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Originally Posted by Blue Tiger
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, 7Luminaries :)
My humble example of what I have been told was a soul contract between my mother and myself is hardly the stuff of Hitler or any other heinous figures in history.
It is a simple acceptance that the coldness and aloofness of our relationship is precisely why I am who I am today... and I am who I was always intended to be. There is no need for you or anyone else to accept that we agreed for things to be that way. None at all.
Oh, and you might notice that I do not denigrate your opinion by calling it rubbish or saying that it smells. Your opinion is simply your opinion. Who am I to judge?
Live long and prosper, 7L.
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BlueTiger, no offense was intended to you or anyone personally...nor was I directing my response to your or anyone's personal situation.
This thread was about suicide terrorists, and so my examples of those perpetrating genocide or terror were directly in line with that.
Regarding our personal situations, and the abuse and cruelty we may have experienced at the hands of our parents or others...this is what remains true of each of us. This is what is universal...
Regardless of who we are, and regardless of any agreements we may have made beforehand to cross one another's paths or be in one another's lives...
We are all sentient, we are all self-aware, and we all have free will. No matter what else, we are all responsible for the choices we take throughout our lives. For our intentions, thoughts, words, and deeds.
In your case, your mother was and still is responsible for all she has ever done and all she ever will do. You are not. You are only responsible for all you have ever done and will ever do. At every moment, she had an infinity of choices, as she still does now. And as do you. As do each of us, even it the infinity of choices simply means all the possible choices between A and B, rather than between A and Z.
Whilst children, we are still constrained, of course. As each of us comes into adulthood, it is revealed to us more fully that we are responsible for everything we intend, think, do, and say.
Does that mean that we cannot learn as children very deep and poignant spiritual truths from the abuse and cruelty we suffer? No of course not...for we certainly can learn deep truths from any situation, whether loving or brutal.
Does it mean that there was a binding spiritual contract (the equivalent of a spiritual contract in blood, a spiritual gun to the head, or some other sort of spiritual coercion or eye-for-an-eye type of situation) that forced your mum or my folks or whomever to abuse us or to treat us cruelly? Of course not. Everyone makes their choices in each moment, and then in the next moment, and the next.
But IMO it is self-evident in the entirety of our existence that since we have free will, there are no spiritually binding contracts for infliction of abuse or cruelty to punish or school you. That is simply humankind's inhumanity to one another...and clearly this happens all the time.
Rather, as I understand it, there are only agreements to incarnate together and/or to cross paths, for opportunities to exchange lovingkindness and to support one another.
Back to those who have been abused or mistreated...it is not on us to excuse or condone the behaviour, nor to rationalise it as karma or some other contractual, obligatory, or tit-for-tat suffering we must endure.
What is upon us is the following...
To name the behaviour as misaligned (with Spirit), to call it out as unacceptable, and to to draw healthy emotional and spiritual boundaries for ourselves.
To accept that these things happened, to honour our pain and our grief, and to nurture ourselves and our healing by surrounding ourselves with those who love us authentically (seek our highest good).
Next, to continue to walk our own path toward Spirit and right-aligned with Spirit, and thus with self and others as well. This means primarily making authentic love central to our way of being and to all our relationships...with self, others, nature, and existence at large. Importantly, releasing anger toward oneself and forgiving oneself for enduring the abuse or cruelty is often a very necessary part of this phase of the journey.
And last...if you hadn't already got here in earlier phases...to forgive the abuser and let go your pain and anger toward them from deep within your heart. If you have done this and you're strong enough, you can then even reach out personally (only if you feel emotionally and physically safe in doing so), and begin to heal your relationship on the ground.
If you are not yet at this last step, then all in good time...it may take years of releasing pain and forgiving the abuser. I would say, be sure to be loving and accepting of yourself whilst you revisit the steps on honouring your pain, your anger, and your grief...and on nurturing and forgiving the self. But forgiveness is ultimately something you do first and foremost for yourself and for your own healing and growth...as well as for the healing and growth of the abuser. So I would always recommend forgiving as soon as you are sincerely able...and even beyond that engaging directly (if it is safe and you are able) for a fuller reconciliation, if possible...this allows for a much deeper and mutual level of healing and transformation.
But regardless...don't ever let the other hold you back from moving forward on your own path, because the moment you forgive sincerely within your heart...the repercussions are vast, they are good, and they are eternal
Peace & blessings
7L
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