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22-02-2012, 03:39 PM
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Twin Flames?!? Need advice
First I would like to write that according to MBTI I´m an INTJ - type called Strategist, Analytic, Mastermind......iNtuition 95%, Thinking 90%. Demographics - 2% of the population, in so clear form as me much less, she is INFP - Idealist, Dreamer (also around 2% of the population) few more things about me and her and then the rest.....
I´m (was?) a scientific type. Knowledge is my life - scientific knowledge and method - history, biology, evolutionary biology, psychology, economics, ecology, climatology, collapse of complex systems.
I have never felt a serious inclination to mysticism or religions.......I was proud of my atheism.
Now something about her: She is quite slim - it´s typical of INFPs as far as I know. We "met" online.
I decided to write her a message - there was no photo, only a little bit confusing text by Richard Bach from The Bridge Across Forever: "We're the bridge across forever, arching above the sea, adventuring for our pleasure, living mysteries for the fun of it, choosing disasters triumphs challenges impossible odds, testing ourselves over and again, learning love and love and love.......". and that she´s a university graduate and that was all. I honestly don´t know why I sent her info about me. I was in the situation where I very politely but firmly refused 4 women in previous days who were very interested in meeting me....... I wasn´t happy about it at all but I felt that I was doing the right thing.
I wrote her a few lines about me and completely forgot about it.......expecting nothing.
She wrote a week later 21.1.12 and send her photo, writing that we are from the same village of 500 people living in a city of 100 000. I have a very deep bond to this place, I intuitively feel I belong there, at home there. We probably met there as children - but no conscious memory. Her photo was beautiful with somehow „otherwordly“ look in her very bright blue eyes.
I wrote back more about me and when her answer came I lost my words for the first time – it was everything I have ever dreamed about and more...............a perfect, dream match - and I have very high standard and expectations. From this first letter I was 95% sure that she´s an INFP and being fresh to MBTI I learnt about the type what I could.
Then came another letter and while it was coming, there was my first „answer where I felt“ I should write to her what´s on my mind (happened several times so far).....It was the first what I now see as „synchronicity“ and she answered immediately with another letter writing about her beliefs – that we attract people we are supposed to meet in order to „grow“ in our lives.............
We slowly learned about our values – which are much the same – helping others, improve ourselves, live in a harmonious, fullfilling, deeply caring, loving relationship – she is a pediatrician in a hospital, I teach at high school.........she runs marathons, and trains almost every day, I do extreme fitness (also almost every day.....................we both do yoga).
When we met in person – it was on the 1.2.12 it didn ´t feel like meeting her for the first time at all – there was an instant recognition, instant warm feelings......... when she ordered in a restaurant she order the same thing I have chosen for myself in advance (let´s say another synchronicity). The whole meeting felt bittersweet, magical, melancholic.........like finding somebody who you have lost hope to find/ meet ever again. There were tears in our eyes after a single hour together and parting was completely unforgettable.
I felt a strange mix of melancholy, happiness, tension......... through the following weekend, writing 3 letters – the most emotional letters in my life – but balanced and very opened and helpful........as she mentioned........
She mentioned self-esteem issues, feeling of betrayal, doubts about herself.
She also said that she doesn´t feel really happy and that a person should be balanced and happy before entering a relationship. In her last letter she wrote that there was a progress but only step by step, uncertain steps though steps. (This is however relatively typical INFP behaviour in general)
My feelings about her are completely steady now and she knows it. She knows that I am willing to wait.
Because there were clues in the past and during the conversation and in the Bridge across forever book (I´m reading it now), I started to look for info about soulmates (I always analyze.......that´ s what I do) and the first page I have read was this one:
Soul Mates and Twin Souls
I went through it and it was really weird. I would ignore it completely 4 weeks ago – finding it completely unscientific, crazy, new age madness......... Not anymore.
A few points (from many):
Twin souls are the last two souls to individualize. They are the last two peas from the same pod. (her nickname at dating page is pea.)
In this last lifetime, both will be carrying out a mission for the benefit of mankind, and this last life on earth should be free of health and wealth problems. (I´m very aware that there is a set of crises coming – predicting the 2008 crash 2.5 years in advance, aware of issues like peak oil, economic crises, ecological and population crisis – informing people about it..............I have really exceptional knowledge of these issues...... I have never been hospitalized...... never injured my most serious ilness was the flu) and I am relatively well off, I don´t know about her but she definitely seems to be without health problems and the family owns at least 2 houses as far as I know....)
We are very well developed: I could quote the whole How to prepare for our twin section as our life style description!!!
Twin souls have the same vibrations. when they meet they know instinctively that that this is the twin. Their vision, feeling and purpose are one.
The feeling for each other is nothing less than divines love. The unconditionality of their love equals loving your neighbour as thyself or loving the other as yourself. One does not love the other despite the other’s faults; one loves the other for the other’s faults as much as for the other’s virtues. (that´s what I feel now towards her – after few weeks – I have never felt anything like this ever).
