Runners why are you actually here for?

[Aldous]

Gertrude Love?
http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...83#post1591583

[starstar]

Originally Posted by ForgedInFire

The most common of all is the excessive talk and pushing of illusions that they are "happy" with their current lives and who they are with.

Oooh really? Do you expect us to actually believe that? Some might be deceived by what you say but i am however not.

wonder if Ryan Gosling was trying to deceive us all with his happy life. Bad Ryan.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

It's interesting. Our paths are strictly our own. The twin flame thing seems about two people converging on and sharing the same path. Is that even possible or am I way off the mark?

I wonder a lot about what this twin flame thing really is and try to figure out how it plays out in life so I think this is an interesting way of thinking of it.

[Anne]

Our paths can be greatly influenced by those we love.
No one walks a solitary path unless that is what they choose to do.

Call me a ‘dyed in the wool romantic’ if you will.. I believe two people can and will converge to walk the same path, be it for a season or a lifetime, if that is what they choose to do.

The Runner/Chaser dynamic is funny to me. So Shakespeare, and a comedy at that (or rather several comedies, lol).

From what I know these roles are assigned then reversed in countless measure.

Best not get too hepped up about it..

[Aldous]

twin intoxication

[Ariaecheflame]

I was a runner for a while from myself and also from the love of my husband but now days we are in a warm and loving relationship which nurtures and serves mine and my husband's shared journey.

I ran so many times from him but it was all in perfect order... He was very patient and kind to me and gave me a safe sanctuary to heal from childhood trauma as I learned to feel held in acceptance and love. No other person I have had a romantic connection to was able to take that role for me to heal but him... He saw something in me and in us which was beyond that which I was trying to project in order to feel lovable by my insanely high standards of myself.

It took a certain kind of strength and empathy for him to not just give up on me - for all the pain and suffering I had experienced he seemed to have faith that if he remained a loyal friend to me... Listening without being judgement of me that it would pay off for us both in the long run and it has...

The thing is that trauma survivors have never been made to feel safe to be who they are and if neglect is a part of the picture - we search for the love and encouragement we needed as children which was never safe for us to have... We are always subconsciously trying to prove our value and yet we just want to be accepted for who we are... Imperfect beings who deserve love.

Mundane love to a survivor of neglect and childhood trauma doesn't feel like love to us and so we might seek out big and bold expressions of love... It takes time to come home into the security of self - and settle in to the magic of that comforting love within... Let alone in the safety of another love.

Real love... As I have learnt is not always big and bold... Mystical and full of spiritual magic and syncronicitoes although... It definitely can be in the beginning such as I have experienced it.

Real love is often the mundane every day stuff... Patience, friendship, understanding... Loyalty, forgiveness, compassion, acceptance of what is, communication through misunderstqadings and being fully present with another person in the now... And always willing to choose to either work with each other in a way which is mutually beneficial and supportive or each others individual path or let go to some degree of things which are no longer serving the greatest good for all. ... It is not perfect though... It is a working progress.


Why am I here on these forums?

Because I have been both blessed and I have also worked towards being whole within myself... To find my joy within and to bring my whole self into a loving and ever evolving relationship with another person with whom I share my life journey.
I hope to bring some hope and here.
I am here to hopefully bring some light here on these forums and hope for others to find their own authentic selves... And to see the blessings whatever they may be for each person as they settle in to wholeness and self love.

My inner peace is not defined by my outer circumstances...
My outer circumstances are influenced by my inner peace... Self love and my ability to he grateful for who I am and how much I have accomplished as a spiritual being... And for what I have been blessed to recieve.
With or without all those blessings... I still have who I am on the on the inside and I know that person to be good and worthy. .. I trust that all is well.

I am very proud of how far I have come and I am proud of how far my husband and my relationship has come through all its ups and downs as well...

I did the inner work to healing and wholeness and it pays off every day - I try each day to nurture myself as I am a valuable part of this world who gives a lot and who also is deserving, like everyone else, of love.

Patience, respect, friendship, kindness, empathy and understanding is what made our relationship work...

[ForeverRestless]

Originally Posted by emeraldheart

I was a runner for a while from myself and also from the love of my husband but now days we are in a warm and loving relationship which nurtures and serves mine and my husband's shared journey.

I ran so many times from him but it was all in perfect order... He was very patient and kind to me and gave me a safe sanctuary to heal from childhood trauma as I learned to feel held in acceptance and love. No other person I have had a romantic connection to was able to take that role for me to heal but him... He saw something in me and in us which was beyond that which I was trying to project in order to feel lovable by my insanely high standards of myself.

