The Masculine Twin Flame and sex

[wednesdayschild]

Originally Posted by Baile

When the spark is gone, but the desire for friendship is still there, people create narratives like this. It's also a way to ensure the other doesn't get hurt: "It's not you -- you're perfect -- it's me. I'm the problem." It's not meant as deception. Rather, it's the act of friend being thoughtful and loving.

I've done this myself, although at the time I would say I believed what I was saying. Now in retrospect I see I was too young and too insecure to deal with the dynamics openly and honestly. So I created a similar fantasy-type narrative (from my 'fairy princess' upbringing), and said whatever it took to avoid dealing with the actual flesh-and-blood reality.

Baile, sorry but I think you are missing my point again.
He said HIS spark had gone since we didn't communicate. Not his spark for me. The point he was making was that him and I ARE the spark. Sorry maybe I didn't explain myself well enough.
Can I just say yet again that this is in fact a TWIN FLAME thread. We cannot talk about these connections like they are normal 3D relationships. It's a 5D spiritual connection that is manifested in the 3D into physical human bodies. If you watch lectures or read articles about twin flame couples they all say the same. The RULES that society has imposed on males and females over history are outdated and have to be replaced to allow a new paradigm of unconditional love (amongst other aspects). Therefore THE MALES AND FEMALES IN THESE CONNECTIONS ARE HAVING TO GO THROUGH A LONG HARD PERIOD OF EVOLUTION AND SELF GROWTH mostly APART to prepare themselves for Union.

[wednesdayschild]

Originally Posted by BlueCat

I used to feel the same, it's really weird when they tell you are sorta like a "pure virgin creature" and put you in a pedestal, instead of a person with their faults, sexual drive and not perfect and innocent as they think lol.
I think at least this was overcame a long time ago. Or at least i believe it so.

I am not innocent by any means, but I have learned that the best sex is sacred sex shared with deep love and respect. I think my DM WANTS me to be that way in his head so that him not having sex with me (even though I know he wants to) will kind of make him believe that HE is being 'pure' also.
For me I need balance. I love, respect and feel very nurturing, sensual and affectionate towards him. But there's that flame...oh boy that flame!

[wednesdayschild]

Originally Posted by Renessme

In my case it was I who put him on a pedestal. It felt like I was objectifying him if I think of him in "that way". I also don't like other people objectifying him.

Reading your comments now made me realize about a lot of things. I hope he did not feel rejected bec I cannot lust for hin. But I know i mentioned to him once that women cannot talk lustfully or think of lewd thoughts about a man they really love. Respect is a big thing for me.

There's nothing wrong with 'lewd' thoughts and lust if in the connection you have respect, trust and honesty. It's all about balance. Sexual attraction is natural it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's how you balance that inside of your relationship that matters

[wednesdayschild]

Originally Posted by jro5139

Of course I want to be seen as the Divine Feminine Powerful Creature, that's what I am:) I also want to be wanted (by my tf) and what I don't understand about this is, why can't we be both?

With my twin, it's a little different. I realized that when he backed out of us having that part of our relationship, it was because he knew he wasn't in a place to fully give that to me, he couldn't give me what I needed and he did not want to do anything to risk our friendship falling apart. He would rather keep me as a friend, than do anything that might end in me ending up hating him forever. So he put his desires aside in exchange for keeping me in his life as opposed to risking things not working out and me hating him.
With my twin, he has issues with trust and that's why he told me he's never let another person in like that. But it has nothing to do with thinking sex is dirty.

It sounds to me that your twin has issues in regards to sex (thinking it's a dirty or negative thing in general), and so, it has to be one or the other, either you're a divine friend or someone he thinks about sex with? Your twin flame should be both.

As far as the pedestal goes... I've felt this from my twin as well, he has told me that I am perfect (I'm not), but this isn't the reason we aren't together. Yes he has fear, which is related to trust issues. So I have been trying all this time to figure out how to make him understand that he can trust me. And since it is so hard to get him to fully open up and say what his true feelings are, it's hard to ever know if I'm getting anywhere.

