Is it our karma to take on someone else's karma?

[Lucky]

For instance, if family members have made poor choices their whole lives and we pick up the pieces for them time and time again, can that be considered as our karma, life lesson, or simply just enabling them? Will these people ever face what they have done if someone is always there to save them and clean up after their mess?

I am not the enabler here, but I'm involved through marriage. I'm having a really hard time with this.

[iamthat]

We have no control over the choices other people make. We do have control over how we respond to the choices of other people.

So maybe we do clean up after their mess, but deep down we know that they will probably end up in another mess. Trying to save them seems futile.

Perhaps it is a case of learning to set boundaries as to what we will and will not do. We decide that we will help up to a certain point. Beyond that point they are on their own. Otherwise they will just repeat the same pattern.

But it is difficult if it is the family of your marriage partner. Your partner may feel obliged to keep cleaning up the mess, and you naturally want to support your partner. Perhaps decide with your partner where you set your limits.

It sounds like this situation has lessons for everyone involved.

Good luck.

[Blue Tiger]

If someone you know continually gets themselves into bad situations, stop saving them. You cannot clear someone else's karma. If the situation involves their karmic debt, they will never be free of it if you or anyone else keeps interfering with them working their way through the situation.

It's hard to watch someone go through tough times. I've been there, I've done it countless times. And each time they don't "get it" until I've made it clear I'm not going to clean up their mess ever again.

You need to accept them the way they are, accept the karma (if there is any) as theirs, and let them be adults.

[Lucky]

Thanks iamthat, you're absolutely right. I know I can't control other people so ultimately it does come down to the boundaries I set. While I am very compassionate about other people's circumstances and what made them who they are, trying so hard not to be judgemental...I have recently discovered my life lesson here is to put myself first before I can take care of others and to stop being a doormat. Ultimately it will not be my choice what boundaries my husband decides to put in place with them, but it is my choice if I decide to stay and co-sign their **. You're also right about this situation involving a lesson for everyone involved...haha..leave it to me to break cycles! I have done a lot of work on myself and spent years soul searching, though I'm not claiming to be perfect, I just wish others would do the same. Something tells me I am my husband's saving grace, in fact he told me, but far be it from me to break up a family and be the one to blame in the end. Only time will tell I guess, but my patience is wearing thin.

Thanks Blue Tiger, agreed. I can accept them and appreciate the upbringing and circumstances they've faced made them who they are today, and I'm truly sad for them that they never knew any other way, but I do believe we all have the option to turn it around and better ourselves. Unfortunately they chose not to, even when given many chances by my husband (and I) they still chose to lie, cheat and steal, cut corners and tell half truths. It disgusts me. And it's sad that parents would do this to their own child. It's a miracle my husband was able to rise above this upbringing and be the good man he is today, but he refuses to let them suffer because now they are too old to work. Ugh.

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by Lucky

For instance, if family members have made poor choices their whole lives and we pick up the pieces for them time and time again, can that be considered as our karma, life lesson, or simply just enabling them? Will these people ever face what they have done if someone is always there to save them and clean up after their mess?

I am not the enabler here, but I'm involved through marriage. I'm having a really hard time with this.

Your thoughts generate thought-forms. Those thought-forms remain attached to your soul until they're neutralized by your subsequent thoughts. Those thought-forms create in kind situations in your life. That's your karma. It can last over several lives, and it is yours and only yours.

So, karmically facts don't matter, on thoughts, and for each one only their own thoughts.

When somebody makes poor choices and you pick up the pieces, your thoughts about the situation create your karma, and their thoughts about the situation create their karma. If helping them makes you angry, your good deed won't help you karmically, and you'll accumulate bad karma, that'll bring in your life more situations like that, people angry with you.

Originally Posted by Lucky

For instance, if family members have made poor choices their whole lives and we pick up the pieces for them time and time again, can that be considered as our karma, life lesson, or simply just enabling them? Will these people ever face what they have done if someone is always there to save them and clean up after their mess?

I am not the enabler here, but I'm involved through marriage. I'm having a really hard time with this.

When it comes down to it, this 'version' of karma is nothing more than reward and punishment mentality. Are you afraid that you're guilty by association and therefore liable for punishment?

In the original Sanskrit, karma meant 'action', nothing more. Since then it has been given numerous meanings.

Life's Purpose is a very different beast to karma and agreements are made before incarnation by all that are 'involved', and contrary to popular belief we are not here for on;y our won reasons, often we are here for others. If your relative has made some 'bad' choices, what's happening because of them? If your partner had made a poor choice and you Loved them anyway, what Spirituality is to be gained by that?

[Lucky]

Inavalan, thank you for reminding me of how our thoughts create our reality. You brought up very good points. I have given similar advice to others about thoughts creating our own reality, I know it's true, and yet when it comes to taking my own advice I fail to see beyond the story my own ego has created (Smacking my forehead). It's funny because this IS in fact a familiar lesson presenting itself in my life once again just with different characters and circumstances. First major lesson was an ex boyfriend who lied, cheated and stole from me and was very manipulative. In my current situation, it's my husband's parents who lie, take our money and are manipulative.

Greenslade, thank you for clarifying the meaning of karma. I do not feel a sense of guilt by association, but I do feel that victim mentality creeping up and I'm aware of it. You asked what is happening as a result of the poor choices my relatives made, and the answer is firstly they are not my relatives they are my husband's, and second, absolutely nothing. They haven't faced repercussions severe enough to make them change their ways, so in my opinion I am watching my husband enable them as they continue to make these poor choices.

