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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #11  
Old 20-07-2017, 06:30 AM
Lorelyen
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Myvie
It's my apartment and I'm not ready to change where I am but I would be willing to burn everything in a heap and live In a ditch than put up with such pathetic manipulative b ssss

As for the moment a huge tree just fell down around my alter
Why the trees???!!!!
This is what happens when I get pushed too far, it was just a tiny spell for me too...
It crushed in an apartment and a car and a gazebo.
This time it wasn't taken, it jumped.

Probably shouldn't exist I don't feel like I'll ever learn to work with this
I just want a stable relationship

A topic worth looking at is about closing one door before opening another.
http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...d.php?t=115170

If it's your home you have to work out ways to get rid of him - everything
from turning him off (from you) to something legal. You can only
be manipulated if you allow yourself to be manipulated. If there's a whiff
of violence there must be some legal action possible.

If it IS your home and you let him into your life then at least you've learned
a powerful lesson about your vulnerability and must now shore up defences.



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  #12  
Old 20-07-2017, 11:53 AM
Myvie Myvie is offline
Knower
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 140
 
No violence. One thing smashed once because he had a hissy that I protested being ignored and treated like garbage

I read that thread and wrote there already. .it is very good

I didn't just let him in I basically put him here when I should have let him prove he could situate and sort out himself a little more like a grown man first

Its this horrible resentment that someone you give and give to and love and fully were willing to be a team with who let on like they believed all the same stuff thinks it's okay to turn into a selfish parasite and thinks I'm just gonna sit around and put up with it

I would kick him out and I might but that wouldn't be satisfying after everything. He would only use it to whine some more about being the victim and learn absolutely nothing. He would only use that to confirm I am cruel and he had every right to being a complete d

In contrast.....Him painfully knowing what a piece of garbage he and his behaviour have been would be real satisfying.
It's stupid and childish and angry of me but for the time being I can't shake that feeling of wanting to force a concept of reality down on him real hard.
That is what I wanted especially when so angry. Maybe it's pointless and I'll get over it but a good psychological smack-down is still in order right now as far as I'm concerned, in any way I can elicit it. That was what the spell was for and only done long after it was clear no other things were going to work.

I'm at my worst in years very unexpectedly, recently. Mental and physical health unrelated thing that developed.

This is not the time and I'm not feeling like letting much go for someone so evil they would pick now of all times to be hateful and hurtful.
It's this or I'm giving up imo, I can't seem to see it any other way right now.
I might not be particularly sane anymore. I don't know. Maybe I'll care later. For now he gets it.
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  #13  
Old 20-07-2017, 01:42 PM
Snow Goose Snow Goose is offline
Guide
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 500
 
What are you going to gain by 'getting him'? Kick him out or take a holiday.

I had an ex a long time ago that I had a kid with, he used to bully me and beat me, I realised I would have to leave of my own accord or I would be taken out of the house in a body bag.

The night I left he had beaten me for the last time, he was very drunk and blacked out asleep after it, I went down stairs, I was so angry I considered getting a kitchen knife and stabbing him I managed to stop myself and threw something heavy at him (not that he noticed) I left that night and got my own place.

What would have happened if I stabbed him? More than likely I would have ended up in jail and never seen my child again. What would my vengence have gained me? Nothing, I would have lost everything and had any sense of freedom taken from me.

What do you think would be the outcome of any vengence you take against this man, who I'm guessing you loved at some point?
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  #14  
Old 20-07-2017, 02:36 PM
Lorelyen
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Myvie
In contrast.....Him painfully knowing what a piece of garbage he and his behaviour have been would be real satisfying.
It's stupid and childish and angry of me but for the time being I can't shake that feeling of wanting to force a concept of reality down on him real hard.
That is what I wanted especially when so angry. Maybe it's pointless and I'll get over it but a good psychological smack-down is still in order right now as far as I'm concerned, in any way I can elicit it. That was what the spell was for and only done long after it was clear no other things were going to work.
It's perfectly understandable in your situation. There's come the time when you're no longer ready to be abused and making him feel what a burden he is would be good all round - as good a lesson for him too if he can bothered to learn it. No need for qualms. I was reading Psalm 109 the other day and realised that great kings and spiritual folk occasionally do this. Were I in your situation it would make me feel a lot better if it could be done.

