Vast Disconnect

[twinkle77]

Originally Posted by ShiningStar

That's exactly how I feel. The grieving is gone, thank goodness, but he's always there in the back of my mind. He may not be the first thing I think about when I wake up, but give it time, it eventually comes as maybe the
3rd or 4th thing that comes to mind. I also assume some day it won't be there any longer. Part of my fear is if I let go he will go completely from my mind, thus no interest in him if he comes back.....dunno if that is fear ego or not. Maybe I haven't surrendered enough to it.

I too am scared to see him only because I know how he is, in that he has no idea how to explain to me what he's been going through. I am told he misses me but can't bring himself to make contact and explain. He has lots of fear he needs to work on. I think my fear of talking to him is just his reflection of his fear bouncing back and forth. I am ready to talk to him, even as just a friend, and I have opened the door for him to do make the effort, but he won't walk through it.

Same with me at this point in time. He is still there but not 'obsessively' as some would say. Just like u say, maybe a few times a day he would pop into my head lol. I prefer it this way, it is less draining/consuming.

I still feel like i am going through an internal grieving process without realising it. I am still getting that sensation/feeling where it seems like i have been crying, u know when u sigh or yawn after a big cry and it gets kinds broken down into small breaths? EXCEPT i haven't been crying or sad at all. I have had this for the past few weeks now. I wonder if anyone else here has had this happen to them at some point? Would be very interesting to know.

Serpent Queen, let's start a girl-band :)

I learn something from each and every one of your posts - thank you.

[Usako]

Originally Posted by twinkle77

Same with me at this point in time. He is still there but not 'obsessively' as some would say. Just like u say, maybe a few times a day he would pop into my head lol. I prefer it this way, it is less draining/consuming.

I still feel like i am going through an internal grieving process without realising it. I am still getting that sensation/feeling where it seems like i have been crying, u know when u sigh or yawn after a big cry and it gets kinds broken down into small breaths? EXCEPT i haven't been crying or sad at all. I have had this for the past few weeks now. I wonder if anyone else here has had this happen to them at some point? Would be very interesting to know.

Same here! The anguish and pain are gone...

[Quest]

Originally Posted by Enigmatic

Serpent Queen, let's start a girl-band :)

I learn something from each and every one of your posts - thank you.

Me too! I'm in awe at the amount of wisdom on this board and it's wonderful to be part of such a supportive community. When I have low moments of feeling weak and alone, I think of you guys and what you have each gone through and how you persevered. It gives me huge strength! Thank you to each and every one of you!

Originally Posted by twinkle77

Same with me at this point in time. He is still there but not 'obsessively' as some would say. Just like u say, maybe a few times a day he would pop into my head lol. I prefer it this way, it is less draining/consuming.

I still feel like i am going through an internal grieving process without realising it. I am still getting that sensation/feeling where it seems like i have been crying, u know when u sigh or yawn after a big cry and it gets kinds broken down into small breaths? EXCEPT i haven't been crying or sad at all. I have had this for the past few weeks now. I wonder if anyone else here has had this happen to them at some point? Would be very interesting to know.

Same for me. He is still there, but not in the old obsessive all consuming way. I have had no contact for over ten months. I found March a very challenging month. I actually felt very sad, and emotional at some points but for no particularly reason and my dreams have been all about the past. I felt as if old stuff was getting cleared. I felt lighter yesterday and relieved that it was April and a new month