It's interesting what you said how karma is a very different beast than our life purpose, which I understand each has its own meaning, yet they are somehow intertwined, no?

Also, I'd be interested to hear more on your views that we are often not here for our own reasons but for others...if you'd like to elaborate I'd appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Lucky

Greenslade, thank you for clarifying the meaning of karma. I do not feel a sense of guilt by association, but I do feel that victim mentality creeping up and I'm aware of it. You asked what is happening as a result of the poor choices my relatives made, and the answer is firstly they are not my relatives they are my husband's, and second, absolutely nothing. They haven't faced repercussions severe enough to make them change their ways, so in my opinion I am watching my husband enable them as they continue to make these poor choices.

It's interesting what you said how karma is a very different beast than our life purpose, which I understand each has its own meaning, yet they are somehow intertwined, no?

Also, I'd be interested to hear more on your views that we are often not here for our own reasons but for others...if you'd like to elaborate I'd appreciate it.

You're very welcome Lucky, I'm happy to help.


I sensed a little guilt by association in the post but if you're not feeling it that's good, because sometimes it's plain human nature. There are certain things that the mention of karma ( as in positive/negative) brings up, guilt being one of them and victim mentality the other. Nobody's actions affect you directly, other than your own so all you have to worry about is how you respond.


You used the words 'repercussions' and 'poor choices' so you're still in that kind of mentality, and that's where the common definition of 'karma' comes from, the 'bad karma' being the repercussions of misdeeds. While most would be focussed on what they might see as karma they're missing something. I'm going to assume you're not happy with your husband's inolvement but there's no word of a divorce. What I meant by what was happening as a result was that through it all you''re still with your husband for whatever reason so that brings realisations in itself. There's also your husband's participation and what's going on there too 'behind the scenes'. I'm not going to pry but I'd suggest it's worth a think about because that's where a very different Spirituality emerges.


Karma (action) and Life's Purpose are intertwined, yes. Simply, prior to you reincarnating you discussed your Life's Purpose with those that are 'involved' - so for instance your family and your husband would have been a part of that agreement. As would you and his family for his agreements. You get the idea. So for instance.... You made the agreement with your husband to explore Unconditional Love, but to do that the Love has to be explored in the context of conditions. If you and your husband Love each other through the tough times then it's Unconditional, yes? You explore the Love, he provides the conditions and you have your experiences. The karma is how those experiences play out in the context of what his family is involved with. Life's Purpose is the 'what' while karma is the 'how', if you like. So the 'what' is Unconditional Love - you Love your hubby even though he's doing something silly - and the 'how' is whatever his family are doing.


This is where us not being here just for our own reasons comes in. I don't know what the agreements between you actually are but for illustration, you wanted to explore Unconditional Love and your husband agreed to be be the 'bad guy' so you could Love him anyway. Perhaps your husband needed to feel Love even when he was being the 'bad guy' and you agreed to Love him anyway, but you get the idea. He's there for you and you're there for him, to facilitate each other's experiences so you can both grow.



Have you often wondered how Souls could agree to a Life of being wheelchair bound - or worse? Carers can't experience being carers unless they have someone to care for, healers can't be healers if there is nobody to heal. Sometimes it's really that simple, but when you come from that perspective something very different opens up in front of you. Perhaps seeing your husband's situation from that perspective might bring you a realisation or two.

[Dargor]

There is no such thing as karma. Just as the quote in my signature points out, people don't get what they deserve but they simply get what they get. If some parents make poor life choices then they should never had children to begin with because naturally there will be concequences for their kids that have nothing to do with karma.

[God-Like]

Originally Posted by Lucky

For instance, if family members have made poor choices their whole lives and we pick up the pieces for them time and time again, can that be considered as our karma, life lesson, or simply just enabling them? Will these people ever face what they have done if someone is always there to save them and clean up after their mess?

I am not the enabler here, but I'm involved through marriage. I'm having a really hard time with this.

Hi :)

We are drawn to experience certain conditions prior to incarnation which encompasses many aspects including d.n.a, and our environment.

Such elements / ingredients that allow oneself to facilitate our own requirements in order to explore and diversify within experience and to resolve certain issues that for some can reflect a karmic energy .

Many believe that even countries have residue energies that reflect a collective of expressions. Some might believe that even certain organisations hold certain energies that will at some point need to be transmuted and transformed. Notre dame’s fire of late as an example of purifying certain energies so to speak .

So anything that needs to be resolved, transformed or transmuted can resonate with the energy of karma ..

An interesting healing practice experienced at a recent retreat was the native american Indian shaman ceremony where one’s ancestral roots that were causing blocks for use of a better word were pulled through the soles of one’s feet and then severed.

One can speak of karma or use some other word but if there is something passed down the ancestral line that is effecting you in anyway then you are to a certain extent carrying other’s energy .

This is also why purifying and healing oneself on all levels is a necessity at some point whether it’s reached in this lifetime or the next .

It’s no coincidence that certain ceremonies and practices like yoga and certain meditations do help one to eventually purify and awaken to certain self aspects that need to be transmuted .

Wise peeps say that loving self is the most beneficial ‘thing’ that one can do for the collective and this is in part illustrating how transmuting self effects others to certain degrees so it’s not too difficult to stretch to an understanding of how other people and ‘things’ can effect you on a karmic level .

Of course there perhaps may be a 100 different ways to define what karma is but if we throw away the word itself and just focus on energy and how it can effect peeps then you are already half way there lol .



x daz x