Why don't I believe what my tarot cards are telling me, regards to my romantic feelin

[Cloud64]

I grew to be honest, true and tell it how I see it. I use to lie to others and to myself of my true feelings. I use to not speak up and stay quiet while others speak for me and tell me what to do. I use to be so caring for everyone and less caring to myself. But once i met my long distance friend, how i told her my thoughts and about my past. I began to not care what others think anymore, i began to show my true self and be brave to speak up. I learn to love who i am and even my faults. I learn to only let in the people who care for me and kick out the ones who only want to use me. It took time, but that time was me finding myself and i still am. I am 30 years old never had a relationship, that was my choice. I do want a relationship I do want to care for someone but i have to learn to care for me as well. To have a healthy relationship you must learn to be independent and be committed to your partner. My parents i look up to, i see their differences yet i see their unconditional love for each other and that it what i want in a partner. I want to travel, i did some traveling recently. I went on a road trip 9hour drive to see my best friend. It help me clear my mind and open my eyes that i can do the things i was so afraid to do alone. I use to have someone by my side whatever i am doing. I never learn to do things on my own due to my shyness and fears. So i am still growing, still learning about myself and what i came to find out is that i want to travel. See the world and make friends along the way.

[Cloud64]

I will read up more about twin flames and tarot and many other spiritual things. I am very drawn into spiritual stuff just like my long distance friend. She and I believes in spirituality. Even though we do sometimes question it out of curiosity