It took a certain kind of strength and empathy for him to not just give up on me - for all the pain and suffering I had experienced he seemed to have faith that if he remained a loyal friend to me... Listening without being judgement of me that it would pay off for us both in the long run and it has...

The thing is that trauma survivors have never been made to feel safe to be who they are and if neglect is a part of the picture - we search for the love and encouragement we needed as children which was never safe for us to have... We are always subconsciously trying to prove our value and yet we just want to be accepted for who we are... Imperfect beings who deserve love.

Mundane love to a survivor of neglect and childhood trauma doesn't feel like love to us and so we might seek out big and bold expressions of love... It takes time to come home into the security of self - and settle in to the magic of that comforting love within... Let alone in the safety of another love.

Real love... As I have learnt is not always big and bold... Mystical and full of spiritual magic and syncronicitoes although... It definitely can be in the beginning such as I have experienced it.

Real love is often the mundane every day stuff... Patience, friendship, understanding... Loyalty, forgiveness, compassion, acceptance of what is, communication through misunderstqadings and being fully present with another person in the now... And always willing to choose to either work with each other in a way which is mutually beneficial and supportive or each others individual path or let go to some degree of things which are no longer serving the greatest good for all. ... It is not perfect though... It is a working progress.


Why am I here on these forums?

Because I have been both blessed and I have also worked towards being whole within myself... To find my joy within and to bring my whole self into a loving and ever evolving relationship with another person with whom I share my life journey.
I hope to bring some hope and here.
I am here to hopefully bring some light here on these forums and hope for others to find their own authentic selves... And to see the blessings whatever they may be for each person as they settle in to wholeness and self love.

My inner peace is not defined by my outer circumstances...
My outer circumstances are influenced by my inner peace... Self love and my ability to he grateful for who I am and how much I have accomplished as a spiritual being... And for what I have been blessed to recieve.
With or without all those blessings... I still have who I am on the on the inside and I know that person to be good and worthy. .. I trust that all is well.

I am very proud of how far I have come and I am proud of how far my husband and my relationship has come through all its ups and downs as well...

I did the inner work to healing and wholeness and it pays off every day - I try each day to nurture myself as I am a valuable part of this world who gives a lot and who also is deserving, like everyone else, of love.

Patience, respect, friendship, kindness, empathy and understanding is what made our relationship work...

Wow, emerald heart, thank you so much for telling your story. I was so struck by it as it reflects the journey I'm on right now and the things I'm trying to reconcile. Sure, I felt that big, bold love you speak of with my Twin, but he is broken and I was broken (probably still am). He wasn't able to be strong for me, to love me how I needed. And now, the man I'm with and have been with for a long time... he loves me in such a strong way. It's not super exciting and it's not spiritual and sometimes that feels weird or boring, but it's what my inner child needs, I guess. I never had a life at home with my parents that was not fraught with turmoil. I then went on to school where I was mistreated by classmates, and on to adulthood where I was taken for granted by men over and over. As you probably know, even my Twin walked away. But my partner now, he's a rock. He's here for me through everything and loves me even in my ugliness, my bad moods, my bad behaviors, my unhealthy patterns, my outward projects of childhood trauma. I know he loves me though I often do not understand why, maybe because I know he does not really understand me--not like twin does, at least. But he does not have to understand me to love me anyway. I'm trying to learn to be content in this stable, comforting, nurturing love, which feels like nothing I've ever had. In context, I'm never sure I even understand what love is, because everything I ever felt before was either some sort of infatuation, curtailance of boredom or distraction from my own issues. Well, until I met Twin. The purity and completion and total understanding and unconditional love is the only thing I know, at this juncture, how to define as love. It's the only thing that feels true or real to me and I compare everything to it unfairly. But I also know that my Twin was ill-equipped to be the man I needed, and I had to walk away from that because I knew I deserved better. And by having my heart open to new experiences, I had a man show up who is equipped and able and willing. And I don't understand it and don't know how to love him in return in any way that feels complete. Because my understanding of love was blown up and expanded by meeting my Twin and now this new, simple love seems small. But it's here, and it's for me. And we share all of this together. Our Sunday morning coffee in the back yard, our Tuesday nights on the couch binge-watching TV, our investments in our home, our road trips to other states during which this man will even let me drive his car. It's safe and I don't know how to handle it. I don't even know how to be scared to lose it... again because it feels small in comparison to the big things I've already lost. But I have a feeling this is going to be what heals me. And if he can help me understand love in a new way, I look forward to being happy in that. To growing old with him. Because even though some days can be crazy-restless with memories and longings for Twin, my current partner has given me something no man ever has, and while it doesn't frighten me or make my heart sing, he's always here for me.

