Dont need or want sex

I'm male 43. I've been running after sex all my life. Two years ago it has stopped. My body is still attracted to women, but the fascination is not there anymore.
After 20 years of relationships now I am single, very happy to be so.
Two years without sex, and I feel great.

I see there was a conditioning: I am a man, and to be a man I have to make sex with women.

Now I don't care to be a "man" anynore. I see that I am not a man. That was a conditioning too.

If I think about all that nonsense about male/female issues!

I don't say that I'm finished with sex, the urge is still strong. But I don't give importance to it anymore. Just hormones. My life is so full, without romance and sex. I feel so free.

[psychoslice]

Originally Posted by de.spin

I'm male 43. I've been running after sex all my life. Two years ago it has stopped. My body is still attracted to women, but the fascination is not there anymore.
After 20 years of relationships now I am single, very happy to be so.
Two years without sex, and I feel great.

I see there was a conditioning: I am a man, and to be a man I have to make sex with women.

Now I don't care to be a "man" anynore. I see that I am not a man. That was a conditioning too.

If I think about all that nonsense about male/female issues!

I don't say that I'm finished with sex, the urge is still strong. But I don't give importance to it anymore. Just hormones. My life is so full, without romance and sex. I feel so free.

What a great answer, I feel the same way and I thought that i was all alone.

[Shabda]

i like making love, i dont have sex at all

[SeaZen]

Originally Posted by Bellasong

Damn Widdles55 only once or twice a month ? I'd be so bummed,lol. I think more like 4 or 5 times a week,lol. More even at first usually! But i think 4 to 5 times a week is a healthy amount in a relationship.

I couldn't agree with your more Bellasong! If it feels that pleasurable, why NOT do it often! Heck, its better than watching TV in the evening and much healthier...

[SeaZen]

Originally Posted by de.spin

I'm male 43. I've been running after sex all my life. Two years ago it has stopped. My body is still attracted to women, but the fascination is not there anymore.
After 20 years of relationships now I am single, very happy to be so.
Two years without sex, and I feel great.

I see there was a conditioning: I am a man, and to be a man I have to make sex with women.

Now I don't care to be a "man" anynore. I see that I am not a man. That was a conditioning too.

If I think about all that nonsense about male/female issues!

I don't say that I'm finished with sex, the urge is still strong. But I don't give importance to it anymore. Just hormones. My life is so full, without romance and sex. I feel so free.

Very good, well thought out commentary DE. I however, do not think conditioning has a lot to do with it during the male teen and twenty years. The hormones are just too strong then. Im sure you remember those frequent strong hardons at that time in your youth. It wasn't societal conditioning causing that. Its a shame that advertisers say in order to be a man you must get laid but even in the absence of that negative conditioning, Im sure guys that age would still feel the urgent overpowering physiological drive to get laid often.

Hello Widdles55,
Normally my sex drive is abnormally high. I have been abstinent for four months now, this whole abstinence thing is quite fascinating, it has helped me awaken spiritually and many more good things - that's the only way i can relate unfortunately, but just from my experience of abstinence i can see how good it can feel. I think suppressing it all, can be detrimental (and from experience it is), so the same as you, i have learned to satisfy urges quickly. I feel so amazing compared to having sex overly frequently (but of course i over indulged in my past, probably enough for lifetimes). My abstinence is the only way i can relate, but considering how abnormally high my sex drive naturally is, once over the rough periods of withdrawals, i can see how it can be. I just don't have the desire to anymore, and i am more than fine with it, i feel more happy than i have ever, more satisfied and content with myself than ever before. I feel so free. I would have given anything, to be like you throughout my life, because where I am at now, it feels like my sexuality is "enlightened" in a way. That may sound odd, but it's like i have succeeded in breaking reliance, i can now focus on viewing people and love for what they are, and i feel so uplifted, my kundalini is awakened, and everything.
Of course, I don't plan on being "abstinent" forever, but i certainly do not plan on going back to having sex so often. I will be able to satisfy myself much easier, than having to go for 24 hours, and that is simply amazing. Well I certainly would have loved to be like you, instead of having no control over my natural instincts. I think it's all about finding a balance.
If your balance is that, then i see no problem with it at all.

I would be happy without sex (I do want kids at some point), but I don't need sex for anything other then that. I would rather cuddle.

I too only masturbate 1-3x a month.....as a female, not sure if that is normal. lol

and those 1-3x a month....those are when I am ovulating, at any other time I could care less about a man's penis.

Lucky! Yep. I am trying to abstain from sex and masturbation and it is INCREDIBLY difficult. 3 times a day would be fine for me. LUCKY YOU!

[Lynn]

Hello


Been with the only man I have ever dated or mated ( lol ) 29 year's now. I am so not one for touch of any kind but the deed is done and its all good. Get to it get what is needed and GO AWAY ! No cuddles or anything for me.

I can not even remember the last kiss we had the thought is totally EWWW.

One does not need in the act of any interactions or self actions to feel that feeling as its energy that th body knows well of. What to well ye know think on it and there ye go. DONE .

I have by the way three kids ( lol ) and the bed still moves after 29 year's very well but its not the end all and be all of one's over all role in life. Self respect and embracing that self is more important than running around haveing sex.


Lynn

[Silver]

I have by the way three kids ( lol ) and the bed still moves after 29 year's very well but its not the end all and be all of one's over all role in life. Self respect and embracing that self is more important than running around haveing sex.

How about both (self respect / embracing self)? My my, this thread has been a real eye opener.