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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #1  
Old 21-01-2011, 07:40 PM
din
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Enlightenment at the end of the tunnel

By Kathleen Dowling Singh


Living with terminal illness, confronting death, transforms us with a magnitude and intensity beyond anything we can imagine in the apparent safety and security of our health. It is a long, painful, frightening, and lonely course that strips us of so much of who we thought ourselves to be--appearances we took for granted, abilities we always assumed, roles in life with which we've identified. Even the capacity to remain in cramped negative emotions slips away. In our dying, all that has held our sense of "me" together becomes unraveled.

All these losses are frightening to contemplate and profoundly difficult to endure. And yet, surprisingly, at some point in the process of living at the edge of life--for some sooner, for some later--people seem to discover there is also a curious liberation and newfound grace in the transformations they are experiencing. In a deeply interior way, this can be a profound and beautiful passage that empties the mind, opens the heart, and expands our awareness into the landscape of Spirit. It is my conviction that dying is far more a spiritual event than a medical one, and it is my hope that the spiritual dimensions of death and dying will soon be met with widespread and heartfelt recognition.


I spent six years working with hospice patients. I have had the opportunity to be with hundreds of people as they neared death and as they died, the chance to sit with them, listen to them, breathe with them, and meditate with them in their last days, hours, and moments.

Such vigils disclose an awareness of further and deeper dimensions to life. Sitting by the bedside of someone dying, you become very aware that there is not only this world of bodies and things we know so well but also an already interpenetrating, vast, streaming, more subtle world saturated with the sacred. When someone is dying, a veil is parted, almost literally, and we are granted a glimpse of the sacred as it reveals itself. It becomes overwhelmingly apparent that we
are
spiritual beings and that the awareness of the dying person is naturally expanding into the radiant grace of Spirit.

I spent six years working with hospice patients. I have had the opportunity to be with hundreds of people as they neared death and as they died, the chance to sit with them, listen to them, breathe with them, and meditate with them in their last days, hours, and moments.

Such vigils disclose an awareness of further and deeper dimensions to life. Sitting by the bedside of someone dying, you become very aware that there is not only this world of bodies and things we know so well but also an already interpenetrating, vast, streaming, more subtle world saturated with the sacred. When someone is dying, a veil is parted, almost literally, and we are granted a glimpse of the sacred as it reveals itself. It becomes overwhelmingly apparent that we
are
spiritual beings and that the awareness of the dying person is naturally expanding into the radiant grace of Spirit.


One daughter I worked with in hospice witnessed her father's transformation while caring for him in the last few weeks of his life. She described the power and awe of watching her father, whom she had described as a resisting, angry, controlling personality, find, in her beautiful phrase, his "spiritual grounding." She felt that at the end of his life, he found what he had spent all the decades before secretly seeking: surrender, peacefulness, relaxation, and openness to love--both given and received, both human and divine. Thich Nhat Hanh describes the transformation this way: "Enlightenment for a wave is the moment that the wave realizes that it is water. At that moment, all fear of death disappears."

If you love someone who is dying, beyond the physical caregiving, listen with your whole being, pray together, simply be together. Allow his or her attention to move toward the very center of Being, its natural direction near death. It may comfort you to know, as your loved one will discover, that deep spiritual transformation is going on within that beloved body. Stay as close as you can to your loved one during all the stages of Chaos, Surrender, and Transcendence. This is their soul work and can be yours as well. This will not change the excruciating pain of grief, but you will know that you participated in a transformation that is inexpressible, unforgettable, and beautifully real.



http://www.kathleendowlingsingh.com/articles.html
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  #2  
Old 21-01-2011, 09:36 PM
deepsea
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Beautiful description of one who is passing into spirit.

I felt what you felt while my husband was dying. I also sat with my grandson after he passed away and the peace in the hospital room was transcendant.

Deepsea
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  #3  
Old 03-02-2011, 10:33 AM
Blondie
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I will try to take comfort in your words as my 18 year old daughter has a degenerative terminal illness.It's robbing her mental and physical abilities.So very hard to watch your child suffer like this and can do nothing as there is no cure.
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  #4  
Old 03-02-2011, 12:29 PM
Tiss Tiss is offline
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My thoughts are with you Blondie.

You have a lot to do for her. Stay with her, hold her hand, caress her, speak sweet words, recall memories and images of the good times, sing her preferred song if any despite you think she is hearing or not. And the most important, let her feel you in peace, with no desperation. All this will help you both very much during this hard transitional time.

