problems with this theory

[ForgedInFire]

Oh yes Thats right its that time again.

The tf theory is riddled with problems and flaws. Enough that it seems like a big scam. This post is not my personal feelings on what i believe tf's to be but what i find to be severely wrong with whats being said about them. im not a naysayer.. but some things need to change

I've heard the term being loosely tossed around by girls and thought it was merely just a cutesy pet name for their boyfriends. Strangly enough those few i did see throw this term around were of highschool/college age only and that they were treated badly the whole time and then abandoned. Then they discarded the tf name for what the guy was. hmm. that was the first time i heard that term being used.

Now lets dissect what i find disturbing with this theory.

First of all what is a theory?

the·o·ry
[ˈTHirē]
NOUN
a supposition or a system of ideas intended to explain something, especially one based on general principles independent of the thing to be explained.

So in other words an unproven idea that uses a system to try to explain this phenomena. I dont want to hear any..its all true or that sort of thing. it cannot be repeated at will in a controlled situation with tangible proof resulting in similar outcomes.


1. tf's are split souls that divided at the beginning of time.

Where did this idea come from? It supposes that one has definite proof that souls are like balls of energy that can be cut in half and two separate entities are created by this. I dont believe this to be the case .. i dont feel souls can be split at all and i believe they are streams of consciousness that are an extension of source that express different aspects of itself. Not balls of energy that can be "split"

2. repeat reincarnation to meet time and time again.

ah well.. there has yet to be any real solid proof that a person is reincarnated. There seems to be an "eraser" that makes one forget any supposed past lives upon birth. i personally dont recall any past lives from memory. Nor do i remember sitting at some 'table' in the ethereal making supposed contracts and plans according to the "lesson book" with so called tf before birth either.

3. you are them and they are you.

No. i am not the other person and they are not me. I dont control them with some remote to do my biding as i see fit either. i dont control them to act or behave in any certain ways. they make their own choices as i make my own choices. period.

4. if you make fun of them or ridicule them you are really making fun of yourself.

No. as i said before i am not responsible for their own behavior and if i find it to be disgusting in some way that is not how i feel about myself. was i the one who made the decision to act out those behaviors? No.

5. runners are male.

for starters.. if you sit there and abruptly tell them that you both are the same soul and that they are yours forever and ever.. you better believe some guys are going to run away from that. that sounds psycho..

two. are you forgetting that most males dont reveal their feelings? hmm maybe for this part yes. there are many unaccounted males that do not talk about or admit that they were ran away from. i dislike that many websites always use the term "he" or "him" specifically when talking about runners. it supposes that all women are all more 'intuitive" then males. this is not true.

women are runners too. some of you here are. most may not even admit to being a runner though. some do

6. runners run from you as they cant "handle the connection"

this is a bit subjective and is true for some. some do run in fear while others cant handle themselves very well. but the thing is not ALL of them do for this very specific reason. it is false hope to say this is the only reason as to why they run. it implies that they may return.. which is very unlikely.

7. runners always think of you and love you so much.

false. they do not all do this. they are people with maladaptive coping skills and have what is called 'the switch' where they can at will turn on or off feelings, thoughts and certain behaviors at any time. so with knowing that they can do this.. do you really think they are always thinking of you? or loving you so much? NO this is a false hope claim that irritates me to no end.

8. all tf's love unconditionally

false. no they do not. and anyone who says that if you dont you are not a tf is a bit misguided. this is a lesson that some do need to learn. it is not by fiat that unconditional love comes into existence. some do from the start..some dont. some do and then dont when things go sour. but to say that they all do or your not one is a blanket statement.

9. unconditional love.

doesnt bother me as what its all about.. however what does bother me is that it is also a double edged swords for some to be taken advantage of and put up with repeated disrespectful things. putting up with these things in the guise of 'unconditional love" is not that at all.. it is you being a doormat with no self respect. if one sits there and puts up with this time and time again and says i accept this treatment because i unconditionally love them.. thats really called codependency.

