Losing faith in my guides...wondering what to do

[astrologerbrian]

Hi all,

I've been working with spirit guides since 2005 or so. At first called them angels but then after realizing I never actually noticed any particular difference with Archangel Michael or Metatron, etc. and reading about angels (or not) in one of Michael Newton's books I just started calling them spirit guides.

Lately however I've really been struggling with trusting my guides in particular with one issue, though more broadly just in general.

The main sticky issue is whether or not I want to incorporate moderate use of marijuana or alcohol in my life or not. I was at one point just being sober and thought I would eventually just stick to that for my life, assuming that is what my guides would suggest and healthy "spiritual" people do.

However, through a lot of soul searching and personal experiences, thinking about what it means to be human, incorporating the shadow side of me, stuff like that I came time and time again to the idea that some marijuana and alcohol use was right for me and actually just part of who I was.

I would get messages I attributed to guides (because they sounded the same, arrived the same way via thoughts) that it was true to see this as the truth and many times that smoking was true for me at various times (not every time I asked or every day mind you, just certain times).

However, most times I smoke or drink there seems to be unintended/negative consequences, though nothing super horrible.

And now today I'm hearing from what I assume is my guides that it's true to just be sober..though I have asked about that constantly and to once heard that as my truth.

So I'm just questioning everything right now and sick of dealing with this. Tired of consulting my 'guides' for everything and not really getting straight answers half the time.

Seems like it's better to just decide on my own and let the chips fall where they may. Though that makes me really sad as I feel like I can't really count on anything and I have no idea what to really believe in anymore.

Wondering if anyone else has gone through anything else like this?

So sick of disillusionment at this point..