Did I Make A Mistake? He's Hurt Me So Much...

[taurusnsane]

then go away and dont talk to him and dont take him back.

but you need to understand that this is twin connection.

[anonymous111]

Originally Posted by taurusnsane

then go away and dont talk to him and dont take him back.

but you need to understand that this is twin connection.

Didn't you read my post? I told him not to communicate with me which was so hard because I do want to speak to him, but I have to think about my own well being now--he keeps doing the same thing and I don't want to keep crying over this anymore. Gotta live my life.

I do understand that this is a twin connection, hence why I'm not going to take him back until he changes and works on himself.

[SomewhereInTime]

Originally Posted by anonymous111

Few hours ago, TF texted me...

(A Little Backstory--I'll keep it short)

Last Monday night he texted me apologizing for ignoring me, and opened up. Thought something was gonna change, but once again nothing did. I didn't hear from him until today.

Anyways, today he texts asking for me to hang out with him... I asked him what his problem was. He said "What?" as if he had no idea what I was talking about so I just opened the message and left it unanswered. Few minutes later, he texts again-- "Ok sorry"

I just feel like he keeps on hurting me in the same way so I told him I don't know what to say to you don't text me again and good luck with your life (not meaning it in a b*tchy tone, but just kind of like seriously wishing him good luck)

And all he replied was "Oh Sorry again I'll miss talking to you"

That was the end of that. Directly after, I saw a sign that read his old contact name and felt pain in my chest. Then saw on my social media feed of him flirting with this girl. Once again--painful.

Also, same dejavu happening right now. All of this happening as I'm on the way to visit my grandfather in the hospital... Few months back similar situation happened on the way to visiting my brother in the hospital.

I feel as though since he keeps hurting me in the same way constantly, maybe this is for the best. The past month has been so painful... I feel like everytime we've spoken is just me always being upset with him because I do absolutely everything for him and I don't even speak or look at any guys even though we're not technically official... But he just keeps being a complete a-hole to me, acting like he's going to change and then not changing his behaviors, despite the fact that I'm always so kind to him... This sucks.

Despite the fact that this is a TF connection... I definitely think it's time for me to pull back until he can change completely... I wish things didn't turn so sour. I still love him. I'm trying not to cry or weep, I'm probably just going to go to sleep soon. I was slowly coming to terms with all of what was happening until today...

I'm sick of feeling this way and it sucks. He's making me feel like a second choice and doesn't even care that I'm cutting ties now. I truly just feel so upset right now.

I'm probably going to be the odd one out with my comment. Give him the benefit of the doubt. He may be busy or have something going on in his life and he needed some time & space to deal with it. It sounds to me like you both need to sit down and have an open heart to heart talk with each other. There seems to be a lack of communication. Give him a chance, give space if you both need it. But never close the door completely. You can't anyway with this connection. The connection is always there and separation is just an illusion.

[anonymous111]

Originally Posted by SomewhereInTime

I'm probably going to be the odd one out with my comment. Give him the benefit of the doubt. He may be busy or have something going on in his life and he needed some time & space to deal with it. It sounds to me like you both need to sit down and have an open heart to heart talk with each other. There seems to be a lack of communication. Give him a chance, give space if you both need it. But never close the door completely. You can't anyway with this connection. The connection is always there and separation is just an illusion.

He's been with other friends the entire past week. He wasn't busy. I think he just thought that I'm always gonna be a little puppy waiting around for him and he's wrong... You're right though about the lack of communication.

[Sugar-n-Spice]

Originally Posted by anonymous111

He's been with other friends the entire past week. He wasn't busy. I think he just thought that I'm always gonna be a little puppy waiting around for him and he's wrong... You're right though about the lack of communication.

I think you guys may be having a misunderstanding and should meet face to face to iron it out You know your situation better because you are living in it and know the intricacies but he actually sounds a lot like me from what you have described. But i will explain... I am like how he is when I am afraid of something or something is bothering me, so I would genuinely reach to you out as he did and if I was on the receiving end of your reactions, I would not understand that I made you feel like a little puppy waiting around for me, although I would feel that I upset you somehow. And i would apologize too and tell you that i would miss talking to you too in hopes that you would change your mind. Even now reading this I wonder if I have ever made my current SC feel this way. When we were apart my prior SC would get upset often but now that we are around each other he understands that I am afraid whenever I am afraid and he also gets why.

[ForgedInFire]

Sorry to hear of these troubles. But like others i fully agree that there are communication issues that you both need to iron out. From what i get here is that both are not on the same page. To me it looks as though you behave as though you are both exclusive to eachother and on his end he is not. As a result of this and are most likely unaware of it.. that you might be punishing him for this. as seeing you claim to be mostly upset with him all the time.. i have a question you should ask yourself. do you tend to hold onto past issues and take them out on him later? i have some advice for you if you feel this is the case "stop doing that" as they are ego issues. If there is too much "I" instead of we.. "I" am going to cause problems.

I've seen the few things mentioned in your post that does cause concern. If he reaches out and asks to hang out and you reply back with asking what his problem is.. he is NOT going to know what you are talking about.. even if you "think" or "feel" he knows.. he asked you what and you ignore him after that? and instead of explaining anything you then take it from that to dont talk to you anymore and that you feel he is the only one who needs to change completely?!?

Now i should probably say that im a male so this is from a male perspective. you are not official so you really shouldnt be getting mad at him and punishing him just because he isnt doing what you want him to do. At the same time he shouldnt treat you like dirt either but are you feeling that he is for the sole fact of not being exclusive?

im sorry but the problems are not all just on him.. they are on both of you. he is your mirror after all. im going to repost and bold certain parts of your thread so you can see what im seeing here ok?

