I don't understand what is happening to me and I need your advice

[Mayaa777]

First of all, I apologize if this topic is in the wrong place.

Way back ago I started to think about a person(a public person) without any reason. It was just a glimpse of somewhat like a vision of me talking to that person. For no obvious reason. I wasn’t a fan of that person or something like that. And it became more and more intense. A picture of me talking to that person would appear from time to time in my head. I was ignoring it. It lasted for like a month. Then that person died. And it was a life changing point for me. Ever since that happened I feel a presence of that person. And it feels like I’ve lost someone very close to me.

I’ve never met that person and I am perfectly aware that this is not normal and that I shouldn’t feel like this. But it is something stronger than me. I have this strange feeling of missing that person, wich is insaine, because I don’t know why is that happening. That feelings are stronger on some specific dates, wich I later found out, were some meaningful dates in that persons life. I don’t know much about that person, everything I learned is pretty much after that persons death, after these things started to affect me, so I was curious.

Some days it’s perfectly fine, I feel great. But on some other days, all of the sudden I start to feel sad, or happy or calm. Even loved. And sometimes I feel pressure in my chest. But more than everything, I am missing that person. Like it was someone close to me. And that person was no one important to me until that last month prior to that persons death, when these strange things started to happen.

Something like this already happened to me once before. I was dreaming of a person(also a public figure, but that person was once known for maybe one role in one show wich was long ago). I wasn’t watching that show any time recently then, so it wasn’t because of that. In my dream I saw that person and that person tried to tell me something, but I either didn’t understand or couldn’t remember in the morning what was it. And that morning I read that that person has died. But that was all. This now is something different, it takes too long, and I don’t know why is this happening, nor how to deal with it. I tried to ignore it, but it doesn’t work. I tried reading about it and helping myself understand and process it somehow, but I obviously can’t do it. It’s been almost a year.
I also have these strange dreams in wich I feel something evil looking at me, but then I realise that theres someone else standing next to me to make sure nothing happens. I don't see faces, just shaddows.
I had dreams like these before but I always explained it with sleep paralysis disorder bacause I am always half awake when it's happening. Usually I can't move, but not latelly.
And there is a lot more things I could say, but this post is already too long.

My whole life I feel somewhat different. When I was a child I used to talk to Jesus a lot. And everything I asked he would grant me. Not in a material way, of course. As I grew up I identified that person as my guardian angel. And I still have a strong feeling of his presence, even thou I am not as religious and concentrated as I used to be. I see a lot of number 7, and it is always in lines(77, 777, 7777, even 7777777). And that is something thats been going on for years. Some days I can't even turn around without seeing that numbers, usually on car licence plates, phone numbers, bills....) One woman told me those were angel numbers, but no one could really explain to me what is this thing I am feeling.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Mayaa777

I’ve never met that person and I am perfectly aware that this is not normal and that I shouldn’t feel like this.

Mayaa, I would say the first thing to know is this: it's not about "normal" or "shouldnt". Normal and shouldn't make it seem as if you need to be different, or do something different, or think differently. But if that's where you are at right now, then the healthy thing is to acknowledge and accept it, without concern or self-judgment.

Of course we don't want things in our life that we instinctively feel are wrong or unhealthy for us. But sometimes, like you said, it's out of our control. In situations like that, we have to learn to love the situation, as it is, regardless. Relax into the chaos and confusion, just let things be, without getting too high or low. And it's in that place of non-judgment and quiet acceptance that we can then begin to take the steps to change things.

I have many things I could write and suggest regarding what's going on with you, and it seems very karmic IMO. But I would first suggest you need to get clear on what your #1 concern and question is. Reading your post, I couldn't tell. You brought in so many elements that I wasn't clear on what exactly you really want to explore here. The clearer and more specific you can get, the easier it is to address.

[_dagmar_]

Originally Posted by Mayaa777

First of all, I apologize if this topic is in the wrong place.

Way back ago I started to think about a person(a public person) without any reason. It was just a glimpse of somewhat like a vision of me talking to that person. For no obvious reason. I wasn’t a fan of that person or something like that. And it became more and more intense. A picture of me talking to that person would appear from time to time in my head. I was ignoring it. It lasted for like a month. Then that person died. And it was a life changing point for me. Ever since that happened I feel a presence of that person. And it feels like I’ve lost someone very close to me.