Quote:
I'm at my worst in years very unexpectedly, recently. Mental and physical health unrelated thing that developed.

This is not the time and I'm not feeling like letting much go for someone so evil they would pick now of all times to be hateful and hurtful.
It's this or I'm giving up imo, I can't seem to see it any other way right now.
I might not be particularly sane anymore. I don't know. Maybe I'll care later. For now he gets it.
Well, you shouldn't give up. You're the one being presumed upon. Keep strength and courage. Go out, maybe dine alone out just to clear some air and space. You seem to have arrived at a decision.

All the best with it.


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  #15  
Old 21-07-2017, 07:30 PM
Snow Goose Snow Goose is offline
Guide
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 500
 
Lorelyen I would like to ask you something.... Why do you support this kind of vengaence against another person?

This has been in my head for the past couple of days, might seem silly but truly I would like to understand why?

Myvie hasn't really disclosed much of anything about why she is upset with her bf....... Does he really deserve some kind of spell cast against him? Has he done anything wrong? In most relationships both people make errors and learn from these.

Or are you being a foe in encouraging this vengeance when more than likely it's going to bounce back at Myvie?

Intrigued............
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  #16  
Old 22-07-2017, 11:52 AM
Myvie Myvie is offline
Knower
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 140
 
It's perhaps vengeance but not sheer "I want something bad to happen to him just to get back" but specifically "I want him to get it" as in hit full force with the reality of what he has become so as to elicit every manner of nasty feeling of shame and remorse a healthy human should conceivably feel upon realizing what they've done and hopefully some change.

As it turns out today was a breakthrough. Instead of attacking, and behaving like a despicable entitled, freak show because I simply try to ask a question, or to punish me for having realistic expectations that make him a wee bit uncomfortable, instead of being emotionally abusive, and cutting everything off or diverting with truly ludicrous, crazy-making nauseatingly obviously dishonest accusations to scream about so as to avoid reality... or ultimately finding a way to shut me out in every unfair and ignorant manner possible as he has been for some time now, he suppressed his delusional self-righteous rage and actually started to talk. And listen. And talk.

There is no excuse for the way he has treated me and for years I have treated him as someone extra special in my life but he decides to kick me when I'm down with this garbage.
Any time he was going through something hard, and I mean long hard really messy stuff, I invested in him, remained consistent any time we were in touch or dating way back when and then also in recent times, and bent over backward for him. I never expected lavish thanks and praise. Some basic understanding and respect would be really bloody sweet now more than ever however. But no.

So yeah I want him to "get it" as he should have all along but he's earned a little emphasis or two because I have never felt so burnt by another person in my life and least expected it from him and yeah I had a lot of really sick, awful fury that was coming out one way or another...may as well be in the form of a last ditch effort for something to change for the better. The only way that would happen would be if he "gets it"

Whatever bounces back at me If anything won't even be discernible amidst the way I've been feeling combined with the consequences of a medical error and mental health stuff from that that I'll be dealing with for some time yet. I was everything short of done with everything plenty enough lately. The anger is so much better than giving up and needs to have its place.
That is an unusual thing for me to hear myself say but there are good reasons for it I get now.
I suspect the trees took the brunt of the excess energy and yeah, that's a bit scary and I'm lucky and glad nobody got hurt.
Or maybe it was all a coincidence.
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  #17  
Old 22-07-2017, 04:37 PM
CrystalSong CrystalSong is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,163
  CrystalSong's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Myvie
So yeah I want him to "get it" as he should have all along but he's earned a little emphasis or two because I have never felt so burnt by another person in my life and least expected it from him and yeah I had a lot of really sick, awful fury that was coming out one way or another...may as well be in the form of a last ditch effort for something to change for the better. The only way that would happen would be if he "gets it"

Whatever bounces back at me If anything won't even be discernible amidst the way I've been feeling combined with the consequences of a medical error and mental health stuff from that that I'll be dealing with for some time yet. I was everything short of done with everything plenty enough lately. The anger is so much better than giving up and needs to have its place.
That is an unusual thing for me to hear myself say but there are good reasons for it I get now.
I suspect the trees took the brunt of the excess energy and yeah, that's a bit scary and I'm lucky and glad nobody got hurt.
Or maybe it was all a coincidence.

Well to be honest a tree died, so harm was done, but you learned something valuable about working with magic.

