Being at peace around negative people

Over the years many of my friends and I have struggled with negative people in our lives. Sooner or later we would find ourselves wanting to get away from these people. I realize there are some reasons for this. They do tend tend to drain us of energy. We are also taught ideas like you become who you spend your time with. And from a law of attraction point of view it makes some sense.

Sometimes I think though, we may perceive people as being negative thereby wanting to avoid them when just a little patience and understanding would make their situation, and ours better. At other times some people are genuinely negative and there is nothing you can really do to help them until they are ready.

However, I have been wondering. Is it possible to be at ease with people who are negative or those whom we perceive as being negative? What I mean is can you be around these types of people and remain positive if not neutral?

Part of my reasons for asking this is so that I can be more accepting of others without walls. Also I want to find the good in other people while not expecting them to be a certain way. Since everyone encounters negative people at some point, wouldn't it make sense to be able to handle them as just part of life.

I am not suggesting that we spend our time with negative people and by no means am I recommending staying in an abusive relationship. I am just looking for better ways to live. Any thoughts?

[twinkle]

Good question. I just want to enjoy peaceful company. Although I look for the good in people and try to remain neutral, others like to remain negative complaining about this or that when I would rather focus on the positive and not get stressed over what I or they cannot change. I mean you can complain all you want, but it is not going to get you anywhere.

Originally Posted by twinkle

Good question. I just want to enjoy peaceful company. Although I look for the good in people and try to remain neutral, others like to remain negative complaining about this or that when I would rather focus on the positive and not get stressed over what I or they cannot change. I mean you can complain all you want, but it is not going to get you anywhere.

Thanks. I agree with your views on that. Complaining gets you nowhere except maybe feeling worse.

On the other hand I have found myself in a situation where, the more I resisted their negativity the more they pulled me into it. At the time I wasn't in the position to avoid this person. Instead I had tell them when they were becoming too negative, and enforce boundaries. It worked okay but I still felt as if I were putting way to much energy into keeping peace.

After a while I learned how to practice detachment and not taking their whining so seriously like in an almost carefree way. That worked better and I found they would take themselves less seriously if I did that, but I could still feel their pull. Now I am finding myself far less affected by their negativity and can even enjoy helping them feel more positive.

So even though I prefer to be around positive people, I do feel more at peace if I am around negative people. Considering we live in a world with negative people I think it would help to learn how to be at peace around them. Your thoughts please.

What you really need to do is assess whether or not these are people you really want/need in your life. I have interacted with people like that all throughout my life that have affected me the same way and thought I was neutral and for what its worth, they did not impact my personality, but they did exhaust me and make me depressed at times. Some people can learn to shield themselves from that but that takes practice. I have made a conscious choice to cut people out of my life who affected me the way you are affected and I am much more at peace for that choice now.........and alot less drained.

However, there is another possibility that you might not have considered simply for the fact that most people don't. That is the possibility that some of these people are possessed by demons. Demonic possession does exist and it is not as dramatic as Hollywood makes it out to be. It is far more subtle than that. I only say that because some people close to me have been possessed and it nearly almost killed some of them. There are people who have dark sides (that can be balanced with their good sides) and people who are completely possessed and they go about their business just like everyone else and sometimes the only indicator you can get that they have that dominant of a dark side is the fact that you are ill-at-ease around them or they drain you. I can reflect on more and more experience I have had with people who I have learned are possessed or have been so if you have any questions (or if anyone does), please feel free to PM me.

And on a footnote, even if they are possessed, they are not lost causes. If you know these people have a good side and you can cope with how they affect you, then feel free to keep those people in your life if you can handle it.

I always try to find the good in people also. Even when I know they're bad news.
I choose to just be around all sorts. A balanced mix of the positive and negative kind of folk. It keeps things interesting. You don't just want to be around one sort.

[CrystalSong]

Think potato chips - enjoy small doses on occasion, just don't make a steady diet of them. =D

[Belle]

The issue is not with other people, if they press your buttons they are your buttons that are being pressed.

When you are at peace with the self - your own good self - then you won't notice positive or negative. All will be accepted.

I really struggle with this as I would prefer to point the finger but I know the people who might me go grr are my most precious teachers.

Thanks Lady Impreza1111,
I never thought about that some people might be possessed by demons. That would be very sad. I hope that they could be helped.

Thanks CharlotteCentauri
I think I feel same way. It's good to enjoy the contrast. Also negative people can be good teachers.

Belle,
You have a great point! More often when I am upset with a persons behaviour it is me.

