Letting Go.

Yes, David F ^^^

It's extremely difficult to "let go" of one's past. In fact I think it's impossible because the material that makes it up, the links that tie it all together and lead to your present can't be unwritten from memory. Even hypnotism would just hide them.

Maybe best just to try to rationalist them as part of your make up and re-visit them through your current, more mature eyes. If you've done things you now consider "bad" then face up to them and through meditation dispel their influence on your present.

It's pointless thinking you can just "let go". If things weigh on your conscience the best you could hope for is to pretend you don't care, a sort of Goebellian thing: believe a lie long enough and it becomes the truth in the end. But that, too, will weigh on you in due time.

So it might be best to accept what's happened and use that to change direction. Becoming spiritual can (for some) take time. It won't happen in a week. In a way it parallels physical exercise: the effort you make now is an investment for 10 years' time.

But it does sound as if you've reached an important decision, made your choice and taken the first steps. Just make sure your past guides you in a different direction now. Make such reparations as you can and just give it a little more time.

.....

[Gem]

Originally Posted by (im)perfectdream1794

Hello, I'm new on here but I would like to make a post on letting go. To keep it short, I have a horrible track record. I have been trying to get into meditation and become more spiritual, I have gotten a lot better at meditating and getting to a state of peace, but I think my biggest barrier right now is that I cannot let go of my shameful past. I have tried meditating on it and tried to just know that my past isn't my present, and when I think I'm making notable progress, something happens to remind me of the past and just like that my confidence is shattered, I start self-loathing again. It's like I'm takine step forward and two steps back. Any advice would be greatly appreciate!

Thank you for reading.

Ok letting go... cool, get into meditation and today will be just a bit better. Indeed, the state of peace is good and shame is a toughy. Yep, hard times that are upsetting tend to recur in memory. Self loathing and low confidence are also pretty rough. Life often feels like one step forward/two steps back... yes it does seem like that sometimes.

Ok. the silence of the meditation often brings the hard past to the surface of conscious awareness, and that's always difficult, but still continue to practice.

[(im)perfectdream1794]

Astralsuzy, I have done exactly as you have and it works sometimes in combination with other methods, but I'm glad it works for you, I guess everyone is just different. Thank you David, I have been working hard at it, trying different things, my progress may be slow but any progress is progress I suppose. Thank you for the advice!

[(im)perfectdream1794]

Lorelyn, that was very well put again, I never really thought of it like that, but it makes sense, I guess my trying to let go was just an attempt at finding a means to an end but it's a comforting thought that even though I may regret my past I have learned a lot and now know how to steer clear of the same habits and mistakes. Maybe I should put more energy into accepting the past then trying to repress and forget it. One thing I have never once regret is starting to practice and becoming active in learning about spirituality, I will continue to practice and grow and take things as they come.

[starling]

Be aware (IPD) that life can set up patterns of behavior.

In my case I had a very bright brother and sister. I still often feel that every thing I do is wrong. I feel I get criticized for everything.

I've seen these patterns so often in peoples lives.

All I'm saying is its very easy to feel that way.....get caught up in a life pattern or (a) life habit.


(You have a pm)

[astralsuzy]

One way to let go is to forgive yourself. I am sure there are a lot of people who have done awful things including me and would love to change it. As you know it is impossible. The good news is we have learnt from our mistakes. There are people that do not learn or want to learn from their mistakes so at least we are not like that. Occasionally I get annoyed with myself for not doing something better that was in the past. That was how I was back then. I did know any better. I have to accept my past. There is a meditation called sajaga yoga medication. I am not sure how to spell it. It might be spelt sahaja. The group before they meditate they say out loud I forgive other people and I forgive myself. They say it twice a day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon or evening. I used to go to it years ago but I stopped going.

I have dealt with regret a lot in my life. I think you and others nailed it when you speak of acceptance of the past. But, I wasn't able to get to a place of acceptance until I really felt that I wasn't that person anymore. When I got to a place where I could accept my present self I came to a place where I could accept my past.

With the knowledge that I wasn't that guy anymore, I was able to point to my past-even publicly-without fear of rejection or embarrassment and take pride in the work I did (or that was done in me). I also started to listen to and believe the positive things people said about my character or integrity.

That's probably pretty elementary stuff to most but it was a breakthrough for me. I still deal with self-hatred and self-sabotage but I start to accept myself more and more as time goes on because I feel like I'm allowed to now.

I wanted to add one more thing: I get the sense (not necessarily psychicly) that you have a great capacity to love. A big heart. Someone once told me to use my heart to love more than grieve. Maybe that can apply to you too.

[(im)perfectdream1794]

All of this is really great advice, and makes a lot of sense. Astralsuzy, that sounds very relaxing and helpful. Do you know how you can get into something like that? Do you know if it is widely practiced and easy to get into? And I think David is right when he said it becomes a habit, I feel like I just keep running around a vicious circle and for people with an addictive personality it can be hard to step off the beaten path. Could getting more control of my ego, or getting rid of help with this? I want badly to forgive myself, but progress is made slow when I see pain in my loved ones' eyes. Life, love, regret, you are right, I have a huge heart and sometimes I fill it too much with grief. And you may think that your advice is elementary but it's valuable, sometimes I find people, myself and others, may overthink things and starting over with the more simple methods may be the way to go. Your advice speaks to me and I will use it, thank you all for your wisdom! :)

[astralsuzy]

It is called sahaja yoga meditation. It is free and it is practiced around the world. Look it up on line on the computer. It will tell you all about it.