My Higher Self explained to me the only difference in magic being Of the Light or Black Magic was the emotional state is was done from and even Magic of the Light could become Dark magic in the right circumstance if done from self serving reasons and not from LOVE without attachment to outcome.
Basically anything not done from Unconditional Love is Dark Magic and will have unexpected side effects and outcomes.

My Wiccan friends tell me the Rule of 7-Fold applies, which means something like whatever you cast when done from a dark mental state comes back on you seven fold. I actually watched this happen to someone who was casting out of jealousy and fear. In the following weeks after she cast to harm someone the family pet died, her child almost suicide and was hospitalized for 3 days, her brother fell off a roof and broke a hip and her childrens grandmother died, and the boyfriend took a nasty fall rock climbing. Basically everyone around her was hurt or died but the person she cast on was completely unscathed.
So lots of nasty kick back when trying to use magic to hurt someone or teach them a lesson.

As to the relationship it sounds like basic asking question from a place of honest curiosity and trying to understand his inner world is making much more progress that spell casting, it's also helping you develop a much more useful skill set as a human being which will serve you in this relationship and later ones.
Addtiionally really digging deep inside and asking if this relationship is actually serving you might be called for. Are your recent changes in physical and mental health related to the stress, dissatisfaction and lack of support in the relationship? Get clear about the timeline and whats happening determine if this is for sure the relationship for you or if you are hanging because its less scary than letyting go.
A wise man once said "If someone shows you who they are Believe them."
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  #18  
Old 23-07-2017, 12:46 PM
Myvie Myvie is offline
Knower
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 140
 
CrystalSong, that is exactly an example of what the ongoing problem was though, I couldn't ask... I was getting blocked, punished, abused for asking anything... for some time...
It became quite clear that without that communication being allowed it's as good as over so either he gets the boot, I disappear, or else magic lol
And the intention of the magic was for him to "get it" of course and now that he has he is assessing reality and talking about that inner world voluntarily...But me asking him anything, let alone about that, was not getting anywhere.
There have been more than ample attempts to try and talk things out and more and more he just made it obvious he wanted to crush me.
That option of asking anything was beyond hopeless by the time I came here writing about this.

Yesterday things continued to show signs that it's working and this time it didn't start with a stupid conflict/accusation or anything nasty. It just came out of nowhere that he started talking. He turns off the movie he's watching once I sat down in the same room at one point and just starts going into it, saying he's suddenly been thinking steadily and constantly about stuff he does and reactions he's been having to things, me, and life and all the things he's blaming for it. That he is really disturbed by himself and those reactions and feeling unsure of how to create healthy patterns of reactions until he deals with what is beneath it.

I wasn't expecting anything this specific and lucid so soon to be honest.. or sure I should expect the spell to work at all or him to change at all... so it makes me feel so much more hopeful..

It is a lot to summarize but for a few points, he is saying he feels like a mask is coming off uncontrolled that is revealing very ugly things about himself that will sooner or later have to be faced, and he realized he's unfairly justified bad behaviour by blaming all sorts of things that won't get him anywhere (including me, for stuff I'll start really ranting about if I think about it too hard, but stuff no healthy functioning adult would or should ever resent their partner for) and it had hit him that even if he was completely alone and didn't have to behave for anybody he would be at war with himself and miserable if he kept thinking the way he's been thinking and he'd be destroying himself still. He said it scared him to realize this, and disgusted him that he had slipped so far out of control.

He went into some heavy stuff and past stuff too, childhood even, like it didn't sound like superficial attempts to sound good to keep me around because, perhaps, he realized he's crossed too many lines and would lose me, or something. But who knows.
He was in tears a number of times.
Im hopeful but cautious and still feeling the remnants of being burned. He has realized a lot of work needs to be done, which is great, but actually doing it is crucial and that will take time.
It was such an abrupt change that I would probably be a fool to suggest that this wasn't brought on by the spell. It could be the fact that things did get so unusually harsh and cruel on his part for the first time that I've witnessed anyhow, that it naturally triggered some alarm after a certain point too but the timing of it is curious still. Anyway, I really want to encourage him and I feel like it's a lot easier to consider forgiving him as long as he is truly thinking about these things.
I would eventually no matter what knowing how much of a sucker i am. but things are still raw so I'm sticking to trying to just say the odd positive thing and not bring up anything I'm bitter about right now because I might just fly off yet especially after being so blatantly ...uninvited...to be open/ask him to be open about anything for so long. I want him to focus on him after all, and I don't want to sabotage it with a focus on my disappointment now. This is what I wanted to see after all....