10. tfs are "saving" the world with their "mission".

oh boy.. this is doozie. i find it hard to believe that most twins that have one of them run away are capable of doing such things on this scale. seriously? you two cant even talk or get along.. but thats ok they are going to save the world with the new unconditional love template. im sorry but this one is too much. most tf's are too busy suffering and being separated having one tf with some other person to even go beyond that point to do anything else.

i do have to add that if there are those here that are doing all they can to help towards that kind of goal... yay thank you.

i also have to add that i dont feel that people who claim they are tf's and sell tf readings tf ebooks how to reunite with your tf.. are doing much good here. thats not 'the world" thats just helping tf's.. or more like scamming them in my opinion. some of them if not most of them anyways. its not wise to think they ALL do just for profit and nothing more. some surely do to be helpful.

11. slapping on the "g-d ordained" label to tf's.

and i thought the last one was bad enough but this one.. leads to pure craziness in some people. oh yes ive seen this and some using bible quotes and phrases to make this out to be something more magnified. its "g-d ordained' this is what we have to do its FOR REAL serious. implying a choice is not an option

nothing is more disturbing then seeing quotes like ' what god joined together let no man tear asunder" to be applied to tf's. another is about the "144.000 chosen ones" hmm no where does it say that they are tf's. not one time are tf's mentioned in the bible. and if you really want to go there.. adam and eve were not even created at the same time like tf's supposedly are.

to me its just another distortion of religion being applied to certain peoples beliefs to make them more believable. just another reason for me to be glad ive never followed any religion in my lifetime. its just now abused so badly to force ones belief onto another.

12. the universe is working to get tf's reunited

ugh. oh really? says who? i dont see anything going on that makes me believe this to be the case when there are so many in separation that have MOUNTAINS of hopelessness that stand before them blocking their paths. right some big outter space rocks are aligning into a specific pattern that says this will happen ins a certain way. uh huh. sure. whatever you say there..

can you smell what the rocks are cooking? twinflame tears soup! and most everybody is about sick of eating that 3 times a day everyday for their meals. right?

13. you 'have" to love your tf unconditionally and you can "never" give up on them. even when they are with someone else

nothing like a spiritual leash people make others think they have to wear and create unnecessary burden on them. no you do not have to love them unconditionally if you dont want to. no you dont have to keep up and use energy on then for the rest of your life by never 'giving up' on them. there is such a thing called free will and no one has to do either of these things if they so choose not to. but if you want to then go ahead thats a choice. but no one should be telling another that they "must" like they have no right to do what they feel is best for themselves. i dont know how many times ive hear that said now.. you "cant" give up on them ever! you "must" always send them love. you must do this.. or you cant do that.. what is this and says who?!?

what a bunch of nonsense!! all these ridiculous beliefs i mention need to be abandoned..all they do is create unneeded suffering. things need to change and to be more empowering and not implying helplessness or endless suffering.

so what.. if anything.. bothers you with this theory? amused with this post? find it hilarious? it sucks? let the comments fly!

[Ciona]

I wouldn't worry about the tf label, it's just a label, not a substitute for a soul connection with somebody or replacing the inevitable truth that we all have to walk our own path in life, regardless.

I found your post very amusing. Agree with quite a bit. Some not. Didn't read it all.

I like your idea about coming from Source without being a ball of energy, but a ball can be split by polarization (duality into both male and female), which is something I don't think you included in your analysis.

As far as not mixing tfs up with religion, I think you make some very salient points.

As far as the Bible itself goes, tfs are mentioned in Isaiah 13:5. We mean business. I'm not quoting it word for word because I'm not interested in discussing it, just throwing the verse out there for anyone who wants to look it up if they're interested.

However, having said that, I don't like the word 'twin flame' at all. To me it is just an earthly construct.

I think your post is very awesome in many ways. I like the parts that encourage people to use common sense and be healthy.

Thanks for sharing.

[Crwydryn]

This is also to be considered, what's wrong with this theory. Women love "romance", it is easy to label twinflame. But the majority of these threads here look like unhealthy obsession to me. Yes, there is a lesson, how to love yourself and how to let go. You might end up together later in your life but not because you are twinflames, you both learnt your lessons, and when you meet years later it will feel like a meeting a new person but you already know them so you can skip the small talk.

