Another new member; hello

[Carnate]

Hey, Everyone.

I'm not entirely sure where to start, because there's a lot to explain... which is made worse by my habit of typing a lot. If you can get over your initial shock at the length of this, I'm pretty sure you'll find it a worthwhile read. I'm going to hold a lot of details back, because there are some things I'm not ready to share yet.. at least not to any random person who comes across this.

Firstly, I'll explain that I'm under 40, and have been off work due to problems with my working memory (not to be confused with my long term memory). I work as a psychologist, and have been on extended sick leave for about 8 months now. Doctors and specialists are now looking at diagnosing me with either early onset dementia or a functional neurological disorder. Which is another way of saying, 'there's pretty much nothing physically wrong with you, but there is something serious going on that we can't explain'. These diagnoses are often given by a process of eliminating anything else that could be causing symptoms similar to what I'm having.

I take this to mean there's some spiritual blockage that's affecting me physically. In a roundabout way, this is why I'm here.

Importantly, I grew up in a household where spirituality met science and psychology. Both myself and my mother were very intelligent (mum was a member of MENSA), and various 'supernatural' events/activities were normal for us. We could see auras, spirits, hear people's thoughts, astral travel, and more. I was generally a good kid because mum always knew the truth. I could not lie to her because she would simply read my mind. I had 'spirit friends' that mum knew and spoke to. And when we were apart, mum could contact me telepathically to send simple messages. She would also astral travel to visit and check up on me, and I would see her when she visited.

I got into trouble fairly often at school, because initially, I was unaware that other people didn't see the world the same way I did. A choice was made to put a block in place that gradually reduced my psychic skills, thus allowing me to have a fairly normal schooling life. By the time I graduated from high school, I could barely see any colour in people's auras, I rarely saw spirits, and only picked up people's thoughts when they were in heightened emotional states.

After I moved out of home, I pretty much put spirituality behind me. I'd tried several times, over significant lengths of time to reactivate my previous abilities, but always met with failure. I did the normal life thing for a long time. But the block that was put in place didn't come down when I finished high school. I figured it was because I hadn't finished my education. I went and got some qualifications and ended up working as a psychologist.

The blocks didn't come down.

Over the last 6-7 years, I've been experiencing a gradual decline in several of my cognitive functions, while others remained unaffected. For those with statistics/psychology backgrounds; aspects of my processing speed and perceptual reasoning were off the chart; the tests were not challenging enough to accurately measure these skills. However, my word retrieval and working memory were in the Borderline range (5th percentile or lower), when previously, they would have been similarly high as my other cognitive skills. I've got a degree in English and Creative Writing.. my word retrieval should be great. I used to love writing, but now, the effort to write this piece is very high. It's the brain's plasticity that's allowing me to utilise other skills to make up for my deficits.

My theory is that the psychic blocks that were put in place are now presenting in undesirable ways... not that the blocks themselves are currently desirable in any way. So I figure, if I can open my third eye, I can see where the blocks are, and see the energy as I worth on trying to remove those blocks.

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been putting in a more concerted effort to overcome these blocks; whether by removing them or circumventing them. If I get a diagnosis from a doctor, they'll also likely give me an expected life span far lower that what I'd like. For me, this is something of a do or die situation.. or maybe not 'something of a do or die', it potentially is.

What's interesting is, in the past decades, when I've tried to reawaken my skills nothing has come of it. Only over the last couple of weeks, results have come surprisingly easy. I've gone from seeing next to no auras, to easily seeing the first layer, and yesterday, I caught some colour shinning through.

Now, when I close my eyes, I see (not in my minds eye, in my actual visual field) scenes, objects, and faces. I am recognising when I'm 'downloading' information from my higher-self and can see these images as they come through. Last night was particularly interesting because I got my first glimpse of seeing the physical with my eyes closed; this is hard to explain because the process is complicated. While I never did this as a child, there were people in our circle of friends who could see with their physical eyes closed. It's doubly hard to explain because I saw in 3D, but was not strictly bounded by my visual field (or even within it). It's like seeing everything within a sphere around you, but not from any particular vantage point.

About 30 minutes ago, while meditating, I had my first (spontaneous) astral travel experience in decades. As you'd expect, this didn't last long because of my excitement. It seems like the timing is right for me to reawaken, finally!


Which brings me to why I'm here. I need some place to document what's happening. My short term / working memory problems results in details not reaching my long term memory. Also, being able to connect with similar people is likely to have further positive effects on my development. I'm not really here for strategies or answers. I have those already; I may even be able to help other people achieve their goals.


I'm happy to answer any questions people have, offer insight to people's problems, or expand on the details above. I've got a lot of knowledge and experience to share, so please feel free to ask.

[SoulOne]

Hello Carnate, welcome to the spiritual forums! The blocking you experienced maybe because your "Entities" want you to do something. I also experienced memory loss sometimes, but I recognize it quickly and find out and understand the problem as soon as I know there is problem (which is rather quick now at days) and I need to deal with in my life. If you have any insight for me that would be great also, please check out my Welcoming Thread, where I give a brief summary of my Spiritual Awakening.

[Rishi]

Warm greetings and welcome to the forum, Carnate

[Carnate]

Thanks for the messages. Looking forward to meeting new people.

[shoni7510]

Hello Carnate and welcome to spiritual forums and I hope you will enjoy it here.

[QueenofClubs]

Hello and Welcome!! :)

[baro-san]

Originally Posted by Carnate

Hey, Everyone

... A choice was made to put a block in place that gradually reduced my psychic skills, thus allowing me to have a fairly normal schooling life. ...

...

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been putting in a more concerted effort to overcome these blocks; whether by removing them or circumventing them. ...

I suggest you try hypnosis or self-hypnosis regression. You should get the answers you're looking for regarding your block, and probably you'd get rid of it.