side is all I ever wanted. <3

SikuX
Glad to hear that you are finding your way.

What you learn now will be useful in many areas of
your life and in future situations.

[SikuX]

Originally Posted by ImthatIm

SikuX
Glad to hear that you are finding your way.

What you learn now will be useful in many areas of
your life and in future situations.

Thank you very much! Sending positivity to you and yours as many thanks as further confirmation.

[SikuX]

I fell for it... I took a nap with what felt like her opening up to me finally and woke up with the entirely unexplainable problems other than I feel like my body is foreign and my eyes are elsewhere in my face. I'm over embedded with significant hexes.... Including something embarrassingly being shrunk. It has to be witchcraft! Malleus Maleficarum comes to mind!

Please... anyone... who doesn't have their hands out (out of work for months over this) who are capable of healing remotely. Please!! This is so wrong on so many levels! Either this karmic is very much against my union or it's far more deeper than that! Underneath all of this I am still positive of what I am, and every thing I throw at this situation; I'm retaliated with even worse to break my character. I don't feel human... and I have this disgusting semen feeling in my gut all the time. I've now lost my aspirations in life without even having the chance at it in the first place. Ancestral cursing? Womanizers and abusers walk around having relations with any woman they see without getting hexed, yet, some twisted person comes after me. An innocent virgin. Where are you karma? I did nothing.... This is something greater at play here.

Bringing out the chessboard again!

And I recently discovered they gallivant on a forum bragging about receiving my love anonymously and flirt with other guys as I'm blocked and gas lighted. It has to be karmic! Just after all that progress too. They can't bear to lose anything. So, they take the very thing I need most along with them to keep me stuck with them as a pet? I'd rather die....

I know how absurd this all sounds and I hope none of this gets my in trouble. I can't afford to be banned from here over this. I am on my last leg.

Things don't like what I say. Clearly. I refuse to let narcissism and the dark think they will prevail!

[SikuX]

Got in touch with my divine masculinity despite it being sucked dry for a long while. Especially after getting in touch with my spirit animal. It wielded much less anxiety and stress that was given by the mind broken other end but I still feel plenty of enemies in me.
Had a strange dream of someone on a computer moving me out the way and trying to go into a back door as I slowly turned back into feminine energy behind them.

Fighting it all off currently. The divine masculine energy worries them greatly and someone in me was balling their eyes out when I started to get grasp of it again. Whatever this is, does not like it showing on my halve. I'm starting to lean more towards them purposely trying to get my twin flame with my energy.
Not one for finger pointing but if it helps anyone willing to help or guide; These enemies are Russian, I gathered that much over time. Whilst whom I 'thought' was my Twin Flame is Norwegian.

I'm curious if there is a way to stop the mirroring of my flame on the other end if this is not a karmic flame? Because I feel as if I keep getting her karmic while she roams free. I wanted nothing to do with this woman when I snapped and got a hold of myself along with my yang energy. To wake up after that dream to the same anxiety and ailments all over again. Is Yang energy a viable source for something that I'm unaware of? It's almost if she's using things to keep her problems on me rather than addressing them herself. All this swaying... Those are my two latest theories.


Excuse this journal please. It helps.

Good day to everyone.

[SikuX]

I'm putting down my arms. I'm conceding defeat and whatever may come.

I've tried even going to a really old cathedral and holy water... They do not budge. Only relief.

I've now deleted my facebook and pushed everyone I love away. I've turned into a hermit. I've lost everyone I love over these faces and anger put on me that is not me. No one believes me despite being a pillar for everyone previously. I have nothing.

All this quote on quote robust and highly praised healers who are about karma, etc. Where are you?!

Self-justified in your healing yet want something in return for it always. I say, you don't deserve your gifts if you only do it for self gain! World, strike me down further for calling out people in their hypocrisy.

I know I sound melodramatic and negative but if you were in my shoes and did all that I have done lately, you'd probably feel the same.

My strong will and character has been torn into a million pieces and each new day brings a new thing that sounds too insane to believe....

Only my typing shows a flicker of my old self. My body, and especially my face is not my own anymore... I can't even look in the mirror without expressions being shown that are not my own or a guilt from something in me not wanting to even look at me in the mirror over all this.

[FoxTracks]

Siku,

I have been, pretty much to an exact tee, where you are. I promise. It lasted for years. I was destroyed over and over again internally, and the only reason I made it out was because I was saved. It was hell. Isolation, sexual beings, dream invasions, being flooded with negative energies and feelings.

Otherwise, I would be dead, after having been on the street.

But lately I have discovered it was all for a reason.

I can discuss it more with you, and possibly help you by helping you learn to help yourself (It's not your fault you're not equipped to deal with this. It's beyond the scope of someone's ability to deal with it alone without lots of resources, tools, and spiritual allies.) Some of it is personal, though, and I'm not sure I feel fully comfortable discussing it in this thread.