The below text is from a newsletter I'm getting.
"It's what I call the empathy
trap.

Women have an idea of what a
good relationship is in their
minds. They have a set of rules
of things that they would put
up with and a set of things that
they would never put up with...

But lo and behold, somehow
there are tons and tons of
women who are in relationships
where the guy treats the girl in
a way that the girl would never
put up with normally because...

"Something bad and unfair
happened to him... and that's
why he is the way he is..."

"It's not his fault... he's had a
tough life."

"He's this way because he was
hurt..."

The unspoken message is
always that she believes the
guy needs her and needs her
love to help him heal.

She believes that somehow
down the line, her love with
transform him into the man she
sees he was always meant to
be... and he'll realize that he
can't live without her and
they'll be together forever.

All the meanwhile, the guy just
treats her like ****, again and
again.

She can't kick him to the curb
for acting in a way that she'd
normally never tolerate
because her feminine desire to
nurture this wounded bird back
to health is so strong.

She's invested so much. She feels
so much in the relationship. She
has so much love to give and he
needs it, right?

So she stays and tolerates his
poor treatment of her. After
all, he can't help it, right?

The truth is, guys have a very
good understanding of women
and their overpowering desire
to nurture them.

I'm spilling the beans on this,
but personally I know that if I
want a "free pass" on my
behavior with a woman, most
of the time I just have to tell her
a story about how I'm a victim
of some horrible, cruel, unfair
chain of events and all of a
sudden she'll allow any amount
of bad behavior from me.

This concept is the backbone of
what I was talking about in the
series about being "emotionally
devastated by a relationship".

You go in with the best of
intentions, but you compromise
your values, your needs and
your self-respect in order to
keep that other person.

The damage goes both ways
though in these cases. While
the woman is desperately trying
to heal the guy with her love
and patience, the guy has a
growing sense of guilt and
helplessness. He starts to buy
into the fact that he's a
damaged, wounded loser and
the relationship dynamic
devolves into more of a
mother-child dynamic.

At that point, it's no wonder
that the guy loses interest in
sex and attraction. It's not a
"sexy" dynamic, but people
have an amazing ability for their
relationship dynamics to quickly
become their one mode and
routine with one another.

This road to hell always starts
with the belief, "He can't help
it..."

Now the other poisonous
ingredient to most bad
relationships is what I call
emotional intoxication.

See, as human beings we
identify emotional experiences
by the change it makes to our
current emotional state.

This is a bit of an obscure
concept, but stick with me
because this was a huge
epiphany for me when I really
understood it...

Many of us have had the
experience of dating someone
who was... fine... ya know...
fine... but didn't blow you away.
They were nice, good to you,
good on paper, etc.

And then on the other hand,
many of us have been head
over heels for someone who's
terrible for us... Most of the
time, being with them was a
miserable existence... but when
times were good, it was
profoundly good.

Here's the weird thing about
human psychology... we tend to
value the toughest relationships
we have more due to the
emotional rollercoaster the
other person takes us on.

We don't know if our
interaction with them is going
to be terrible or great. And the
majority of the time the
relationship with them is more
stressful and unpleasant than
most typical relationships in
your life...

But when the relationship is
good, it's such a massive
difference from the norm that it
has an intoxicating effect.

Here's an analogy...

Have you ever been eating a
bunch of desserts to the point
where you can't eat anymore
sweet stuff? Too much
sweetness, it gets gross after a
bit.

But if you're eating a bunch of
salty food and then you get to
taste that sweetness, it's
amazing. It's a decadent
experience of pleasure to taste
that sweetness because all
you'd been tasting before was
salt.

Thing is, the sweetness wasn't
any sweeter than when you
were eating it after all of the
desserts. It's the contrast that
makes it feel so much more
pleasurable.

A bit of a stilted analogy I'll
admit, but I think it gets the
point across.

In emotionally intoxicating
relationships, most of the
relationship is toxic to you. It
makes you worry, it lowers your
self-esteem and instills a
tremendous sense of paranoia.

When times are good, though,
it's such a contrast to the
normal toxic baseline that it
appears far more profound and
moving.

