Is 'falling in love' harmful for spirituality?

[Conscious Coincidences]

Originally Posted by hellabomer

We should love everyone equally but if we have a life partner, aren't we separating that person from the rest in a special way? Isn't it against the core teaching of spirituality which asks us to love everyone equally?

Hi Hellabomer,

For me I don't see falling in love as a problem. I think it can become a beautiful part of your spiritual development.
Before I had fallen in love a few times and was taken over by it completely. The last time I fell in love however there was already enough awareness in me to fully enjoy it while not being taken over by it. It creates a very interesting way of experiencing this beautiful state in a love relationship.
Don't beat yourself up or reject any feelings of falling in love is this is what is happening to you know- that could only create suppressed feelings. Enjoy it :) and make it a part of your spiritual practice.

[SimplyHindu]

A wise man once told me, "When sensuality comes, spirituality goes."

[Claireanneh]

I believe that by loving one person we open ourselves to love for everyone. Relationships, at least the healthy ones, make us better people, so I think that they are not in contradiction with the spirituality.

[jimrich]

Originally Posted by hellabomer

Is 'falling in love' harmful for spirituality? We should love everyone equally but if we have a life partner, aren't we separating that person from the rest in a special way? Isn't it against the core teaching of spirituality which asks us to love everyone equally?

I'd start by clearly defining each and every word in your question/statement. For example, what is you understanding of: falling in love, love, spirituality, equality, life partner, special way, core teaching and any other item in there?
IMO, spirituality does not teach me to love everyone "equally" but to love everyone as we love our self and putting Divinity first. My (late) life partner was special to me and I loved her in a very different way (not equally) than I loved her sisters and children or others and I love her family very differently than the Postman, etc. So, even the word "love" has a lot of different meanings and applications for me. I think "Spirituality" wants us to "love" or accept everyone the best way that we can and the Divine above all. I honestly do not see a conflict between loving persons or things vs. spirituality or loving the Supreme. IMO, love is love.

But isn't it distracting to love someone anyway? It can lead us to not dedicate all our time in spirituality, and keep our thoughts engaged in the object of our affection.

I don't see any need to dedicate ALL of my time in "spirituality" and ignore everything else UNLESS I want to go to a retreat or off to a cave somewhere. IMO, one can fall in love and still be dedicated to "spirituality".

But if you are loving your partner, it will end up causing you to get attached to the worldly pleasures. How can you still move ahead and maintain detachment?

LOL, I don't see "detachment" as particularly "spiritual". I see it as hiding from life.

Loving the source is our foremost goal. But the moment you 'fall in love' with a human, you get consumed by their thoughts, and you end up getting attached to them.

That is only true when you are very weak, needy and neurotic.

Ultimately, it steers you away from the spiritual path and hence God ends up being second. So, isn't it profitable to renounce all earthly relationships?

It's profitable to stay with what makes you happy, be it god, pleasures or whatever.

You seem to believe that you cannot be on a spiritual path and also be in a loving relationship and all I can say is that I see no conflict there but, to each his own. Many "spiritual" folks have been married and had kids and many were hermits so, take your pick.
Just my 2 cents.

[Holly]

Originally Posted by hellabomer

We should love everyone equally but if we have a life partner, aren't we separating that person from the rest in a special way? Isn't it against the core teaching of spirituality which asks us to love everyone equally?

I'm not sure it's the same type of love. Love for ALL is more a heart-centred love (as opposed to one that originates in the mind) that comes from your inner divinity. That's not necessarily romantic. Love for a romantic partner is different. That comes with hormones and a special desire to be close physically which is supposed to result in a joint "merging" with God together.

I think spirituality as a "teaching" is and should be a malleable concept. It needn't be rigid and where it is, that needs changing.

I feel love for the ALL but it isn't romantic. It's more automatic love. I feel romantic love for my partner, who's in "spirit." That's a very special sort of love that's allowed me to delve into my spirituality in a unqiue, beautiful way. Without it I wouldn't be half the person I am today.

I suppose I wouldn't mind loving everyone as intensely and romantically as I love him...but I wouldn't want to do away with romance. It teaches me too much and frankly feels too wonderful.