I think you have a calling, just like I do :)

[sea-dove]

Originally Posted by SikuX

Self-justified in your healing yet want something in return for it always. I say, you don't deserve your gifts if you only do it for self gain! World, strike me down further for calling out people in their hypocrisy.

I know I sound melodramatic and negative but if you were in my shoes and did all that I have done lately, you'd probably feel the same.

and why should others who do not know you owe you things? I paid heaps of money out to healers, every single week for about 3 years when I was going through major issues with entities and past life stuff and could not fix what was going on myself. It was the only thing which was helping even if much of the stuff was coming back at the time or more stuff surfacing for clearing. I really appreciated the ones who were helping me for what they were doing and knew there are not many out there doing as rare work as they were.

Cause I appreciated them so much, the money they were receiving didn't matter (though I certainly didn't have a lot of money and this was impacting on me and my family financially A LOT).

(if you go to a top class heart surgeon or hire someone to do some work which there isn't many who have that training.. dont you pay the person? so how is it not that anothers time is not valuable? Do you ever consider that they may of paid out a lot themselves to learn their gifts from another? Good healing teachers are far and few between a lot of travel may be involved.. I've had to travel interstate away from my children I had at home at the time, to learn some of the healing methods I've learnt. I could of brought a new car with what I paid to study various healing modalities). Im grateful to those who have helped me learn things and to those who I have had healings with.

sorry but I felt like I had to speak out at your critizism of healers as so many of them are wonderful (even if they are receiving money). The ones I was seeing it was how they made their living and without money they simply would not have been doing it and would of had to be doing a regular line of work to financially survive.

[SikuX]

Originally Posted by sea-dove

and why should others who do not know you owe you things? I paid heaps of money out to healers, every single week for about 3 years when I was going through major issues with entities and past life stuff and could not fix what was going on myself. It was the only thing which was helping even if much of the stuff was coming back at the time or more stuff surfacing for clearing. I really appreciated the ones who were helping me for what they were doing and knew there are not many out there doing as rare work as they were.

Cause I appreciated them so much, the money they were receiving didn't matter (though I certainly didn't have a lot of money and this was impacting on me and my family financially A LOT).

(if you go to a top class heart surgeon or hire someone to do some work which there isn't many who have that training.. dont you pay the person? so how is it not that anothers time is not valuable? Do you ever consider that they may of paid out a lot themselves to learn their gifts from another? Good healing teachers are far and few between a lot of travel may be involved.. I've had to travel interstate away from my children I had at home at the time, to learn some of the healing methods I've learnt. I could of brought a new car with what I paid to study various healing modalities). I'm grateful to those who have helped me learn things and to those who I have had healings with.

sorry but I felt like I had to speak out at your criticism of healers as so many of them are wonderful (even if they are receiving money). The ones I was seeing it was how they made their living and without money they simply would not have been doing it and would of had to be doing a regular line of work to financially survive.

I understand that point of view. You do what you have to survive especially if clients or people approaching you are scarce. I also believe people should be given thanks for their services. I don't mean imply otherwise.

My point of view is, higher thinking in general. I'm in a very dark place and I'm trying my best to keep my head clear and positive so please understand that while I type the things that I do; That should go without saying.
I very much want to be a healer once I get out of this situation. I have already acquired so many sensitivities to energy over all this and I literally can feel what each stone and mother earth does for me in different situations now. I've mostly kept that that to myself but now I don't see the point of not sharing it anymore. The longer I am in this the more I take from it but I'm very close to losing my family and being on the streets over this now. I've lost everything else.

I don't want pity either. I just don't see eye to eye on the view of being 'wise' and a healer and expecting money. I just don't. There's a certain line that shouldn't be crossed. Lay idle with your gifts when you see something extreme? That's my beliefs is all. Everyone's entitled to take what they want from it. I consider it constructive criticism and gifts shouldn't turn into a purely business front. I'm a person of empathy, compassion, and mercy before anything else. Maybe I'm lacking knowledge I'm unaware of that costs money in this situation but even then, I guess until I'm on the other end of this; I'll continuously criticize constructively.

Personally, I lost my job and these entities fuel off of old anxieties of my past to the point where I can no longer even drive. I've spent over $500 on things to combat this after I lost my job (constant call-outs) when I should've just went to someone offering services perhaps. Too late now. So I have no finances. I'm not being a cheapskate or unappreciative. I'm very much a hard working self sustaining manual laborer since I was 14 whom has not asked for a single handout and has given to the homeless and tipped large everywhere I went my entire life (defending my character to make a point that it's not pure cynicism).

I'm just a man whose going through the unbelievable and desperate is all. Don't take my words to heart please. I apologize if people take it personal. I was venting.