I've had two teachers along the lines of anything magical and was always taught that this stuff about bad things bouncing back at you is nonsense. Any spell even with great positivity behind it can backfire or cause a swath of damage just depending on a multitude of factors and I have personally seen some pretty astounding chaos result from spells that aimed to create a good effect as well.

So I'm not sure what I think. The thing is, there was a lot of very negative hurt and furious feelings coming from me and a lot of ranting on here and some rather fragile states of mind going on as I have worked through this..but when it comes down to it, the actual intended outcome is a productive one and the emotion hopefully provided the energy build needed... and even if seemingly negative it was done hoping to elicit something that while painful would hopefully save this relationship and be good for everyone's mental health and growth in the end. I think it would be dangerous to be too black and white about things and not try out of fear, and then just walk out on everything and I would be left forever wondering if things could have been made better this way anyhow.

All that hurt and pain and anger is legit, anybody should be hurt by this sort of garbage treatment reasonably, and that energy is going to do its work whether directed into something consciously or not. The release has to happen or it gets caustic. It was getting caustic. It doesn't have to be through spellcraft of course as a general rule.
I mean, I reasonably could still dump him and then take my pain to therapy or do some art or whatever outlets (and still should do those things too probably), and in other and different situations there would be much better outlets than doing spells for sure, I'm just not convinced that in this case in particular that I would be happy with myself for not trying it this way.
I think a lot more caution should have been used and I surprised/scared myself however. But if I'm going to get a bounce back sevenfold or something on this one, then in theory it's going to be about getting real with and working on myself ultimately because that's what I wanted it to cause for him, and that could be real hard/ugly but probably good for me just the same.

Just because "negative" emotions were involved I don't think means I will accidentally cause the death of my pets or something. I think that's a very human, fearful even superstitious theory that got popular and easy to illustrate with backfired spells that happen all the time, regardless... but it's not what I was taught... however...They don't know everything, I don't know everything, so who knows...I can't say I'm sure it's impossible or that I'm not worried about it either.
And I've certainly learned a few lessons already with this one.

Also...
Some thoughts/observations came up with the apparent "fallout" that happened with the trees... first the guys came and cut down the trees on the left side and really close to the spot I worked and right at it. They stopped at it actually, I'm not sure why. They never went chopping stuff down along the full length of the fence, only to where my "work" area was. These were all small trees except for the first main one. These trees were damaging this fence for years (fence = protection and boundaries) and nobody would listen to the tenants. Interesting. Finally the one big one has started to interfere with the power lines and that's when they took it seriously, is what I found out. And when they came to take care of the one messing the power line, only then did they bother to trim out some of the other trees that were only messing with the fence because it was convenient to get it all done at once I guess. Anyhow, there was a problem with energy or flow of power, and interference with the fence, the protecting boundary. There was a problem with people not getting listened to.
I realize how much that parallels my complaints. He was creating blocks. He was disrespecting my boundaries. He was not listening. He was exerting power in a pathological, improper way by being abusive. Coincidences?

Then the next day the big and I mean huge tree to the right side, that I had talked about....
That came down and landed on everything next door. That tree's canopy covered both our lots basically, it was massive. It's trunk is thick and not too far up split into two smaller trunks that reached up some distance before the smaller branches/full leafy parts of the tree started. It wasn't the entire tree that came down. It was the larger half. The tree appeared to be lush and healthy all this time but once it snapped over you could see that the centre of that portion contained quite a significant core of rot and weakening. I don't know how deep or far that rot travelled or if the main trunk is dying too. It was not dead yet but it was well on its way before I did any spellwork....
Interesting I wanted reality to "get him" and for him to understand.... that tree mirrored that part of the situation curiously. The inner damage was exposed to the light of day.

I thought at first it was energy causing some chaos and destruction but it seems a little too perfect of a reflection of the problems/intentions/solutions themselves which were all involved in this...
It is pretty dramatic and people could have got hurt nonetheless. Im not sure how to take it all in right now but thought it would be worth sharing and thinking about out loud.
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