Will people always come and go?

Beautywithin · #1 12-10-2017, 05:41 PM

So this year has been a big eye opener, i worked along side my TF (well that's what i thought he was at the time) and Best Friend, it was becoming difficult working there with my TF there so many ups and downs, my friend was having issues with her Love Life and she was becoming very snappy with me, i decided to leave that job as it was all making me really unhappy.

Fast forward 5 months and I've not heard a thing from my TF since i left that job, and lately my best friend has been very distant, we used to text every day, now she can go weeks without texting, if i text she just reply's simple one word answers. i obviously don't see her every day like i used to,

but i find it sad after years of friendship my TF and best friend just drop me like that.

throughout my life I've never had a friend who has stayed close for longer than a few years, Maybe i'm just not good enough, but i try my hardest to keep the people i care about in my life, i'd never just drop someone just because i don't see them on a daily basis.

Lightwaves · #2 12-10-2017, 07:55 PM

Hey. The reality you experience is showing things that are unpleasing. Knowing someone deeply and through the problems that life throws at us is something that our souls crave. The flow of energy going into your experience causes distress but it also shows your deeper heart. What is it that you really are wanting and not getting? If you can't get it, then sometimes it flows in ways to cover it. If it doesn't work and that deep desire still remains one choice is left that life will bring us to however it can. Surrender. Surrender to the love that is with you all of the time. When that occurs fully and completely then life will flow fully as you want in an experiential way 100%. Your greatest deep and very real joy will be experienced and even if you can't experience it now it is there calling to you. This is a way it is using to beckon you to it.

blackraven · #3 12-10-2017, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beautywithin

So this year has been a big eye opener, i worked along side my TF (well that's what i thought he was at the time) and Best Friend, it was becoming difficult working there with my TF there so many ups and downs, my friend was having issues with her Love Life and she was becoming very snappy with me, i decided to leave that job as it was all making me really unhappy.

Fast forward 5 months and I've not heard a thing from my TF since i left that job, and lately my best friend has been very distant, we used to text every day, now she can go weeks without texting, if i text she just reply's simple one word answers. i obviously don't see her every day like i used to,

but i find it sad after years of friendship my TF and best friend just drop me like that.

throughout my life I've never had a friend who has stayed close for longer than a few years, Maybe i'm just not good enough, but i try my hardest to keep the people i care about in my life, i'd never just drop someone just because i don't see them on a daily basis.

Hi Beautywithin. This post caught my attention as I've had a series of friends throughout the years that came into my life, made significant impacts, then they walked away with never a word again. Sometimes I yearn for friendships with fellow females, but I no longer permit myself to even seek them out or let anyone get close to me. I suppose I'm protecting myself from the pain of feeling like I disappoint people after they initially are drawn to me and sometimes have a fascination fixation. I don't mean to sound like I'm on an ego trip, as I'm not. I'm just drawing from past real experiences.

I fondly remember each and every one of them and often ask myself, "What lessons did I learn while I was 'friends' with this individual?" I tend to attract people that ultimately end up judging me for my flaws. It seems like that has been the problem, letting people's image or imagined image of me down. I am a flawed person and I don't do well with negative people that turn negativity on me or judge me. I sometimes was the one that broke off friendships for this reason.

I'm fortunate to have a spouse as my best friend. He has been the only constant in my life.

Friends will come and go throughout ones lifetime. Some will be intense, some will be dysfunctional, some will be obsessive and some will simply mirror the other. There is nothing wrong with you. I wouldn't think that you are 'causing' these friends to leave. People change and have different needs and expectations out of friends. It's a delicate dance. Some come into ones life simply to spend just a short period teaching the other something unique to that particular friendship. If friends is what one desires, the law of attraction will bring them into ones environment. Essentially though, I feel it's important to just always be true to oneself, be genuine, be honest and forget judging others for their flaws as everyone has them.

#4 13-10-2017, 08:49 AM

weird....double post on editing. When the server is un-busy it overdoes things a bit!

#5 13-10-2017, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beautywithin

but i find it sad after years of friendship my TF and best friend just drop me like that.

It's a sad fact that location comes into it as being in close proximity means you can go out together and share activities more often. I've kept up with a couple of classmates from secondary (in Surrey) and college but only because we're in contact through business. I suspect people I regard as true friends around where I live now (Brighton) will fall away were I to move away. Sad when it comes down to "ships passing in the night."

Quote:

throughout my life I've never had a friend who has stayed close for longer than a few years, Maybe i'm just not good enough, but i try my hardest to keep the people i care about in my life, i'd never just drop someone just because i don't see them on a daily basis.

Nothing really to do with being not good enough. You're in a different league from most. I know roughly what you mean as I feel the same. Most people these days are self-possessed and victims of the instant gratification ethos. Most live in their smartphones; face to face is limited to workplaces. Many friendships are around the workplace as it's a socialising hub too. Otherwise it's special interest groups (like I do a few sessions of keep fit per week and pop out on occasion with others there. But I sense if I left a group (with promises to keep in touch) the contacts would soon tail off.) I dare say that in time you'll encounter friendships that endure longer. Let's at least hope for better times.

#6 14-10-2017, 07:24 AM

I had a glimpse at your profile and if you'll excuse me saying so you are in a different league. It must take some dedication in your profession these days and, as things are, finding time to make friends. Are you on the wards? (please don't feel obliged to answer here if it ventures too far into your privacy). I comment because I recently joined a demo over the ridiculous pay cap.

Nature Grows · #7 14-10-2017, 10:06 PM

In my experience, people kinda drift apart, still see each other every now an then but its not the same as it use to be. When we were kids to teenagers me an my friends would hang out from dawn till dusk or dusk to dawn a lot of the time, now people are grown an have responsibilities like work, kids or family stuff.

Brucely · #8 16-10-2017, 03:03 AM

Friendship is a 2 way street. Find someone who finds you so fascinating that they want to spend every day with you, and you find it so fascinating that they think u are fascinating. Or vice versa

LiberatedLotus · #9 02-11-2017, 06:28 PM

To answer your question without delving into
the specifics of your situation, yes.
Everyone in your life will eventually leave.
They come & go because that is the transient
nature of life and the Universe.

Appreciate those whom are in your life,
but always understand nothing ever
lasts. Be free enough to allow love &
connection in & just as free to its
passing nature.

Bornonthecusp · #10 20-11-2017, 07:25 PM

I really like Liberated's post and whole heartedly agree, people do come and go. It has been a big lesson for me to learn to accept that people leave and that's ok. However, just as much as people leave, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're gone forever. The past few months so many people have returned to my life, so I believe it works both ways. Like Liberated said, appreciating the time you have with someone is important. I suppose it's about being present really...