getting married

[lunapixie]

Originally Posted by ForgedInFire

I have to ask why you are marrying this person for? What are your real intentions for doing so. Is it to do what you say in the first section of your words i quoted or is it actually to get yourself to believe you have "moved on"?

How can anyone say they are in love with someone but yet have thoughts of another person on their mind? If the situation were turned around would you still marry this man if he had thoughts of another woman like you do of your twin?

You say you feel like you are doing something wrong.. perhaps it is your reasons for getting married in the first place. Maybe it is also that you are not living in truth and authenticity as well.

So what would be your suggestion to her and to all of us? That we turn down anyone else who is willing to love us and to whom we are able to offer live, albeit a different kind of love than TF love? Since we can’t get the twin out of our minds and hearts, since we know that doing so is practically and probably impossible, if we find another soul who is more compatible and more loving towards us, should we not accept them?

For many years I too felt that it was “wrong” to date other men. Every time I would even look at someone else I felt like I was cheating on my twin. Meanwhile, while I was doing this, he left me (ghosted) and married a woman he had been dating while he and I were in a relationship. I knew nothing about her. He then divorced her and came back looking for me without ever telling me about that marriage. He lied and cheated and did all the things which are deal breakers in my rule book. Looking back I now see that while I was here waiting for this “reunion” we hear so much about, while I was unable to live a full life filled with love with another partner, my twin was living his life fully and completely and never giving it a second thought.

You yourself post about the fallacy of waiting. So why should she start thinking so long and hard about any motives she might have for marrying this new man? He clearly loves her or else there would have been no marriage proposal. And she loves him, otherwise she wouldn’t have accepted.

I don’t believe that any of us are lying or cheating or anything like that when we take another lover, husband, etc.. I am, however, a firm believer in telling them the whole truth. And I mean all of it! Telling them about this journey we find ourselves in, the extent of its impact on our daily lives, how we work so hard to let it go but never fully will, etc.. I don’t believe that walking down the isle with someone who has absolutely no idea about this other, secret life we have is advisable.

Always tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. If they love you and you love them, telling the truth will clear a path for an honest relationships and serve to strengthen the bond between the two people.

We are not supposed to place our lives on hold while we attempt to figure out anything. We are meant to figure it out as we go. Our twins are clearly out there right now not putting anything at all on hold to do any kind of deep inner work on themselves.

Some of us may be presented with a suitable soulmate whom fits the needs of our souls and to whom we will be of service as well in the pursuit of spiritual and personal growth. She was presented with such a gift and I don’t believe that just because she hasn’t been able to fully resolve the tf aspect of her life, she should go into hibernation and stop living her life to do so. I have been on the tf journey for over seven years now and not once have I ever felt like I achieved any sense of real understanding about it it about what it’s for. Yes, people come up with their own explanations for it (it’s for soul growth, etc.) but I prefer cold, hard facts that point me in the right direction. And those have never been available so I decided to just LIVE life instead!

DO NOT WAIT FOR YOUR TWIN!

If you’re in love with someone else, love them! Tell them your truth. Marry them even. But whatever you do, do not be swayed by the crazy signs and synchs which will more than likely ensue the minute you decide to continue on with your life.

Onward!