The Spiritual Dance of the Narcissist and the Sensitive

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by SaraTherase

I agree that 'like attracts like'. Similarities may not appear obvious on the surface but you can be sure that internally there will be some mirroring and reflecting of one another going on.

The irony here is that we attract what we are to us but often we don't actually like who we are so right away we are going to see faults or find irritations and annoyances in the person we often attract. Thus we are presented with an opportunity to heal and learn from one another by recognizing that what we really don't like about the other person is really just showing all that we really don't like about ourselves.

The majority of people including myself have character disorders or defects that need to be worked through whether due to trauma, personality or illness. Psychological treatment without spirituality will not work and vice versa. I think more than a psychologist, what people really seek is a sounding board so that they can learn to discover and make sense of themselves for themselves. Seeing a psychologist will never work if one does not feel that sense of genuine care, interest and trust from the psychologist. Its sadly a system that is failing many because it is so impersonal and clinical.

My advice to anyone really struggling mentally would be to look at yourself like you would a young child. What does a young child need?

They need to be well cared for so make self care a real priority. Try to eat healthy, drink water, air out your house/room often and try your best to go outside everyday and get some light exercise.

They need healthy love so seek out people to connect with in a healthful way. Research ways in which you could help people to the best of your capability and find people to talk to and share things with.

They also need routine and stability so create a simple daily routine for yourself, keep it basic and realistic. Be open to trying meditation if you can as this will no doubt help to stabilise those emotions.

They also need boundaries and rules so establish personal boundaries as well as examining your morals and values.

Blaming or saying that one person is more at fault or damaged than another isn't productive or helpful. Greater understanding and awareness can happen when we learn to show and have empathy, consideration and compassion for everyone regardless of who they are or their situation. We don't help but only hinder one another when we pick each other to pieces. At the end of the day if someone really wants someone's help or input they will ask for it. A person has to want to recognise in order to become aware enough to choose to take the first step towards change. If someone doesn't want to change or seek help then leave them be as they are.

Reflections can be gained through all life. It’s the nature of our human mirroring that connects to understand self and others. If you are noticing.

I think I shared my moment with a very strong feminine who could or might be described as a narc. When you reflect through what is before you, if there is no reaction then often there is no attachment to what is occurring. You accept and see others as they are. If you are a clear and open sensitive, there is opportunities as I faced, to be willing to feel and let go. As I did. The old sensitive would have feared her and become so entrenched by the nature of her behaviour, most likely feared living. My experience was attracting her, to see her, feel her and know I love my sensitive side. And that of course is all about my own clear seeing, clear feeling, awareness of myself and her in this light. There was no esteem issues. No self worth issues. Sometimes people slip in to show you how far you have come. How deeply you have opened your self love.

[SaraTherase]

Originally Posted by Sojourner2013

Hi SaraTherase,

Yes, yes, I agree with your statements. They are both in pain, but they are attempting to solve it externally.

There is a spiritual philosopher, whose name escapes me, but he basically says that each of us is capable of healing oneself. Socrates expressed something similar, "Physician, heal thyself." (I think, something like that).

Establishing boundaries is easier said than done, especially if you grew up in an environment that had none or very minimal boundaries. I find that people lacking boundaries have to be taught as if they were a newborn child.
They can't be taught within the toxic relationship because it would be like building a house starting with a livingroom, but no houseframe.


Also, the color of love is either non-existent or discolored by the parent(s) and caregivers in childhood, so a true sense of love is unknown and unidentifiable to both parties. You can't give your child a color to paint the world with if you don't have that color on your palette yourself. The child will hopefully find it from someone else as they get older and meet others. But there's the chance that it will resemble the same color that they grew up with.

Thank you for your response Sojourner2013, I too agree with MissHepburn

I understand the importance of self healing and it reminds me of that saying 'you can't love someone else if you don't know how to love yourself'.

I do however see how such opportunities for mutual growth and healing can occur within all types of relationships.

Boundaries can be learnt just as one can learn to love in a healthy way. Its not easy your right and it takes hard work, effort and time but its essential to your quality of life, well being and ability to function fully.

[SaraTherase]

Originally Posted by JustBe

Reflections can be gained through all life. It’s the nature of our human mirroring that connects to understand self and others. If you are noticing.

I think I shared my moment with a very strong feminine who could or might be described as a narc. When you reflect through what is before you, if there is no reaction then often there is no attachment to what is occurring. You accept and see others as they are. If you are a clear and open sensitive, there is opportunities as I faced, to be willing to feel and let go. As I did. The old sensitive would have feared her and become so entrenched by the nature of her behaviour, most likely feared living. My experience was attracting her, to see her, feel her and know I love my sensitive side. And that of course is all about my own clear seeing, clear feeling, awareness of myself and her in this light. There was no esteem issues. No self worth issues. Sometimes people slip in to show you how far you have come. How deeply you have opened your self love.

Yes Justbe I agree that our lives are merely a reflection of our inner world and selves

[Sojourner2013]

Originally Posted by ocean breeze

I guess this is why i attract gorgeous women who are crazy and messed up on the inside.

After all, like attracts like.

That's a good bingo!

[Sojourner2013]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Sojourner....you seem brilliant on this subject, I must say.
Very impressive.

Hi Miss Hepburn,

Thank you for the kind words. Spirit helps me flesh out a lot of my confusions/questions, but I do attribute it to mainly four things:

1. Reading and understanding the Tao Te Ching;

2. Getting a psych degree later in life after I got tons of life experience and could apply the concepts to those various experiences;

3. Growning up on an Indian reservation where there is an acute amount of all abuses (physical, sexual, domestic, substance/alcohol, etc.) and you realize that sometimes dysfunctionality becomes so commonplace that it becomes functional. I had a very close relationship with God at 4 y.o. (by choice) and I believe that that relationship protected me from a lot more than I might have experienced otherwise.


4. Going into the military to experience a most painful ego death at the height of my womanhood (23 y.o).

All of our experiences are providing something to ease our way down the road, just not maybe at the time. haha, funny but not funny.

[Sojourner2013]

Originally Posted by SaraTherase

Thank you for your response Sojourner2013, I too agree with MissHepburn

I understand the importance of self healing and it reminds me of that saying 'you can't love someone else if you don't know how to love yourself'.

I do however see how such opportunities for mutual growth and healing can occur within all types of relationships.

Boundaries can be learnt just as one can learn to love in a healthy way. Its not easy your right and it takes hard work, effort and time but its essential to your quality of life, well being and ability to function fully.

Hi SaraTherase,


Thank you for contributing to this topic.

So glad you mention the Boundaries thing because there are many people who have no concept of what they are because they were never taught. I always advise people who become aware of being an empath to learn firstly about boundaries because their energy tends to absorb their environment. But if they learn how to put in mental, emotional and physical boundaries, they won't get impinged upon so easily down the road. It's for their own protection.