I could just give up and go somewhere else, but he is my Divine Counterpart, so why would I want anything less than that?

We can be both! We ARE both an I think this is what we are here to 'teach' our DMs...not by showing them or telling them necessarily but by just being Divine Feminines...balancing all our beautiful aspects so that the DM can balance his .........that's called UNION <3

[Renessme]

I guess i was young and naive when i developed that line of thinking, fairy and wednesday. Though i believe in love making. I'd like to think it wasn't just passing hormones. I was beginning to understand then the difference between lust and love. I can blame it on religion or upbringing but that is that. If i can explain further its not that i do not wanna have sex with him. In fact i want to make love with him. And when i think about him or fantasize about him I want to cuddle and hug him more actually. It's like wanting to be with him without objectifying him. Just like we women do not want to be seen just for sex. A little hard to explain and thanks to you too i am seeing that maybe i should correct that.

[Khalli]

Originally Posted by jro5139

......

As far as the pedestal goes... I've felt this from my twin as well, he has told me that I am perfect (I'm not), but this isn't the reason we aren't together. Yes he has fear, which is related to trust issues. So I have been trying all this time to figure out how to make him understand that he can trust me. And since it is so hard to get him to fully open up and say what his true feelings are, it's hard to ever know if I'm getting anywhere.

I could just give up and go somewhere else, but he is my Divine Counterpart, so why would I want anything less than that?

Part of the problem is how males are brought up and role models. We are taught at a young age to bottle our emotions up, that it's a sign of weakness to show softer emotions and women want a manly man. I say this after going through a very transformational period becoming more balanced within myself energy wise, I can see how I was raised led to some issues I had younger and now I am more peaceful.

I am more open too with my emotions and happier.

[BlueCat]

Originally Posted by wednesdayschild

I am not innocent by any means, but I have learned that the best sex is sacred sex shared with deep love and respect. I think my DM WANTS me to be that way in his head so that him not having sex with me (even though I know he wants to) will kind of make him believe that HE is being 'pure' also.
For me I need balance. I love, respect and feel very nurturing, sensual and affectionate towards him. But there's that flame...oh boy that flame!

It happened a similar thing in the past in my connection, for him thinking of anything sexual towards me was "tainting" and that would "get me dirty??" and not a natural experience that happens in most TF/SC connections and other ones.
I remember when he felt not good enough/feeling bad for me, hence the running away with someone else. It was one of these things that made him run and it's not the only one reason.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by jro5139

With my twin, it's a little different. I realized that when he backed out of us having that part of our relationship, it was because he knew he wasn't in a place to fully give that to me, he couldn't give me what I needed and he did not want to do anything to risk our friendship falling apart. He would rather keep me as a friend, than do anything that might end in me ending up hating him forever. So he put his desires aside in exchange for keeping me in his life as opposed to risking things not working out and me hating him.

Jro, my twin has said basically the same thing. It's hard to understand how someone wants you in their life so much yet is scared to take things further. I'm also trying to figure out how to help him understand that he can fully trust me and let me in. All I can do is show him by example, just by being there for him.

I'm also glad to hear others say they feel put upon a pedestal by their twin.

It amazes me how so many tf's talk about having the same experiences like this. Must be something to it.

[Flameseeker]

Sorry but from what I've read, this is not a TF relationship.
This is an abusive relationship you should be walking away from.

You need to wake up & stop using the TF label to excuse him of his treatment for you.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Flameseeker

Sorry but from what I've read, this is not a TF relationship.
This is an abusive relationship you should be walking away from.

You need to wake up & stop using the TF label to excuse him of his treatment for you.

I haven't picked up on anything that's abusive. But there is a lot of both dysfunctional behavior and enabling going on here. Someone in a relationship can only be mistreated if they choose to allow the other to mistreat them.