This is one of the reasons why
movies and TVs love creating
the insensitive anti-hero
characters who, at the end of
the story, do something
incredibly caring or sensitive.

The contrast in behavior has a
lot more impact on the
audience than if it was
performed by a character that
was nice and did good deeds
the entire story.

This is one of the reasons why
leaving a bad relationship can
be so tough - the good times
feel dramatically heightened
because they're in such
contrast to the typical behavior
or character of your partner.

It's sad, but it's a truth about
human emotions and
relationship dynamics - we
don't always choose the best
person for us... we're drawn to
the person who moves us most
dramatically, but sometimes
the reasons for that impact are
not good."

[Flameseeker]

Can't possibly find the time to discuss your entire article, but good on you for having the patience to write it.

I do remember past lives. Through dreaming as a child & hypnotic regression as an adult +

I Believe TF are referenced in the bible " as the marriage made in heaven" " what God has joined together let no man put usunder".

[july14]

such theories are born when people experience things they cannot explain.

the danger I see in not the theories, but some/many claiming to have all answers, is that especially in times of pain and despair, people will lose sight of one important thing. which is, there are no two identical cases. and therefore some aspects of the theory will apply, while others won't.
the other danger is when many people who are too young to have had time to experience different aspects of love, come across these theories and start pushing them onto their love stories.
I came across the concept of twins after I have met mine and realized that while not everything applies, it is the closest explanation I could find on what was happening to me. and this happened at a stage where I have already lived some love stories and was able to see the difference.

[Flameseeker]

[quote= Originally posted by sister moon. As far as the Bible itself goes, tfs are mentioned in Isaiah 13:5. We mean business. I'm not quoting it word for word because I'm not interested in discussing it, just throwing the verse out there for anyone who wants to look it up if they're. Thanks for sharing. [/QUOTE]


Either your chapter & quote number are incorrect or another example of the Mandela Effect.

[intj123]

take what you believe, and discard the rest.

Obviously there are going to be a lot of different opinions, and everyone's situation seems a bit different, so none of those things could really be applied universally.

Try to just put it out of your mind for now, I'm like you, I overanalyze things, but I know that this is something that I probably won't really be able to figure out anytime soon. The one thing I have figured out is that there is not much I can do to change anything except change myself.

I think we eventually figure it out in due time, but I'm not going to sit around waiting for it, it could be 20 freggin years or never.

I'm really trying hard not to let this get to me anymore, I'm pretty focused on attaining more happiness right now, and I know that brooding over this TF thing does not make me happy at all.

[july14]

its funny how old text from religious and non-religious scripts are distorted, simply bc we don't realize something as simple as the language evolving and with that certain concepts and understanding of them changing. the language however carries so much truth if we know how to decipher it.

re your quote from the bible, I think men of today limit it to god joining two people in joining them in religious terms, i.e., you go to church, the priest confirms you now being man and wife and therefore giving you god's blessing to be together. I doubt the original thought in the bible was the same, and not meant in a context where god/universe having created two people for the purpose of union and serving together as a unit.

[Flameseeker]

Originally Posted by july14

its funny how old text from religious and non-religious scripts are distorted, simply bc we don't realize something as simple as the language evolving and with that certain concepts and understanding of them changing. the language however carries so much truth if we know how to decipher it.

re your quote from the bible, I think men of today limit it to god joining two people in joining them in religious terms, i.e., you go to church, the priest confirms you now being man and wife and therefore giving you god's blessing to be together. I doubt the original thought in the bible was the same, and not meant in a context where god/universe having created two people for the purpose of union and serving together as a unit.

Then why else is it termed "Marriage made in heaven"

The bible was written for all of humanity to decipher, not for priests to claim & interpret terms of marriage.
As they say God has no religion.

[taurusnsane]

Noone makes u believe it. I found the term after meeting mine and before the "soulmate" definition was just a big word. And even finding out what soulmates mean, soul families etc was new for me. Just thought it was a fantasy or whatever. Now that I live it, then I can personally can say all is true. Dont know how we were created, why and why me, but yeah, here I am living it

I see no point going over these facts u pointed out. Why argue, why doubt why why. Just live love and experience