[Ariaecheflame]

"Making your heart sing"

Lately I have felt my heart sing just with the thought of allowing myself the home and inner sanctuary my inner child needs and deserves.

More and more it is the little things which make my heart sing... Sharing a meal, a movie, a camping trip and laughing with others.

To me the magic... Is so often in the rituals of the mundane...

And the little rituals and moments shared with others bring the connection I seek and my wounded inner child soak up.

I had a catalyst come into my life a few years into my relationship with my husband to open me up to my potential but for a long time it served me to obsess about finding and reaching some elusive elevated version of myself which I deemed to be acceptable and worthy to be loved...

When all I really needed like so many others was to just be loved and accepted as I am in the moment... Imperfect yet always doing my best to honour myself and others.

The mundane to me is now far from boring...
It feels comforting to me as God felt to me when I was a child - accepting, kind, forgiving, loyal, encouraging, forgiving and compassionate.

When we feel relaxed and at home with ourselves and in relationships there is a safety we may feel safe to try new things and to flourish...

Striving to be loved all the time... Seems to make love in the now feel elusive - because we are never enough if we are always striving for love and acceptance.

Though my relationship started off with many spiritually serindipidous aspects... The true magic has been in the seemingly mundane.

My catalyst used to direct me to things which I thought I should do and how I should be in order to make my heart sing...

But the reality is that I was constantly striving to be accepted and loved as I am without all that striving...

I honestly do not know what makes my heart sing... Other than simply being present in the now - I love seeing the pink gallahs all gathered on the telegraph lines each morning above my house... Or when the owl comes around in the evening... Or the lizard in my garden comes out to sunbake or when my cat and dog decide to stop chasing each other around the house and instead just snuggle up together for a nap.

The heart is not limited to just one thing to make it sing... In my experience it is most often the simplist of things which make it happy.

There are things I enjoy -Hobbies and talents I have, playing music, singing, dancing, gardening, pets and friendship but...

They all serve me to bring me into the now - it is those little things which I feel are priceless...

What is the point of magic - without the mundane?

Perhaps the so called chasers could learn a thing or two from the so called runners...

Haha... The good thing about my experience in the past as a so called runner... Is that I am usually always running closer towards my centre of truth...

If I run... My intuition has more often than not alerted me to something which is not serving my highest good in the moment...

My instincts are usually top notch...

I ran away from the cult I was raised in when I was 12... If I had stayed I would have been more damaged than I was... It took courage to leave ... I ran away from home where I was not getting the support I needed when I was 16 and moved into a home with people who supported me and helped me out for some time... I recently walked away from an organisation I was working for he cause they were treating their staff appallingly... I walked away from an abusive friendship... It needed to be done for both of our best interests... It was sorely unhealthy

My instincts were top notch - I never walk away without reason. ..

Sometimes... Walking away... Is actually the best and healthiest and most self supporting and self loving thing a person can do...

[Ariaecheflame]

Perhaps some runners have great instincts

[Ariaecheflame]

Originally Posted by emeraldheart

Haha... The good thing about my experience in the past as a so called runner... Is that I am usually always running closer towards my centre of truth...

If I run... My intuition has more often than not alerted me to something which is not serving my highest good in the moment...

My instincts are usually top notch...

I ran away from the cult I was raised in when I was 12... If I had stayed I would have been more damaged than I was... It took courage to leave ... I ran away from home where I was not getting the support I needed when I was 16 and moved into a home with people who supported me and helped me out for some time... I recently walked away from an organisation I was working for he cause they were treating their staff appallingly... I walked away from an abusive friendship... It needed to be done for both of our best interests... It was sorely unhealthy

My instincts were top notch - I never walk away without reason. ..

Sometimes... Walking away... Is actually the best and healthiest and most self supporting and self loving thing a person can do...

I had to quote myself...

I am beginning to see how great my instincts were in all of these harmful situations...

I walked away from an abusive cult and I never work for organisations which treat people without dignity and respect...

For me... Walking away from abuse and inauthenticity Is actually one of my greatest strengths...

I'd rather be poor, homeless and struggling than sacrifice what I know to be true to my path and my spiritual and emotional well being.

Every time I have walked away from anything it has been out of self love and respect...

I've been judged as not sticking things out at times... But the truth is that my instincts are so strong that I am simply unable to ignore them.

He!

On so many occasions I have done a runner... Because I am strong... And full of courage... And Self respect... And I was following my instinct.

Apparently I am very good at following my intuition!!!

Hahaha -

Anyways... That was a side note