During any twin-soul encounter, it is bound to be hypnotically momentous. A special feeling of energy seems to pass from one to the another beyond their control. This passage of energy is both nice and exciting. This is twin soul recognizing one another without involving the intellect.(spot on and that´s weird – I´m INTJ – intuition 95%, thinking 90%, judgement 79% - I don´t feel much, I think – well not now now I feel too.......)
Now in the last meeting both twins are either enlightened or nearly so. Therefore at this stage the recognition must be mutual. As they are so developed their mission in this last incarnation has a common purpose. Having the same aspirations, both would be working for the good of humanity. Their same intensity of love and compassion would make them persistent in their common pursuit. One could be the leader or innovator whilst the other is the steady workhorse.
Their mental capacity is of the same order. Their tastes in food, music and sense of humour are all the same. Both will either like the mountains or the sea. (mountains) Their handwriting and the lines on their palms are similar.(I don´t know.) At this stage of development, they both possess a polished sense of humour and are good-natured (spot on).
The so-called fight would not last long and the make-up is the sweeter.(Let´s pray for it...) Sometimes twin souls appear to be doing the same thing at the same time, e.g. writing letters to one another at the same time (happened-the last letter came when I was putting down another dating offer – it´s absolutely out of question-what could another woman offer me?!?).
Then when they meet during the last incarnation, the charged electricity and explosion would indicate in no uncertain terms that ‘this is it’ (totally spot on, completely uncomparable with anything I have ever felt....)
When they do meet, the age difference is of no consequence to them. They do not try to change each other for both accept each other as they are. Both are usually in the same state of health. Both normally have strong telepathic linkages, and if one is sad so is the other. Conversely, happiness in one very often infects the other even though they may be thousands of miles apart. Lastly, both tend to incarnate into similar social circumstances.
Other things: After initiating "research" of the topic of Twin flames I realized the following:
Numbers: First contact: 21.1
Meeting: 1.2.
My registration at dating site: 22.10.
Hers: 21.3. (Fibonacci)
From: the same place (village 500)
Her profession: Doctor (repeatedly stated I seek a doctor)
If I understand correctly she should be my "sister" my real sister has the same weight and height, eyes and hair colour.
Me and her have same eyes and hair colour and look similar in general features.
Another thing is that according to this concept, we should share the past lives and I realized in retrospect that my advertisement on the dating site is a lot about that being it M. Twain: To a Stranger.
I have also experienced the loss of father several weeks ago. It was very hard thing to live through - untimely and long, painful dying (it could probably fit to the dark night of the soul concept).
I could continue but to what end?
I should perhaps say that I wasn´t interested in dating in the past, though I can choose..........I started for "real" only after my father´s death.
I had an image of blue eyes, brown hair in my mind in the weeks before this................
I would never believe that this is possible or can be real, I would laugh at it aloud, I would believe that the one who says such thing is a waco..............such stupidities....... but now I can´t deny it because I´m experiencing it!!
I´m almost certain that she is familiar with these issues much more than I´m - I have never been interested in such things.
To describe my feelings: I´m totally for her, but I feel very balanced, stable, I dare to say that I love her as much as myself, but there is no powerful „attachment“, dependency and definitely no ownership. I feel somehow happy on my own, knowing that she is, exists, but there is also a kind of soul-ache, because she matters so much.
It´s like finding myself in a mysterious movie but this is a real deal! I believe in one thing to move from day to day and to embrace it – slowly but decisively, not to shy away from it. I don´t think it´s possible.
As for other women they are like pale shadows, but I´m not idolizing her I accept her weaknesses that she is unable to state her feeling openly so far and sends just clues........
She mentioned that she wants to deal with her past relationship question. It should be old - over 2 years ago at least.
She asked repeteadly for time. I don´t mind, but she seems to be "an expert" about these things from the pair.
From what I have learnt we should "clean our souls" before reunion - she is probably doing it???
My spirituality increased a lot after this experience.
Honestly I don´t know what to think about it, it is definitely a life changing experience.
This is so completely different from anything I have felt to other women................
Any thoughts, advices, feedback would be really appreciated........
I want to say that I haven ´t believed in the Source-God, afterlife, reincarnation and stuff like that I´m an atheist, but with what I´m experiencing now, I´m not so sure anymore....
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22-02-2012, 06:39 PM
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Master
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,095
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Wow, I think you and my twin flame may have stuff in common. (I think I needed to read that).
I always recommend people study their own spirituality and see where their own weaknesses are. It will help you to learn about yourself and draw in the energy of your twin/soul connection.
Also, you may benefit by studying Carl Jung's anima/animus. That is how my twin flame journey began. I used his image to focus on my own animus (inner male).
The more you get to know the feminine aspects of yourself, the more you are likely to attract her.
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22-02-2012, 09:10 PM
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Wow INTJ , to hear someone like you, who was a bit of a skeptic to these things before, coming on here and writing what you have is really refreshing and just kool! lol In a way it helps someone like me (who's always been in her own 'lala land'), because it makes me feel its not just all in my head. Thanks for posting this.
As 'scientific' as you are the way you write is very poetic,dunno if anyone has told you that.
I dunno what advice to give as you seem pretty clued up as it is. All I can say is your connection sounds great so far.
