Twin flame had a baby without telling me

Hi everyone, firstly I would like to say thank you all so very much for sharing, your experiences have been very comforting. I have been a member here for a while but have been too shy to post. The last month has been one of the most confusing ever for me and I need to share now..shy or not.

I have a twin flame, I say that with the most certainty. I don't want to make this too long, so let just say both of us have acknowledged the bond and accepted it (doing the dance for a decade now). We have both been the runner and the chaser, I the first runner, then him. We have conversations that discuss the unconditional love we share, the inability for that love to regress regardless of time or circumstance and the ability for us to "see" things in our heads (we share a telepathy, and when at a distance from one another "see" the other).

I ran for quite a while, he never got mad, just said I want you to be happy even if its not with me. He waited quite a while, but when the universe landed him at my now ex-husbands bachelor party he gave up and moved on. He married someone else 2 weeks after I separated from my husband, and we began speaking in person a few months later.

Newly married and very unhappy he told me over and over he wanted to leave her. We did the typical dance for a year and a half. Early on his wife got pregnant and suffered a terrible miscarriage. He told me everything....he didnt really have a choice lol, he knew I would "know" anyways ;)

Over the course of the last year we would get really close then he would pull away, over and over. For the last 6 months I have "seen" in my mind that he wife was pregnant again, but he never said a word. When I saw him in person last I could hear it in his head....but I didn't ask, sometimes I feel crazy that I can see and hear this stuff. A few more months went by and he didnt say a word.

Last month I got a text from him saying: "I cant give you the attention you deserve right now", "Ill forever be worried about you, its never going to stop and I don't necessarily want it to" I haven't heard from him since. I know the day his daughter was born, and today it was confirmed when I found a pic online.

What I don't understand is why he wouldn't tell me? I know why he is still married, and even why he had a child, but why did he try to keep this from me?

Should I give him his space or confront him about this?

[scoobawater]

Hi fives on de-lurking and posting for the first time :) Very brave!

He probably didn't tell you because he didn't want to hurt you, didn't know how to tell you, distracted himself with his family to distance himself from his feelings for you -- with runners, you never know. They can use anything as a reason to shield themselves from the truth, amirite? Besides, he probably suspects you *knew* already.

I would send him a message congratulating him on the birth of his child and wish him and his family health and happiness. Then allow him to live his life. The rest is up to him.

I recommend reading Breathing Underwater by Julie Hopper. I read it recently and your story reminding me of hers.

[smARTistic girl]

Welcome belle.

I've only been in contact with my twin for two and a half years, so I can't imagine a decade's worth of "dancing". And what I've learned is that we love them for who they are, not who we wish they were. So I find the word 'confront' to be a bit strong. Most of these are not normal relationships - I know mine is not (large age gap, I'm married, he's dating). We never want to hurt our twin (nor the other important people in our lives). They are all dear to us, no need for jealousy really. I think I'd do just what scoobawater suggested. Congratulate him on the new child and let him know that you're supportive of him, no matter what life throws his way. If you are meant for more than that, it'll eventually happen. ;)

[Emm]

Welcome belle

I agree with all the above. Confronting him would put up more barriers through defence on his part, which will achieve nothing. Keep lines of communication open just by support and giving him space.

[SomewhereInTime]

I agree with the others about not confronting him. Just let things flow naturally.

Thank you all for the reply's, Im feeling much better now. Funny how a few days can make all the difference :)

Scoobawater, you pointed out something that I hadn't realized. He is the runner now. See I have been the runner all these years, it seems the tables have turned lol, somehow I find that amusing.

Smartistic girl - you are completely right, confront was the wrong word. TF and I have never had a confrontational conversation, Im not sure its possible. I guess I meant just to ask him why he went all these month not telling me. We saw each other in November, spent a few hours together and I could "hear" it in his head, I was hoping he would tell me. But perhaps scoobawater is right and he assumed i knew (which i did)

It seems the awakening never ends, just when I think I have figured it out stuff changes again. in the past when I felt discouraged I would just move on, date someone new, now that seems pointless.

TF and I have lived parallel lives, similar young lives, both married the same type of person (menatlly ill and abusive) and now both have daughters from that marriage (born 1 week apart, mine 3 years older) I should point out that he and I were also born 1 week apart (to the day).

It took me a lots of heart ache to learn how to love someone through their abuse, and how to love them enough to put up severe enough boundaries (and to protect their child from them, I speaking of my ex-husband) to make them finally get some help. Perhaps thats what he needs to go through too.

I dont know whats in the cards for TF and me this lifetime but I do know that Im ok just knowing he's ok. and thats enough for me.