I’ve never met that person and I am perfectly aware that this is not normal and that I shouldn’t feel like this. But it is something stronger than me. I have this strange feeling of missing that person, wich is insaine, because I don’t know why is that happening. That feelings are stronger on some specific dates, wich I later found out, were some meaningful dates in that persons life. I don’t know much about that person, everything I learned is pretty much after that persons death, after these things started to affect me, so I was curious.

Some days it’s perfectly fine, I feel great. But on some other days, all of the sudden I start to feel sad, or happy or calm. Even loved. And sometimes I feel pressure in my chest. But more than everything, I am missing that person. Like it was someone close to me. And that person was no one important to me until that last month prior to that persons death, when these strange things started to happen.

In time one understands better than others.

Originally Posted by Mayaa777

Something like this already happened to me once before. I was dreaming of a person(also a public figure, but that person was once known for maybe one role in one show wich was long ago). I wasn’t watching that show any time recently then, so it wasn’t because of that. In my dream I saw that person and that person tried to tell me something, but I either didn’t understand or couldn’t remember in the morning what was it. And that morning I read that that person has died. But that was all. This now is something different, it takes too long, and I don’t know why is this happening, nor how to deal with it. I tried to ignore it, but it doesn’t work. I tried reading about it and helping myself understand and process it somehow, but I obviously can’t do it. It’s been almost a year.
I also have these strange dreams in wich I feel something evil looking at me, but then I realise that theres someone else standing next to me to make sure nothing happens. I don't see faces, just shaddows.
I had dreams like these before but I always explained it with sleep paralysis disorder bacause I am always half awake when it's happening. Usually I can't move, but not latelly.
And there is a lot more things I could say, but this post is already too long.

More is expected according this line of events if emotion is unchanged.

Originally Posted by Mayaa777

My whole life I feel somewhat different. When I was a child I used to talk to Jesus a lot. And everything I asked he would grant me. Not in a material way, of course. As I grew up I identified that person as my guardian angel. And I still have a strong feeling of his presence, even thou I am not as religious and concentrated as I used to be. I see a lot of number 7, and it is always in lines(77, 777, 7777, even 7777777). And that is something thats been going on for years. Some days I can't even turn around without seeing that numbers, usually on car licence plates, phone numbers, bills....) One woman told me those were angel numbers, but no one could really explain to me what is this thing I am feeling.

No all-knowing can think what another all-knowing is thinking if another all-knowing is thinking what the first is not thinking. That is why one can defeat the king of darkness but if one defeats the king of light a new universe is created in which you are God. For most of us defeating god is unrealistic but we can choose by whom we are enslaved.

You are selected by a dark soul because darkness attracts darkness like honey attracts bees.
You are afraid because that is required to weaken you to the point where you can be enslaved.

If you choose darkness the trick is to spawn it onto others without being affected yourself.
This is infinitely more difficult then succumbing to the light.

If you choose light then all you have to do is prey that they will help and they always will as they have no choice than to bring you closer to their master.

You are queried by light or darkness, asked who's slave you wish to be.

[Mayaa777]

Baile, thank you for your reply. This is all pretty new to me. Trough my life I felt different, but this is the first time that something like this has happened to me. This intense, and this long. I feel restless, my heart keeps beating pretty fast and I feel chills on my skin. And I keep thinking but I have no answer to the only thing I want to know, and that is what is happening to me and why. Why do I feel conection to that specific person and why I am mourning that person like it was someone very close to me. I have no reason for that. I feel a presence of that person. Not in a bad way, thou. But I think it's because I can't handle that in a right way is the reason I feel like I do. I don't know how to process it. It' probably because I'm a type of person who needs to understand why is something happening in order to learn how to deal with it. I hope some of this makes sense.
This is not something you can just say to someone during a cup of coffee without people looking at you like you're insaine. I cannot talk to anyone about this, that's why I came here. Hoping to find some answers, because obviously I can't figure it out by myself. Maybe there are people who felt the same.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by _dagmar_

That is why one can defeat the king of darkness but if one defeats the king of light a new universe is created in which you are God.

The solution simple.

Okay, so let's check to see how simple.