The situation requires a big strength from you, hope you find it here or wherever.
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  #5  
Old 11-02-2011, 02:55 PM
spiritualysurrounded
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Blondie,

Do you talk about the afterlife with her. do you help her understand. if you do there is a really good book by a priest, "My Time In Heaven" it is a really good book. this priest dies for 8 hrs in a car crash. and he writes about his journey. he was meant to go through this for us. to write this book. he talks about meeting jesus and being at God's thorn.

i personally have a terminal illness also. and i really appreciate what Din has to say. I have been by the side of some one dieing. and i had the privilege of saying the last words to her as she lay there in bed. "i wish i could remember what i said" but there very personal words and maybe i forgot cause the women that passed caused me to forget. that moment calmed her in such a way she looked at me looked at her family took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"I told her how beautiful it was there. that it was ok. she was going to love it. trust me iv been there"

it was as if she view this from authority. and looked at me like if you say so i trust you.

that moment is so personal to me. it makes me cry to relive it and i haven't relived it like this in a long time, so thank you Din i feel her sitting next to me also saying thanks. wanting me to see how i helped her. iv had tearful eyes through this whole post.

this just came to me. i think she is talking to me.... I miss her.
I'm going to leave this post like this, it was as if i was automatic writing through that last part.

i was writing and i was really up set cause i wanted to share my personal experience as some one that has experienced the passage to the after life. and that exsisted on that side for a moment. and when i went to write it i completely for got. then i was sitting here just shrugging it off and it was as if she was here telling me what i said to her. I remember it being so calming to my self and her. i was so proud at what i said to her. to this day i think about how i helped her. she was my ex-wife's mom. and died suddenly. and very quickly.

but it was gorgeous, surreal, honestly i had the moment of fear for the few weeks fallowing it. becouse i felt as if her family thought i gave a reason to go over. a reason not to fight. that it was my words that let her go. i still kinda feel this way.

but trust me from some one that understands a little about this, the passage alone is worth life and its struggles. then to see that first moment of existing with her. existing with the universe. being part of her. it is amazing moment.

i watched my grandmother die also. from aggressive lung cancer. near the end every one was wanting her to fight, to go through it. that we needed her. we didn't want her to go. made her take treatment just to prolong her life for another week.

I hated this so much. after seeing what i have seen. and understand what i do. watching my grandmother pass taught me it truly takes a loved one to know when to much is to much. and to truly put faith in the afterlife for the family. i watched from a distinct praying for god to take her as quick as posible, to teach our family that they need to let her go. that its safe its pleasant. its rewarding, but that they needed to let her go. i was able to keep this kind of heart with out a tear not out of aggression but love. i truly knew. and i knew it was going to be OK for her. I think its more fearful for the relatives then it is for the person taking the passage.

this is where i slipped and regret it. I was the lesson for my family, and i never stepped up to the plate. i watched and prayed. i was the answer to my prayer. but it was authority figures. aunts, uncles, daughters and sons of her. i felt as if they would put me aside as being young and misinformed.
this is something i wish i could change.
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  #6  
Old 12-02-2011, 11:17 PM
Blondie
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Her dad died of the same illness when she was 10,he was only 35 himself.She has the juvenile form.A long time ago before she lost too much of her mental ability I told her daddy would be waiting for her in heaven.She never grew up really,this illness has kept her like a child.Her speech is now poor and it is hard to understand her all the time.I'm scared I will not have the strength to get through this and watch her suffer with Huntington's Disease anymore.It hurts me so much to watch her suffering.It's like I am dying with her.I see only grieving ahead forever when she passes.I grieve now for the life she should of had.
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  #7  
Old 13-02-2011, 09:32 AM
Xan Xan is offline
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Blondie... May I gently say to you that in all our life and death the one thing that matters most is the love.

If you will take the courage to begin to let go of your suffering and feel the love within you and within her you will have a very different experience through this difficult challenge.


blessings
Xan
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Go within, beloveds. Go deep within to the Heart of your Being.
The Truth is found there and nowhere else.-Sananda

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  #8  
Old 13-02-2011, 11:37 AM
Emmalevine Emmalevine is offline
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Blondie can I just say my thoughts are with you at this time. I can only imagine how deeply painful this experience is for you all and I really feel for you.
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  #9  
Old 13-02-2011, 05:23 PM
spiritualysurrounded
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Blondie,
I feel you could use something other then hang in there love this god this, that.. you know. I dont know what to say really, I feel very touched by your experince. My mother her self had to watch me die every year for the past 8 years. well not completely every time. but i have passed over, and i go on life support every year. so im always fighting death its self. you gave me an understanding at what she was feeling as she would watch me. thank you.

what i can offer though. is one experince i had with my grandmother. she became very sick very quick with lung cancer. the family tried everything to keep her around. everything. I after fighting so hard saw my grandmother a different way. I prayed to god to take her quick. it was actually harder to watch her pain then to deal with her leaving. I knew through experince she was going to be taken care of. that she would be able to care for her self. that where she was going i had saw and approved of for any one. not that that helps. but that's kind of how i felt at the time. I had seen it. I knew what it was she was becoming through death. and i was ok with it. not just ok but excited also.

one of her last words were, she looked at my mom and told her she understood what it was corey had been through. it made me cry. becouse i also understood it from my point of view looking at it this way. i had actually asked the doctors why they fought so hard to keep me alive.

there isn't a book that can comfort you through this. i beleave you will find it in the care you allow your self to receive and your daughter through what you allow in. personally. i have a very strong connection to god. not through the bible, or church. mine personally came from the knowing that when i first got sick i truly felt like a soldier of god, creation, life. the ability to have the privilege to find this kind of strength i walked my life and it strengthened it through just believing this. i found my comfort in my actions. my love,
i at the same time am not trying to replace anything either, just looking for a purpose to my madness.
something wants me to say, that its not you becoming a soldier of god. but what you beleave you deserve through being a soldier. at the same time im not just a believer in him. i see many and love it all. if called upon i would stand up. by any of her( the universe) .
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