The Fighter Beneath

I work in close quarters with kind of an awkward guy in his early 20's. He was so awkward that he creeped some people out. He was quiet and when he did talk or laugh it was always about the oddest things. I could tell he dealt with a lot of pain underneath his weird veneer.

It's been some time now that we've been working together and I've got to know him a lot better. He's a hard guy to get close to so I feel honored that he's allowed me to do that. He's still a weird guy but so am I. I've gotten to understand him a little more.

He has shared some of the causes for the pain that I saw. His parents were divorced and have both moved on to new, seemingly dysfunctional, relationships. He was sent to live with his grandparents for a period of time. Last year he lost an older brother in an accident. Shortly after, another brother in another accident. He has had to bury two older brothers. He's watched his parents struggle to deal with this in their own lives. I can sense his desperation and intense feelings of loss when he describes staying up nights trying to get EVP's from his brothers. He has received nothing of note. He doesn't wear his pain on his sleeve and he doesn't vocalize it. He's a very unassuming guy and if you passed him on the street, you likely wouldn't even notice him.

Last week he told me that the 10th would be the one year anniversary of his last brother's death and he knew it was going to be a very hard time for his family (who have grown back together despite the divorce). Today was the 10th and I had forgotten that he told me that. We came into work today just like any other day. We worked just like we always do and he never mentioned it. He was quiet but worked hard. Maybe a little harder than he usually does. We ate lunch just like normal.

After lunch we had someone walk into our shop. That doesn't normally happen as we are not a retail outfit and don't serve customers there. The gentleman asked for my co-worker. The visitor was my co-worker's father and he was there to tell him that his mother had been found dead today. There was an eruption of emotion that I had never seen from this guy before, as you would expect. More angry, at the moment, than anything. He quickly left.

This guy has dealt with more pain than most have to deal with in a lifetime. Underneath that unassuming, weak, and somewhat weird persona is a man with the strength of 10. I hope I can be as strong as he is someday. I hope he remembers his strength. I hope I see him again.

[Shrek]

I am sorry to hear that.
Wish and pray for his happiness.

Thank you Shen. Very thoughtful of you