Thanks everyone with the helpful ideas. I just started reading, "How to Win Friends, and Influence People". In the book it suggests to avoid finding fault with someone if at all possible and be genuinely as appreciative as much possible without expectation of something in return. I am really surprised at the results that I am seeing. Although I must admit when a person has been in the habit of being critical I want to resist them but I find if I can stay calm long enough, and nurture their positivity they warm up a little. I think what it comes down to is some people get into a pattern, and you just have to patiently guide them out. Even though it takes energy when dealing with them I feel good because I don't have cut them out either. Besides if I am ever feeling stuck it would be so great to have someone being patient with me.

[Tobi]

Doing this is harder than it sounds, well for me anyway.
Today was a beautiful spring day, and I went for a walk in the orchard to appreciate the sunlight, and tune into Nature, and feel my heart energies (a little meditation of mine while walking) I felt the heart energies warming up like an engine as I listened to the birds, and felt gratitude.
I heard someone working in the orchard, hammering poles in to support trees. I walked past until I saw the person, an elderly man wearing a hat. I smiled, and said "hello". He greeted me.
As I was walking past still smiling a little I heard him say something so said "pardon?"
"Very rude" he said in a stuffy cut-glass kind of way, "Can't be bothered to answer when I say 'good afternoon'?"
It wasn't just his words, it was a beam of something terribly sour and nasty.
"I greeted you and smiled" I said "And I'm so sorry because when you also greeted me I didn't hear you say anything else".
"Well I did."
"And I'm sorry.....it's a beautiful day isn't it?"
"What??"
"A beautiful day?"
"Hmph!" he said "Very rude."

I should have found this hilariously funny....but unfortunately his atmosphere lingered with me in a very sour way and I found it hard to shift it.
I sat quietly when I got home as I was shaking from head to foot, and my heartbeat was hammering! I did a breath meditation, breathing in the sunlight and breathing out the negative intrusion. I couldn't raise Unconditional Love for him, I have to admit. But I did ask that he might be one day given something very lovely that would make him melt all that bitterness away, and sent a blessing as best I could.

Later I could tell I still hadn't let go of it! He was still lingering....it was a dreadful feeling. I connected with the things that mean most to me, changed the subject, and now things are better, and he's gone.
But my goodness! Who would have expected such a thing to have had such a bad effect!?

Originally Posted by Tobi

Doing this is harder than it sounds, well for me anyway.
Today was a beautiful spring day, and I went for a walk in the orchard to appreciate the sunlight, and tune into Nature, and feel my heart energies (a little meditation of mine while walking) I felt the heart energies warming up like an engine as I listened to the birds, and felt gratitude.
I heard someone working in the orchard, hammering poles in to support trees. I walked past until I saw the person, an elderly man wearing a hat. I smiled, and said "hello". He greeted me.
As I was walking past still smiling a little I heard him say something so said "pardon?"
"Very rude" he said in a stuffy cut-glass kind of way, "Can't be bothered to answer when I say 'good afternoon'?"
It wasn't just his words, it was a beam of something terribly sour and nasty.
"I greeted you and smiled" I said "And I'm so sorry because when you also greeted me I didn't hear you say anything else".
"Well I did."
"And I'm sorry.....it's a beautiful day isn't it?"
"What??"
"A beautiful day?"
"Hmph!" he said "Very rude."

I should have found this hilariously funny....but unfortunately his atmosphere lingered with me in a very sour way and I found it hard to shift it.
I sat quietly when I got home as I was shaking from head to foot, and my heartbeat was hammering! I did a breath meditation, breathing in the sunlight and breathing out the negative intrusion. I couldn't raise Unconditional Love for him, I have to admit. But I did ask that he might be one day given something very lovely that would make him melt all that bitterness away, and sent a blessing as best I could.

Later I could tell I still hadn't let go of it! He was still lingering....it was a dreadful feeling. I connected with the things that mean most to me, changed the subject, and now things are better, and he's gone.
But my goodness! Who would have expected such a thing to have had such a bad effect!?

I totally get where you're coming from . Abraham Hicks calls that higher state the Vortex. When I go on a trip or get myself into vortex somehow and then I am blasted with somebodies negs it's like an even bigger shock then when I am out.

Do you think maybe you had some kind of judgment about this persons state and perhaps tried to control the outcome for them. That's something I have noticed myself and other people doing. Sometimes it's not always about what we want for them, but trying to be aware of what they might want for them.

It's good you noticed yourself thinking, "I should have found this hilariously funny". That sounds like you may have had a judgment about yourself even. May I suggest changing the dialog from "I could" to "I should".