Dear TJ
I am so sorry for having disappointed you. I know you were really in love with me and I hurt you and disappointed you. But I was actually in trouble with myself and it was not easy to put it all in the right words, right actions, not even the right feelings and thoughts. Everything inside of me was confusion and pain, and it was as if I was not ready yet for your love. But your jealousy behaviour just made me worse, I needed to feel your love and acceptance, that was the most important for me. The days we were truly happy together were the best of my life. I will never forget them, as much as I would like to. But your jealousy didn't let you see I loved you the most and I would not betray you or lie to you in anyway, my heart was truly yours, my soul was in touch with yours. Truly.
And then you changed so much, you became a very different person. More than one person noticed that, not only me. Or maybe you have changed just for the people that were not really important to you. You were so kind and comprehensive and you became so distant, so cold. You have hurt me in many ways: with your words, with your distance, with your attitudes. I became sick and that was not your fault, but missing you, needing you and having your support would have kept me stronger, and listening you say "You don't need me to be happy you just think you do, you are obsessed", it felt like you didn't understand me at all. Maybe you have tried, maybe the distance might have been the best for us. Even when we had a second chance, I feel I didn't give the best of me, you were expecting much more from me - not towards you, but towards life - but I was so weak, I was so vulnerable and so sick. I am sorry if I overwhelmed you somehow, I am sorry if I was a burden to you in anyway.
I just wish we could let go of our past and meet again and see if we still have something in common. I am not at peace with myself because I feel something went wrong because of me. Things are changing so fast, we are in different cycles. I just wish life could give us another chance because I still feel so connected to you.
I miss the person you were before, I miss you so much. You are a really good person, I know you are. I FEEL you are. Even when you come up with words and attitudes that hurt, even when you keep your silence, even when you are selfish.
I feel there are so many things left unsaid and undone, we really should have another chance to make up and express what needs to be expressed. I believe the attraction between us it not merely physical.
I have grown so much, I bet you would be proud of who I am right now, I bet I am a person you would enjoy to speak to and be with.
I am a calm person now and find my own tranquility and serenity, you would be so amazed by my progresses. I am not a slave of my past, of my pain and suffering anymore. I am free, I am calling you. I feel open for you to get to know me.
You are still important to me and I am still missing you, not in a painful way anymore as I did for a long time... I learned to move on and it hurt a lot and I felt it was so unfair for me to lose you, I bet no one loved you as I did. This might seem childish, but my feelings were intense and honest. I loved you for who you were inside. You inspired me, truly. That is the think I loved the most about you - you were strong and determinate and you inspired me. You had a feeling inside that you held on to, that drived you, that lifted you somehow. You inspired me. You still do.
I feel there will be more going on between us, but this time I won't let you down, you will be so surprised.
About the next step of your life... you are almost doing it, relax, what is meant to be yours, will come to you and you will reach it somehow. WHat is meant to be yours, is already yours...
You will always have my admiration and support
I Love You and Always Will
Love,
Leah
Interactive Healing - Write a letter and give someone a word of comfort
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