Is it ever easy to watch your ex move on?

[Goddessa]

Originally Posted by A human Being

I think what's making it so hard is that it ended with so much ill-feeling between us, and an apparent refusal to remember anything positive about the relationship, or any love that we might feel for one another. I just seem to mean absolutely nothing to her now, after all the amazing love we shared, and it does hurt like hell, there's just no denying it I know that might sound like I'm clinging onto the past, but the denial of that love just feels like too much to bear - I understand her behaving as she has done and is doing towards me, I understand that I behaved in ways that caused a lot of pain for her, but it still hurts more than I can say, I have never felt so utterly alone

You know, it sounds like you ended the relationship without really considering all the consequences. I'm not sure what you expected her to do or think if you also had another relationship after you broke up with her either. Its very hurtful.

I'm a strong believer in love overcoming all obstacles and if you do want her back, which I suspect might be the case, I recommend communication. Talk to her. Its a start.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Goddessa

You know, it sounds like you ended the relationship without really considering all the consequences. I'm not sure what you expected her to do or think if you also had another relationship after you broke up with her either. Its very hurtful.

I'm a strong believer in love overcoming all obstacles and if you do want her back, which I suspect might be the case, I recommend communication. Talk to her. Its a start.

There's definitely truth in what you're saying, I feel. I'm trying to communicate with her and tell her how I feel, but I don't know if she'll hear me... all I can do is speak from the heart, I suppose.

[PlatitudePluto]

I went for years without knowing what exactly my ex was up to, but yes when I suddenly found him on Facebook last year, not only had he moved on, but he'd moved on several times over apparently according to his kids. It was a pretty big slap in the face given all the notes he wrote to me about how "I am the one" and reciting cheesy song lyrics about how "this is love" and other [edited/staff]

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by PlatitudePluto

I went for years without knowing what exactly my ex was up to, but yes when I suddenly found him on Facebook last year, not only had he moved on, but he'd moved on several times over apparently according to his kids. It was a pretty big slap in the face given all the notes he wrote to me about how "I am the one" and reciting cheesy song lyrics about how "this is love" and other bull.

I can imagine how hurtful that must've been. Did you ever have a sense of him being the one that got away? I only ask because I'm having that thought run through my head atm and it's too much to bear to think that she might be, I don't know how I'd ever get over it...

[jimrich]

Originally Posted by A human Being

It seems daft, because I was the one who ended it, but it really is a kick to the crotch seeing her in a relationship and moving on. I wish I could be happy for her but I can't, I feel bereft Sigh, not much use in dwelling on it... guess I've just got to let the sadness arise as it will.

Self esteem and self acceptance work can help you stop comparing your self to others and feeling less-than or hurt when they "move on" and you don't.

I think I need to look in the right places, tbh, find spiritual people who aren't so materialistic.

I'd google: self worth or self esteem and get to work fixing yours, ASAP.

sigh, but again that's all me, and it speaks to my lack of self-worth,

OK, there it is! Now the nest step is to FIX it anyway you can. Once you honestly FEEL OK, life will become smooth sailing for you (and others). but it still

hurts more than I can say, I have never felt so utterly alone

Low/bad self esteem makes us vulnerable to such pain and loneliness due to very low, unloving energy and feelings.

all I can do is speak from the heart, I suppose.

.... and it helps to have high, healthy self respect and worth when speaking from the heart.

I don't know how I'd ever get over it...

Working at boosting your self worth and self respect can get you over it!

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by jimrich

Self esteem and self acceptance work can help you stop comparing your self to others and feeling less-than or hurt when they "move on" and you don't.


I'd google: self worth or self esteem and get to work fixing yours, ASAP.


OK, there it is! Now the nest step is to FIX it anyway you can. Once you honestly FEEL OK, life will become smooth sailing for you (and others). but it still
Low/bad self esteem makes us vulnerable to such pain and loneliness due to very low, unloving energy and feelings.


.... and it helps to have high, healthy self respect and worth when speaking from the heart.

Working at boosting your self worth and self respect can get you over it!

Good advice, Jim! Though quite frankly, right now I feel like I just need to get laid

[Claireanneh]

I had an experience of the ex who wanted to stay friends, and who have talked to me abut his new crushes and girlfriends. It was hard, and after some time I just stop communicating with him, because it seemed unhealthy to act like I do not care. So, I think that it is perfectly natural to feel bad, or jealous.

[ocean breeze]

When someone lashes out, threatens. Then says they will be watching you. All i can do is pray that they move on. lol

[Holly]

Originally Posted by A human Being

It seems daft, because I was the one who ended it, but it really is a kick to the crotch seeing her in a relationship and moving on. I wish I could be happy for her but I can't, I feel bereft Sigh, not much use in dwelling on it... guess I've just got to let the sadness arise as it will.

I dunno, I do OK with mine. I left my partner because I fell in love with someone else (my guide, long story!!) which he knows...he's moving on, dating, getting his life in order. We're still friends. We meet up and watch Harry Potter ;) I don't find it difficult to watch him move on. I mean, it sometimes makes me a little bit sad, it didn't work out, but I want him to be happy far more than I want to be happy myself.

I must be an oddball. I think most people would find it hard but for some reason, I just dont. I'm just happy he's happy.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by Holly

I dunno, I do OK with mine. I left my partner because I fell in love with someone else (my guide, long story!!) which he knows...he's moving on, dating, getting his life in order. We're still friends. We meet up and watch Harry Potter ;) I don't find it difficult to watch him move on. I mean, it sometimes makes me a little bit sad, it didn't work out, but I want him to be happy far more than I want to be happy myself.

I must be an oddball. I think most people would find it hard but for some reason, I just dont. I'm just happy he's happy.

Well, I'd say it's a darned sight easier to watch them move on if you're in a new relationship yourself, tbh

Good for you though, and I don't think you're an oddball for being happy that he's happy - quite the opposite, I think that's very mature :) I feel like I'm slowly getting to that place myself, it's no longer completely driving me up the wall (I think it was sexual possessiveness as much as anything, but that issue seems to be gradually resolving itself) and I feel much more at peace about the whole situation. Maybe it just needed time :)