To let it out and share

I just dont like this post, sorry, lol.... Mainly cause you sound like someone I once knew, and she would write that letter word for word if she ever were to write me again... It's been 3 years. :/ And really agree with the above post/relate to it... so maybe Idk maybe you should think again about them, and see that they are a multi-faceted personality... If I were to write her back, I would say everything was real, but you denied who I am. Among many other things... Peace.

[MutedBlue]

Originally Posted by darkness

I just dont like this post, sorry, lol.... Mainly cause you sound like someone I once knew, and she would write that letter word for word if she ever were to write me again... It's been 3 years. :/ And really agree with the above post/relate to it... so maybe Idk maybe you should think again about them, and see that they are a multi-faceted personality... If I were to write her back, I would say everything was real, but you denied who I am. Among many other things... Peace.

I think about them everyday, understand about the multi faceted personality, and thank you Graelwyn for your viewpoint, it has given me something to reflect on.

Darkness, I hope I haven't opened an old wound, like I wrote, some stories can be similar.

[HerzeleidMeister]

I cannot relate with this because I have a good relationship with mine, but sometimes twin flame relationships do not always work out and its unfortunate. I hope that you can move on and be strong. The relationship has probably helped you in some ways although its also hindered you as well.

I mourn the loss of the person you showed yourself to me to be. I grieve for what I thought you were or who I wanted you to be. The intellectual you, the thoughtful you, is who you came on strong as. Then you turned out to be self-obsessed and shallow. Two sides to the same person. You claimed once to be many things to many people. Different things to each person. No wonder you ultimately feel misunderstood. You try to absorb people, be who they need you to be--always a different side to you is emphasized--and it's never really all just you. I see you hating yourself at the very same time your voice says you like who you are. I wonder if there is a "real you". It seems you lose yourself in drugs to live with yourself for what you've done to other people in your life. The ones you systematically helped awaken and then try to destroy. It is like a compulsion or sickness in you.

Gosh, so much disappointment, how painful. It seems to me this is why it's wise not to idolize anyone. Is it really that person's responsibility to live up to your ideals? I wonder if the only one you can safely have expectations for is yourself?

All of us human beings are less than omniscient and therefore less than perfect. I think chances are strong that absolute statement is true.

I don't understand this "twin flame" concept, but the more I read, the less attractive it becomes.

I have found true love in my life, but we aren't perfect, nor do we expect each other to be so. We know each other well...I think he knows me better than I do. I've had numerous incapacitating insecurities which he dislikes. He calls these insecurities my "sylvia". He jokes about them when they arise...oh there's sylvia again...gotta love her. He can have high expectations and be critical over trivialities. He calls those aspects of himself "fred". When they arise we note...well there's fred again...gotta love him. The thing about this technique is, we're admitting the fact that we don't always act in perfect accordance with our higher self, but we love each other anyway. We can laugh at these aspects because we know our love will prevail in spite of them...slowly these maladaptive ways of thinking and behaving are falling away.

To put someone on a pedestal isn't being a good friend, imo. A good friend recognizes your weak areas and assists you in mastering them. A good friend keeps their eyes firmly focused on your radiant true self even when it's beset by darkness and loves you with all their heart.

[MutedBlue]

Originally Posted by gentledove

To put someone on a pedestal isn't being a good friend, imo. A good friend recognizes your weak areas and assists you in mastering them. A good friend keeps their eyes firmly focused on your radiant true self even when it's beset by darkness and loves you with all their heart.

This person was not put on a pedestal, and was repeatedly forgiven for hurtful behavior, which I finally decided wasn't worth taking anymore. Also this person went on the defensive every single time I offered to help with issues they were having. Even if someone says they love you, and may even feel that love with all their heart, if they stop treating you like they do, it's time to separate from that person unless a radical realization happens on their part.

Originally Posted by MutedBlue

This person was not put on a pedestal, and was repeatedly forgiven for hurtful behavior, which I finally decided wasn't worth taking anymore. Also this person went on the defensive every single time I offered to help with issues they were having. Even if someone says they love you, and may even feel that love with all their heart, if they stop treating you like they do, it's time to separate from that person unless a radical realization happens on their part.

Yes, I agree. If someone's actions are hurtful to you and they don't wish to change, you have the right to remove yourself from their influence. As a matter of fact it's the height of wisdom to do so.

[zipzip]

Muted Blue,

this was a very soulful and heartfelt post. I hope that this helps in the healing.

