Reconciling non duality with retaining individuality in spirit

[Emmalevine]

This is something that has always confused me. I know I'm trying to understand it logically which may be part of the problem but regardless of that I'm hoping someone with good spiritual awareness may be able to explain it.

If each of us are part of the Whole and we are essentially One then persumably after death we go back to that experience of Oneness. How then can we reconcile this with the belief that our loved ones and other spiritual beings retain their individuality? In fact how do we explain individuality at all since we didn't exist in the same form prior to carnation.

I feel really stupid writing this out as people on this forum appear to have such an advanced understanding of such matters, but hey ho I'm putting this out there because I really want to understand the bigger picture.