1. today he texts asking for me to hang out with him... I asked him what his problem was. He said "What?" as if he had no idea what I was talking about so I just opened the message and left it unanswered. Few minutes later, he texts again-- "Ok sorry"

2. I just feel like he keeps on hurting me in the same way so I told him I don't know what to say to you don't text me again and good luck with your life (not meaning it in a b*tchy tone, but just kind of like seriously wishing him good luck)

3. I feel as though since he keeps hurting me in the same way constantly, maybe this is for the best. The past month has been so painful... I feel like everytime we've spoken is just me always being upset with him because I do absolutely everything for him and I don't even speak or look at any guys even though we're not technically official.

"I" am going to cause problems. this is ego trying to take over and be in control. and i know my post may seem harsh but if it does make you mad in any way.. thats your ego acting up. i would like nothing more then to see you be in union with your tf. i also wish that your grandfather is doing ok too.

sit and think about what ive said for a while.. hopefully you can take things with tf from here on and to a better place.

I think you've answered your own question. Did you make a mistake? Reading your story the guy sounds like a wimp, probably insecure because of relationship with mother and suffering a little from (classical) hysteria. We haven't heard his side of the story but assuming you've represented things impartially then....Kick him out.

Refuse to answer any more txts. No social media dialogues. Make him see you or write to you by hand if he's serious. Sounds like he has you on a string at the mo maybe not intentionally but he has a lot of repair work to do on himself.


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[Sugar-n-Spice]

Originally Posted by Sugar-n-Spice

When we were apart my prior SC would get upset often but now that we are around each other he understands that I am afraid whenever I am afraid and he also gets why.

Sorry to correct this way but too late for edit...this should read my current SC throughout.

[anonymous111]

Originally Posted by wraithklewn

Sorry to hear of these troubles. But like others i fully agree that there are communication issues that you both need to iron out. From what i get here is that both are not on the same page. To me it looks as though you behave as though you are both exclusive to eachother and on his end he is not. As a result of this and are most likely unaware of it.. that you might be punishing him for this. as seeing you claim to be mostly upset with him all the time.. i have a question you should ask yourself. do you tend to hold onto past issues and take them out on him later? i have some advice for you if you feel this is the case "stop doing that" as they are ego issues. If there is too much "I" instead of we.. "I" am going to cause problems.

I've seen the few things mentioned in your post that does cause concern. If he reaches out and asks to hang out and you reply back with asking what his problem is.. he is NOT going to know what you are talking about.. even if you "think" or "feel" he knows.. he asked you what and you ignore him after that? and instead of explaining anything you then take it from that to dont talk to you anymore and that you feel he is the only one who needs to change completely?!?

Now i should probably say that im a male so this is from a male perspective. you are not official so you really shouldnt be getting mad at him and punishing him just because he isnt doing what you want him to do. At the same time he shouldnt treat you like dirt either but are you feeling that he is for the sole fact of not being exclusive?

im sorry but the problems are not all just on him.. they are on both of you. he is your mirror after all. im going to repost and bold certain parts of your thread so you can see what im seeing here ok?

1. today he texts asking for me to hang out with him... I asked him what his problem was. He said "What?" as if he had no idea what I was talking about so I just opened the message and left it unanswered. Few minutes later, he texts again-- "Ok sorry"

2. I just feel like he keeps on hurting me in the same way so I told him I don't know what to say to you don't text me again and good luck with your life (not meaning it in a b*tchy tone, but just kind of like seriously wishing him good luck)

3. I feel as though since he keeps hurting me in the same way constantly, maybe this is for the best. The past month has been so painful... I feel like everytime we've spoken is just me always being upset with him because I do absolutely everything for him and I don't even speak or look at any guys even though we're not technically official.

"I" am going to cause problems. this is ego trying to take over and be in control. and i know my post may seem harsh but if it does make you mad in any way.. thats your ego acting up. i would like nothing more then to see you be in union with your tf. i also wish that your grandfather is doing ok too.

sit and think about what ive said for a while.. hopefully you can take things with tf from here on and to a better place.

You're right about lack of communication... However the treating me like dirt part isn't because we're not official--he literally treats me horribly now, and I don't know when this happened because everything used to be so nice. I've already accepted that we're not official, I'm not pursuing a title anymore, so tbe problem isn't that. Also, about the past issues--I don't hold onto past issues, I kept forgiving him very quickly, and even after he felt guilty, or at least said he felt guilty for ignoring me for two months, I forgave him VERY quickly. Basically the instant he began speaking to me. One of the problems now is not me holding onto past issues, but him constantly repeating them...Of course I have stuff to work on myself still, but I've already cleared most of my issues with myself. He still has a lot of work to do, which is why I cut him loose. Also, with the texting thing, he quickly realized that he did the same exact thing we spoke about the last time we talked, which he said he wouldn't do again because I told him how confusing it is. I didn't bother explaining anything this time around because it would be the same conversation we've had countless times before. I just took it as he didn't want to change, so it's time for me to break the cycle.

[anonymous111]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I think you've answered your own question. Did you make a mistake? Reading your story the guy sounds like a wimp, probably insecure because of relationship with mother and suffering a little from (classical) hysteria. We haven't heard his side of the story but assuming you've represented things impartially then....Kick him out.

Refuse to answer any more txts. No social media dialogues. Make him see you or write to you by hand if he's serious. Sounds like he has you on a string at the mo maybe not intentionally but he has a lot of repair work to do on himself.


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You're right. He did have me on a string because I was basically scrambling for any crumb of communication I could get from him, but not anymore. That is why I cut him loose.