Glad you were so open and honest.



zipzip

Originally Posted by MutedBlue

It's going on two years since I've been profoundly changed by a TF connection. Whether it was a genuine one or one designed by this person, it fits all the emotions and thoughts of a TF experience regardless.

Because of the need to stay away, I feel I must release what I need to say to this person here, in letter form, and if anyone can relate to what I've gone through (some of our experiences are similar) I hope it can be of some benefit to them as well.

Here goes:

Dear person who will never leave,

Once again I can feel you in my head. At these times I get a sneaky suspicion that this is when I am the last thing on your mind. If a thought of me passes through your consciousness I'm sure it is when you are the furthest thing from my thoughts. You have changed me forever. I mourn the loss of the person you showed yourself to me to be. I grieve for what I thought you were or who I wanted you to be. The intellectual you, the thoughtful you, is who you came on strong as. Then you turned out to be self-obsessed and shallow. Two sides to the same person. You claimed once to be many things to many people. Different things to each person. No wonder you ultimately feel misunderstood. You try to absorb people, be who they need you to be--always a different side to you is emphasized--and it's never really all just you. I see you hating yourself at the very same time your voice says you like who you are. I wonder if there is a "real you". It seems you lose yourself in drugs to live with yourself for what you've done to other people in your life. The ones you systematically helped awaken and then try to destroy. It is like a compulsion or sickness in you.

Yet here you are, ingrained in my mind. Do you realize that when I'm through hating how you are, you stay residing in my head? I suppose it's a trick you've learned through your many studies on human nature, psychology, and your power to influence. Some days I see you as pathetic. Others I strongly feel you as a part of me. You did open up a new level of understanding in me. You "raised my vibration" if you will. If you were to see me now, you may not even see the same person you had grown fond of anymore. My less naive view of the world around me may have made me less appealing to you. How much of you was real? How much was played up as someone I would be attracted to?

At this point, you are no longer a person to me anyway. You are like a spirit within, the idea of you is what I carry around with me. You are my imaginary friend, my pretend soulmate. My concept of you will be vastly different than the literal you. The you who is broken, empty, used up, and who has thrown away and rejected all your gifts or used them to hurt and manipulate. That you I want to forget forever. Since I can't escape, you will be endured and remembered as someone who touched my very core and gave me the gift of curiosity.

--If you've read this far, I thank you.

Its going on five years since my journey with my TF began so I have been where you are. I hope the following offers you some comfort:

Letter to my twin 3 years ago:
I can't understand how I can love and hate someone so much all at the same time. When I met you I thought happiness has finally entered into my life. Now I see it was all a cruel joke. I can't understand how someone can easily know weverything to do to make me happy but at the sametime knows every single thing to do that would break my heart.
I didn't ask for this (the connection) but it came to me.I've done everything I can do. In return you run away. I don't want to let you go but I will if I have to. But can you?
Where would I be without you? Who would I be if I never met you? I know I'm not good at expressing my feeling but I just want to let you that I do love you. If you don't feel the same way then I have to find a way to be without you.

This was my grieving stage, and it very normal in this kind of connection. Between then and now I have learned a lot. I also learned that the relationship was so difficult was because of the mirror effect. He was grieving as well, but I wasn't aware of it at the time. For our personal experience we didn't understand how to show love or receive it. I struggled with low self esteem, self love, looking to him for happiness, and looked to him to fix all my problems. His behavior triggered all that in me. Once that was bought to my attention and I have worked out these issues I realize now that he didn't "treat" me bad. He just magnified all my pain and sorrow that I always had. I did the same to him. THAT was the struggle. As of today we are still not perfect, but better than we were.
There's no way around it, you have to take care of you first. But it will be ok because as painful as it is its all apart of the process. Once you get past this part everything else will naturally fall into place. The positive side of the mirror effect is that as you start to become better and change, so will he.
My twin ran from emotions because he felt he didn't deserve love. This happened way before me. Now, tho we're still working on it, he admits to the insecurities and is open to telling me way he did some of the things he did. And now he admits to being so connected to me even when I'm not there that it ****es him off! But if these things never happened to us in the beginning neither one of us would have been able to surrender to the connection.
Hope this offers some help
:hugs: it'll all be ok

I should add that I seeked the help of a spiritual advisor who understands spirit connections and can read energies. I had hit too many walls and couldn't take it anymore. She gets the credit for showing me what exactly was going on. She put me on the right path. Everything has fallen into place since. If its something you may be interested in one day let me know. I'll be happy to share :)