Besides the signs you have picked up on, what other feelings do you get?
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23-02-2012, 02:51 PM
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Thank you for your replies.
To gypsymystique: Can you give more details about your recommendation (animus/ anima) as well as your experience?
I think it´s a very good advice but before I am more specific, I would like to hear more from you why?
To Lilstar07: Now a little bit of egoism....... She asked for time.......repeteadly.........last contact 8 days ago.
So I´m asking why is she not writing? Does she really care about me?...........
But I feel what I feel and I am more or less in the "surrender" mode from the beginning (lets say from day 5 after meeting)........... I think that it´s the best thing I can do............ egoism and I want...... should have little place in relationships whether it´s a twin flame or not.
I stick with this description here. It makes sense - sort of :-).
Youtube: Stages of Twin Flame Relationships (I can´t send url)
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23-02-2012, 04:15 PM
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Ok ok..
Stop it with MBTI boxes.
You need to stop putting yourself and your love into these boxes.
It is human nature to put ourselves and others into some kind of boxes so we can control/rationalize differences. (whether it is race, gender, and etc..)
Our mind is more complicated than just boxes.
I studied and practiced MBTI with my employees, friends, love interests, and etc for years.
My conclusion is that each of us is individual and unique.
We are shaped by our own unique life experience, upbringings, current life situations, motivations, desires, talents, skills, and individual characteristics.
When you start judging a woman based on her MBTI, you will make a big mistake by not considering her as an unique individual and to find out what she wants in life and in relationship.
Start by getting to know her. The only way that you can find out about her is to "ASK her lots questions and really LISTEN to her"
Get yourself out of the box as well.
FYI, more than 50% of people come out with a different MBTI type whenever they re-take the test. I myself came up with 3 different types when I took it multiple times over the years.
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23-02-2012, 04:40 PM
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I´m far from "putting" her in a box. She is so unique!
Totally unique!
And I don´t think I´m in the box. If I were, I wouldn´t even be on this forum :-).
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23-02-2012, 04:46 PM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 4,161
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I don't even know what all this MBTI mumble jumble is..... I just give a weary sigh.
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23-02-2012, 06:15 PM
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why do you complicate yourself so much with personality tests stuff? o.O It really doesnt matter...btw i noticed that many people say they have a logical mind and then this tf stuff is happening to them. I tend to believe the rational minds fall the hardest actually...
what you posted from the article about loving unconditionally with all the flaws..thats not only a tf indicator...isnt that how real love/ affection for someone should be anyway?
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23-02-2012, 06:19 PM
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Master
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,095
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[quote=INTJ]
To gypsymystique: Can you give more details about your recommendation (animus/ anima) as well as your experience?
I think it´s a very good advice but before I am more specific, I would like to hear more from you why?
[quote]
All human relationships start with the anima/animus. You start with your mother/father, and then you start dating. When you start dating, you project your own anima (in the case of men) onto the women you are with. To learn not to project, you want to learn what the anima is and how to study yours. As you study your anima and the women you choose as a reflection/projection of yourself, then you will learn more about who you really are and who these women really are.
You learn to balance out the things that cause you pain, fear, anger or distress. You learn about yourself and how to avoid projecting.
Think about the arguments you have had with the women you have dated and how they sometimes accuse you of feeling something completely different than you think you do. They are likely projecting their own animus onto you at these moments, but they don't realize it.
Men project in a similar way. Once you start studying yourself and knowing about yourself, you are able to cut out much of the drama and actually attract someone who is a true match. (Sometimes that is a twin flame; sometimes it is a compatible soulmate). It's a much smoother experience either way.
This is as basic as I can make it, and it's really watered down.
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23-02-2012, 07:15 PM
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Super Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Over here.
Posts: 3,795
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This is my take on the topic.....I am not sure what a personality types have to do with this. Its not about a box where what race are you or are you in this age category. It is defiantly about rich and poor. So really, I do not see myself as a box.I see myself as outside of the box, we are all individuals who are all unique. You can not be put in a category. I do not classify people by what i see on the outside. Why would you want to be classified as a type? You are a human being.
We all grew up differently by others who have their own sets of beliefs and values etc... As we all know any relationship is not based on one thing. Its how perceive each other and what works for you. 2 separate people coming together to create something from who each is. You will drive yourself crazy and very unhappy filling out survey after survey and finding the similarities you have with a tf. Let it be , I say.
Any kind of love doesn't hold boundaries. Just like your own spirituality. Its based on what your beliefs and values are. Likes and dislikes. If you look at the yin and yang its black and white. opposites attracting. also if you meet in different life times you will recognize this person in any body it may be in.
Its about allowing destiny,fate. the universe what ever you want to call it to bring you and your tf together. If you are open to this and except tf for who they are.(Inside and out) They will in turn except you for who you are. Flaws and all.
Some twins just aren't ready for there twin yet. This is ok. If you need to work on yourself and the issues you may have its cool. If there are things you need to do before this relationship do so. In the end its how you feel with a relationship regardless if its tf or other. Its you who needs to be happy with something. It is not up to another to make you happy.
__________________
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