Who is this "king" of darkness you are speaking about?
Likewise, who is this king of light?
And why aren't one, the other or both a "queen", or just an "it"?
Why all this polarization, separation, fighting and defeating stuff?
Is the spiritual answer really that patriarchal, war-like and external?
Or is this just your analogy for some inner self-exploration process?

If you're speaking of the gentle, loving, self-exploration inner path, then yes, it is very simple. Work yes, but simple. But if you are speaking of having to first believe in beings -- kings of darkness, etc. -- and then engaging in spiritual war and battling these beings, then not simple at all. Very complicated in fact.

[Mayaa777]

Originally Posted by _dagmar_

In time one understands better than others.

More is expected according this line of events if emotion is unchanged.

No all-knowing can think what another all-knowing is thinking if another all-knowing is thinking what the first is not thinking. That is why one can defeat the king of darkness but if one defeats the king of light a new universe is created in which you are God. For most of us defeating god is unrealistic but we can choose by whom we are enslaved.

I'm not sure I understand.

[_dagmar_]

Originally Posted by Mayaa777

I'm not sure I understand.

You don't ? I upgraded my previous post ( something about bees ).

The law of attraction Mayaa777.

Things of the subtle do not just happen for no reason.

I try again more simple

If you want darkness to go away then avoid darkness in your own thinking.

It's very normal that you are scared the first time such an encounter happens.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Mayaa777

Baile, thank you for your reply.

Originally Posted by Mayaa777

the only thing I want to know, and that is what is happening to me and why. Why do I feel conection to that specific person and why I am mourning that person like it was someone very close to me. I have no reason for that. I feel a presence of that person. Not in a bad way, thou.

There are a few spiritual ideas you can investigate. One belief is that we have soul families. The idea is that at any time, we have soul family members who are here on earth at the same time we are here. And we have soul family members who are in spirit, watching over and even contacting us. And it could be this person you speak of, is and was a close soul family member whom you had a strong psychic and karmic connection with, even though you never physically met them.

People use different names for these things, so it's helpful to stay open to exploring all possible explanations and interpretations. For example, soul mate and true flame for soul family members here in the physical. And angels, higher self, and "hearing God speak" with regards to soul family members in the spirit plane.

It might be helpful for you to explore esoteric teachings about the eternal soul, karma and reincarnation. All of these can/do play into the events we experience in the physical plane. Karma, and karmic connections with other souls, is a neutral thing, it is not bad. So it's much like the feeling you have for this person. It is something you sense that is going on in your life, but you're unable to explain it. The first step to understanding it, is to not fear it. So you're already there and on your way, that's good.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by _dagmar_

If you want darkness to go away then avoid darkness in your own thinking.

That is excellent self-exploration inner-path advice!

[Lucky]

Maya,
I wish I could give you a straight-forward answer as to what you're experiencing, but I can tell you you are not alone, and you're not strange! Similar things have happened to me, mostly in a dream (which I've come to learn are more like visits rather than dreams). Most of the time it will be people I know that have passed on, friends or family. Other times it's people I don't know directly, more like a friend of a friend or relative of a friend.

For example, in one of these dreams I saw a man very happy who without saying a word somehow telepathically communicated to me his name was Michael. Then an old boss of mine appeared in this dream, really happy to see "Michael". I hadn't worked for this boss in over 20 years, so it was strange I dreamt of her, and had no clue who this Michael was and why I dreamt of them together. Several months later I was chatting with a local psychic/medium/healer and told her of my abilities, and shared this dream with her. Turned out that she is friends with my old boss, and knew exactly who "Michael" was to her...her first true love who had suddenly died before they were to marry. It still mystifies me how and why Michael came into MY dream, but eventually months later I met this woman who was able to share my dream with my old boss, perhaps it brought her comfort.

Anyway, it seems to me we both have mediumship abilities along with precognition or the ability to see future events. I've also had some precognition. The way you feel what these people felt particularly around certain dates of importance in their lives tells me they are communicating with you. As to why, I'm not sure, unless you are somehow connected to these public figures through friends in order to share the messages you're receiving (maybe someone else on here can comment as to why?).

If this is driving you insane, I'd suggest learning more about mediumship. There can be ways to turn this ability on and off, some of these techniques work and some don't . It's worth looking into though to learn more about these abilities. I found a supportive group in my area that meets to discuss these abilities, perhaps you can find similar workshops in your area? I'm no expert in this arena, as I too am just uncovering some of these abilities.